LI  E>  RARY 

OF   THL 

U  N  I  VLR.SITY 
OF    ILLINOIS 


.  83 


Return  this  book  on  or  before  the 
Latest  Date  stamped  below. 

Theft,  mutilation,  and  underlining  of  books 
are  reasons  for  disciplinary  action  and  may 
result  in  dismissal  from  the.  University. 
University  of  Illinois  Library 


DEC  1  ?  1998 

3  B 

70 

JAN    3 

:378 

OEC1 

61977 

'JUL  2  6 

978 

JAN  0  1 

1989 

^si^li 

(     U\jc(^ 

1 

APR  2219 

» 

mi1* 

iJfljw 

i»<\Art 

0AM  04  *>* 

L161—  O-1096 

NIELS  KLDPS  NARRATIVE. 


NIELS  KLIM'S 

JOURNEY  UNDER  THE  GROUND; 

BEING    A 

NARRATIVE   OF   HIS    WONDERFUL    DESCENT    TO   THE    SUBTER- 
RANEAN   LANDS  ;    TOGETHER    WITH  AN    ACCOUNT   OF   THE 
SENSIBLE   ANIMALS    AND    TREES    INHABITING   THE 

PLANET    NAZAR   AND    THE   FIRMAMENT. 


BY    LOUIS     HOLBERG. 

TRANSLATED   FROM   THE   DANISH   BY 

JOHN    GIERLOW. 


WITH    A    SKETCH    OF    THE    AUTHOR'S    LIFE. 


BOSTON : 

PUBLISHED  BY  SAXTON,  PEIRCE  &  CO. 

NEW  YORK: 
SAXTON   &   MILES. 

1845. 


Entered  according  to  Act  of  Congress,  in  the  year  1844, 

BY    SAXTON,   PEIRCE   AND   CO. 
in  the  Clerk's  Office  of  the  District  Court  of  the  District  of  Massachusetts. 


BCTTTS,    PRINTER, 
SCHOOL  CIBSXT. 


LIST    OF    PLATES. 


NIELS  KLIM'S  DESCENT  TO  THE  PLANET  NAZAR,     .     .  1 

A  CRIMINAL  LED  BY  THREE  WATCHMEN,      ....  23 

PRESENTATION  OF  NIELS  KLIM  AT  THE  COURT  OF  POTU,  29 

A  CITIZEN  OF  POTU  LED  IN  TRIUMPH, 41 

THE   JUDGMENT   OF  A  KING'S   CHARACTER,  PRONOUNCED 

BY    A  POTUAN  COUNCIL, 48 

A  NEW    FASHION    INTRODUCED    INTO  MARTINIA,     ...  99 


420794 


INTRODUCTION, 


LEWIS  HOLBERG,  the  author  of  the  Narrative 
of  Niels  Klim,  was  the  most  eminent  writer 
among  the  Danes  in  the  eighteenth  century. 
His  works  show  a  surprising  versatility  of  genius, 
comprising  Histories  and  Treatises  on  Jurispru- 
dence, together  with  Satires  and  Comedies.  He 
was  by  birth  a  Norwegian,  but  was  educated 
at  the  University  at  Copenhagen  in  Denmark. 
Soon  after  receiving  a  theological  degree  from 
that  Institution,  he  visited  Holland  and  England, 
and  resided  about  two  years  at  Oxford.  Shortly 
after  his  return  he  published  an  "  Introduction 
to  European  History,"  and  an  "  Appendix  to  the 


Vlll  INTRODUCTION, 


Universal  History,"  in  which  he  gives  an  account 
of  contemporaneous  affairs  in  the  principal  gov- 
ernments of  the  world.  His  historical  labors 
were  interrupted  by  a  royal  appointment  to  a 
professorship  in  the  University.  This  office  he 
enjoyed  for  five  years,  and  then  went  abroad. 
In  his  Autobiography  he  has  given  an  interest- 
ing account  of  his  travels,  both  at  this  time  and 
subsequently,  and  has  described  men  and  man- 
ners in  a  way  highly  entertaining,  and  generally 
just.  He  visited  most  of  the  cities  of  Southern 
Europe,  abiding  some  time  in  each.  He  was 
well  received  by  men  of  letters,  and  made  many 
valuable  acquaintance,  wherever  he  went.  After 
remaining  one  whole  winter  at  Rome,  and  ac- 
complishing the  object  of  his  mission,  he  returned 
to  Copenhagen.  His  income  was  now  small,  and 
for  two  years  he  was  oppressed  with  great  pecu- 
niary difficulties.  It  was  during  this  period  that 
he  published  in  the  Danish  language,  his  "  Intro- 
duction to  the  Law  of  Nature  and  of  Nations." 
In  this  treatise,  Holberg  aimed  rather  to  apply 
the  principles  of  Natural  Law  to  the  Laws  and 
Constitutions  of  Norway  and  Denmark,  than 
elaborately  to  discuss  the  principles  themselves. 


INTRODUCTION.  IX 


The  work  was  coldly  received  at  its  first  ap- 
pearance, but,  after  ten  or  twelve  years  began  to 
excite  public  attention,  and  passed  through  sev- 
eral editions. 

At  length,  the  professorship  of  metaphysics 
becoming  vacant,  he  received  the  appointment. 
The  emoluments  of  this  office,  though  small, 
supplied  his  necessities,  and,  not  long  after,  on 
obtaining  a  more  lucrative  station  in  the  Univer- 
sity, he  was  relieved  from  his  embarrassments. 

Hitherto,  he  had  devoted  himself  almost 
exclusively  to  Jurisprudence,  History  and  Lan- 
guages, and  had  never  tried  his  hand  at  poetical 
composition.  Indeed,  he  had  ever  felt  a  strange 
aversion  to  the  study  of  poetry,  and,  although 
he  had  read  the  Latin  Poets,  and  composed  La- 
tin Poems,  it  was  more  for  the  sake  of  pro- 
ficiency in  the  language,  than  for  pleasure,  or, 
in  his  own  words,  "as  a  sick  man  swallows 
bitter  draughts,  not  because  they  are  grateful  to 
the  palate,  but,  because  they  are  recommended 
by  the  physicians." 

He  now,  however,  seemed  inspired  by  a  new 
ambition,  and  set  himself  to  imitate  one  of 
Juvenal's  Satires.  Encouraged  by  his  unexpect- 


INTRODUCTION. 


ed  facility,  he  projected  and  composed  an  orig- 
inal poem.  Its  success,  when  published;  sur- 
passed that  of  any  work  previously  written  in 
the  Danish  language.  Judicious  critics  hear- 
tily commended  it,  and  some  even  looked  upon 
it  as  introducing  a  new  era  in  thev  national  litera- 
ture. It  was  also  published  in  Sweden  and  Ger- 
many, and  raised  the  author's  reputation  abroad. 
He  next  published  five  more  Satires,  prefixing 
to  each  a  short  preface,  unfolding  the  writer's 
design.  His  poetical  productions  were  a  source 
of  more  honor  than  gain,  and,  becoming  weary 
of  almost  profitless  pursuits,  he  abandoned 
poetry,  and  devoted  himself  to  his  former 
studies. 

Nevertheless,  the  solicitations  of  friends  pre- 
vailed upon  him  to  turn  his  attention  to  Dramatic 
composition.  Here  he  was  equally  successful. 
His  comedies  were  received  with  great  applause, 
and  still  hold  possession  of  the  stage.  Like  his 
Satires,  they  were  intended  to  expose  fashion- 
able vice  and  folly.  They  are  twenty-five  in 
number.  The  names  of  several  will  give  some 
notion  of  their  general  character  —  The  Bab- 
bling Barber ;  Always  Busy  and  Doing  Noth- 


INTRODUCTION.  XI 


ing  ;  The  Treacherous  Step-father  ;  The  Polit- 
ical Tinman. 

His  health  being  impaired  by  unintermitted 
literary  labor,  he  determined  to  seek  relief  from 
the  baths  of  Aix-la-Chapelle.  He  did  not  derive 
from  them  the  benefit  he  anticipated,  but,  after 
spending  the  winter  in  Paris,  returned  home  with 
renewed  health  and  spirits.  His  next  publica- 
tion, was  a  Satirical  Poem,  entitled  "  Metamor- 
phosis," in  which  brutes  and  trees  are  trans- 
formed into  men.  This  was  the  last  of  his  poet- 
ical efforts. 

For  several  years  he  had  been  engaged  in  pre- 
paring "A  General  Ecclesiastical  History  from 
the  origin  of  Christianity  to  the  Reformation  of 
Luther"  which  he  now  published.  This  pro- 
duction, the  author  affirms,  was  written  with 
perfect  impartiality.  He  sometimes  censured 
the  Fathers,  praised  heretics,  when  they  de- 
served it,  and  occasionally  even  commended  the 
Popes.  It  was  extremely  popular,  though  all 
were  not  pleased  with  its  liberal  spirit.  A  Com- 
parative Biography  of  Asiatic  and  Indian  He- 
roes, after  Plutarch's  style  j  A  short  Historical 
Account  of  his  Native  Town ;  The  Narrative  of 


INTRODUCTION. 


Niels  Klim;  His  Autobiography ;  and  a  His- 
tory of  the  Jewish  Nation,  digested  from  the 
works  of  Josephus,  Prideaux,  and  Basnage,  close 
the  list  of  his  works. 

"  The  Journey  to  the  World  under  ground" 
or  "  Narrative  of  Niels  Klim"  had  been 
written  for  a  long  time,  but  he  had  refrained 
from  printing  it  from  an  unwillingness  to  pro- 
voke enmity.  But  the  importunity  of  friends, 
and  the  generous  offer  of  a  bookseller  finally 
prevailed,  and  he  put  it  into  the  printer's  hands. 
The  following  account  of  this  performance  is 
abridged  from  his  autobiography. 

There  are  many  persons  of  both  sexes  in  my 
country,  who  believe  in  fairies  and  supernatural 
beings,  and  who  are  ready  to  swear,  that  they 
have  been  conveyed  by  spirits  to  hills  and 
mountain  caves.  This  superstition  is  ridiculed 
in  Klim,  the  hero  of  the  tale.  He  is  supposed 
to  be  transported  to  the  world  under  ground, 
where  he  meets  with  some  surprising  adventures. 
Many  strange  creatures  inhabit  this  new  world  ; 
trees,  for  instance,  are  introduced,  endowed  with 
speech,  and  musical  instruments  discuss  ques- 
tions of  philosophy  and  finance.  Amongst  the 


INTRODUCTION. 


characters,  those  geniuses,  who  perceive  every- 
thing at  a  glance,  but  penetrate  nothing,  are 
conspicuous.  People  of  quick  perception,  whom 
we  use  to  admire,  are  despised  by  the  Potuans, 
who  look  upon  them  as  idle  loungers,  that, 
though  always  moving,  make  no  progress. 
Prudent  men,  on  the  contrary,  who  measure 
their  own  strength,  and  advance  cautiously,  are 
greatly  esteemed  by  that  nation,  though  with  us 
they  pass  for  fools  or  cowards.  The  Potuans 
and  Martinians  are  examples  of  both  these 
extremes.  By  the  former  Klim  was  considered 
a  blockhead,  on  account  of  the  quickness  of  his 
perceptions  ;  by  the  latter  he  was  equally  despised 
for  the  slowness  of  his  apprehension.  To  Klim, 
who  measures  virtues  and  vices  by  the  ordinary 
standard,  everything  is  a  paradox ;  but  what  he 
at  first  condemns,  he  admires  and  extols  aftet 
deliberation ;  so  that  the  object  of  the  whole 
work  is  to  correct  popular  errors,  and  to  distin- 
guish the  semblance  of  virtue  and  vice  from  the 
reality.  Its  subordinate  design  is  to  expose  the 
monstrous  fictions,  which  some  authors  obtrude 
upon  us  in  their  descriptions  of  remote  coun- 
tries. 


XIV 


INTRODUCTION. 


"  The  Narrative  of  Niels  Klim"  though 
written  so  many  years  ago,  contains  many  sati- 
rical hits,  exceedingly  applicable  to  the  present 
time  ;  thus  showing  that  what  appears  to  one  age 
to  be  a  whim  altogether  new,  may  be,  in  fact, 
only  some  old  notion  newly  promulgated.  Great- 
er liberties  were  allowed  at  that  period  in  litera- 
ture than  would  now  be  permitted.  Holberg's 
humorous  productions  are  not  wholly  free  from 
a  fault,  whose  existence  the  taste  of  any  age  may 
explain,  but  does  not  excuse. 

After  living  in  competency  for  many  years  in 
Copenhagen,  he  was,  in  1747,  created  a  baron 
by  the  king  of  Denmark.  He  died  in  1754. 


•*•- 


APOLOGETIC     PREFACE. 


PETER  KLIM  AND  ANDREAS  KLIM,  THE  SONS  OF  THOMAS  KLIM, 

AND  GRANDSONS  OF  KLIM  THE  GREAT,  TO 

THE  KIND  READER. 


SINCE  it  has  come  to  our  ears  that  some  persons 
have  doubted  the  truth  of  this  story,  and  that,  conse- 
quently, the  publisher  of  the  subterranean  voyage  has 
gotten,  here  and  there,  a  bad  reputation,  we  have,  to 
prevent  all  false  accusations,  held  it  advisable  to  pre- 
fix to  this  new  edition  certificates  from  men  whose 
honesty  and  sincerity  are  raised  above  all  distrust,  and 
whose  evidence  will  secure  the  publisher  against  all 
opposition.  The  first  two  of  these  witnesses  we  know 
to  have  been  contemporary  with  our  hero;  the  rest 
flourished  at  a  period  immediately  subsequent ;  and  all 
are  generally  known  as  people  venerable  in  virtue  and 


XVI 


t 

APOLOGETIC    PREFACE. 


honesty,  whose  cool  and  sound  judgments  effectually 
preclude  the  blandishments  of  cajolery,  while  their  no- 
ble candor  and  undeviating  uprightness  forbid  the 
sanction  of  their  names  to  whatever  is,  in  its  nature, 
deceitful  or  fictitious.  With  the  testimony  of  such  re- 
spectable persons,  we  shall  bind  the  tongues  of  all 
false,  prejudiced  and  sneering  critics,  and,  before  these 
signatures,  oblige  them  to  acknowledge  their  folly  and 
take  back  their  heedless  accusations.  The  certificate 
sent  to  my  brother  and  myself  reads  thus  : 

"  At  the  desire  of  the  estimable  and  much  respect- 
ed young  men,  PETER  KLIM  and  ANDREAS  KLIM,  we, 
the  undersigned,  do  certify,  that  among  the  books  and 
papers  left  by  the  celebrated  NIELS  KLIM,  we  have 
seen  a  manuscript,  with  the  title,  '  Subterranean 
Voyage.'  To  the  same  '  Voyage '  were  added  a  sub- 
terranean Grammar  and  Dictionary,  in  two  languages, 
namely,  Danish  and  Quamitic.  By  comparing  the  cel- 
ebrated Abelin's  Latin  translation  with  this  old  manu- 
script, we  find  that  the  former  does  not,  in  the  least 
point,  deviate  from  the  hand-text.  To  its  further  con- 
firmation we  have  hereby  placed  our  seals. 

ADRIAN  PETERSON,  MPP. 

JENS  THORLAKSEN,  MPP. 

SVEND  KLAK,  MPP. 

JOKUM  BRANDER,  MPP.   >  #$i 

JENS  GAD,  (for  self  and  brother,)  MPP. 

HlERONYMOUS  GlBS,  (Scotch,)  MPP." 


APOLOGETIC    PREFACE.  Xvii 

We  hope  by  such  distinguished  and  authentic  testi- 
mony to  remove  all  doubt ;  but  should  there  be  found 
any  stubborn  enough  to  persist  in  their  suspicions,  in 
spite  of  these  certificates,  we  will  anticipate  their  ob- 
jections, and  endeavor  to  subdue  their  incredulity  with 
other  weapons. 

It  is  a  known  fact,  that  in  a  section  of  Norway, 
called  Finnmark,  exist  people  who  have  advanced  so 
far  in  the  study  and  practice  of  natural  witchcraft,  (a 
science  into  which  other  nations  have  scarcely  looked,) 
that  they  can  excite  and  subdue  storms;  transform 
themselves  to  wolves ;  speak  several,  and  in  our  world 
entirely  unknown,  languages;  and  travel  from  the 
north  to  the  south  pole  in  less  time  than  one  hour. 
One  of  these  Finns,  by  name  Peyvis,  came  lately  to 
Bergen,  and  exhibited  so  many  strange  proofs  of  his 
art  and  science,  that  all  present  deemed  him  worthy  of 
a  doctor's  hat :  at  the  same  time  a  fierce  critic  came 
out  with  a  review  of  the  "  Subterranean  Travels," 
which  he  assumptively  tagged  to  the  long  list  of  "  old 
women's  stories ;  "  the  honor  of  the  Klims  being  thus 
impugned,  and  his  own  by  implication,  Peyvis,  through 
our  influence,  obtained  permission  to  collect  materials 
and  prepare  himself  for  a  voyage  under  ground.  He 
commenced  by  publishing  a  card,  wherein  he  exalted 
his  abilities  in  the  following  expressions  : 


XV111  APOLOGETIC    PREFACE. 

What  will  you  1   say ! 
From  northern  ice  to  southern  land  : 
From  eastern  isles  to  western  sand, 
Spirits  of  earth,  spirits  of  air  ; 
Spirits  foul  and  spirits  fair, 

My  power  obey ! 

I  break  the  rainbow's  arched  line ; 
That  herald  of  approaching  calm. 
Thunder  I  send  by  cold  moonshine,  — 
Mine  is  the  bane  and  mine  the  balm. 
My  beck  upwhirls  the  hurricane  : 
The  sun  and  moon  and  stars  in  vain 
Their  wonted  course  would  keep  ; 
Honey  from  out  the  rock  doth  weep 

When  I  command. 

My  potent  wand, 

Stretched  on  the  mighty  northern  wave, 
Or  seas  that  farther  India  lave, 
Subdues  their  mountain  billows  hoarse, 
To  inland  brooklets'  murmuring  course. 
What  is  on  earth,  what  is  in  sea, 
In  air  and  fire,  from  Pey vis  free  ?' 

Everybody  shuddered  from  fear  at  hearing  these  in- 
credible assumptions.  The  Finn  immediately  prepared 
himself  for  the  voyage,  undressed,  and,  strange  sight! 
suddenly  transformed  to  an  eagle,  raised  himself  in- 
to the  air  and  soon  vanished.  After  a  full  month's 
absence,  our  wonderful  doctor,  early  on  a  morning, 


APOLOGETIC    PREFACE. 


XIX 


re-appeared,  entirely  exhausted,  his  forehead  stream- 
ing with  sweat.  When  sufficiently  recovered  from  his 
fatigue,  he  commenced  a  description  of  his  adventures 
on  his  air  passage  and  in  the  subterranean  lands.  He 
told  us  that  on  his  arrival  below,  war  was  raging  be- 
tween the  established  government  and  the  opposition, 
in  which  the  party  of  Klim  got  the  ascendancy,  and 
reinstated  the  son  of  our  Niels  on  the  throne;  our 
kinsman  had  for  a  long  time  borne  the  sceptre,  under 
the  administration  of  his  mother ;  but  now,  old  and 
glorified  for  many  great  feats,  reigned  alone  over  the 
whole  subterranean  world,  with  the  name  of  Niels  the 
Second. 

Now,  take  shame  to  yourselves,  ye  incredulous 
mortals !  and  learn  hereafter,  in  important  matters, 
to  proceed  with  more  caution.  Be  ashamed,  ye  scof- 
fers! and  ask  pardon  for  your  unfounded  accusa- 
tions, your  atrocious  sneers.  Stand  abashed,  finally, 
ye  hyper-critics!  and  know  that  the  learned  world 
shall  no  longer  suffer  from  your  audacious  and  unrea- 
sonable judgments ;  then  silence  your  stunted  progeny 
at  their  birth,  or  if  you  will,  yourselves  ! 


-•*• 


CHAPTER    I. 


THE  AUTHOR'S  DESCENT  TO  THE  ABYSS. 


•*•• 


IN  the  year  1664,  after  graduating  at  the  Aca- 
demy of  Copenhagen,  in  Theology  and  Philoso- 
phy, I  prepared  to  return  to  my  father-land,  and 
took  passage  in  a  ship  bound  for  the  city  of  Ber- 
gen, in  Norway.  I  had  been  furnished  with  bril- 
liant testimonials  from  both  faculties,  and  wanted 
only  money ;  —  a  fate  common  to  Norwegian 
students,  who  generally  return  home  with  empty 
purses  from  the  Temple  of  the  Muses. 

We  had  a  good  wind,  and  in  three  days  arrived 
at  my  native  town,  Bergen. 
1 


2  NARRATIVE   OF    NIELS    KLIM. 

I  occupied  myself  now,  in  expanding  my 
knowledge  of  natural  philosophy,  and  for  prac- 
tice, geologically  examined  the  neighboring 
mountains.  On  the  top  of  the  most  interesting 
of  these  mountains,  (interesting  I  mean  to  a  stu- 
dent,) was  a  remarkable  cave,  which  the  inhabi- 
tants of  the  town  called  Florien.  From  its 
mouth,  a  mild  and  not  unpleasant  air  issues  at 
certain  periods,  as  though  the  cave  inhaled  the 
breeze  and  gently  sighed  it  forth  again. 

The  learned  in  Bergen,  especially  the  cele- 
brated Abelin  and  Edward,  had  longed  to  exam- 
ine it;  but  these  latter,  from  their  great  age, 
being  unable  to  perform  so  arduous  a  feat,  used 
every  occasion  to  induce  the  young  and  adven- 
turous to  attempt  the  exploration.  Instigated, 
(and  it  was  a  foolish,  and  I  might  say,  a  wicked 
resolution,)  instigated,  I  say,  not  less  by  the  en- 
couragement of  these  great  men  than  by  my  own 
inclination,  I  determined  to  descend  into  the 
cave.  The  longer  I  thought  of  the  matter,  the 
firmer  I  became.  I  prepared  every  thing  needful 
for  the  expedition,  and  on  a  Thursday,  at  the 
morning  twilight,  departed  from  the  city.  I 
started  thus  early,  because  I  desired  to  finish  my 


NAEKATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 


labors  before  dark,  and  make  a  report  the  same 
evening. 

How  little  did  I  then  dream  that  like  another 
Phaeton,  I  should  be  driven  headlong  through 
the  air  and  precipitated  to  another  globe,  there  to 
ramble  for  the  space  of  ten  years,  before  I  should 
see  my  friends  and  native  land  again.  The  ex- 
pedition took  place  in  the  year  1665.  Accom- 
panied by  four  men  to  carry  the  necessary  im- 
plements, and  assist  in  letting  me  down,  I  as- 
cended the  mountain.  v  Arrived  at  the  top,  near 
the  fatal  cave,  we  sat  down  to  breakfast.  Now, 
for  the  first  time,  my  heart  began  to  faint,  -as 
though  it  foreboded  my  coming  misfortune  ;  but, 
in  a  moment,  my  half  extinguished  courage 
blazed  again.  I  fixed  a  rope  around  my  body, 
stood  on  the  edge  of  the  cave,  and  commended 
my  soul  to  God.  Ordering  the  men  to  veer  the 
rope  steadily,  and  to  hold  when  I  cried  out,  I 
took  a  boat-hook  in  my  right  hand,  and  glided 
into  the  abyss.  Aided  by  the  pole,  I  was  ena- 
bled to  keep  clear  of  the  jutting  points  of  rock 
that  would  have  impeded  my  progress,  as  well 
as  have  wounded  me.  I  was  somewhat  anxious 
about  the  rope,  for  it  rubbed  hard  against  the 
•#  -  •*• 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 


rocks  at  the  top ;  and,  in  fact,  I  had  scarcely  de- 
scended twenty  to  thirty  feet,  when  it  gave  way, 
and  I  tumbled  with  strange  quickness  down  the 
abyss,  armed  like  Pluto,  with  a  boat-hook,  how- 
ever, in  place  of  a  sceptre. 

Enveloped  by  thick  darkness,  I  had  been  fall- 
ing about  a  quarter  of  an  hour,  when  I  observed 
a  faint  light,  and  soon  after  a  clear  and  bright- 
shining  heaven.  I  thought,  in  my  agitation, 
that  some  counter  current  of  air  had  blown  me 
back  to  earth.  The  sun,  moon  and  stars,  ap- 
peared so  much  smaller  here  than  to  people  on 
the  surface,  that  I  was  at  a  loss  with  regard  to 
my  where-a-bout. 

I  concluded  that  I  must  have  died,  and  that 
my  spirit  was  now  about  to  be  carried  to  the 
blessed  dwellings.  I  immediately  conceived  the 
folly  of  this  conclusion,  however,  when  I  found 
myself  armed  with  a  boat-hook,  and  dragging  be- 
hind me  a  long  strip  of  rope  ;  well  knowing  that 
neither  of  these  were  needful  to  land  me  in  Para- 
dise, and  that  the  celestial  citizens  would  scarcely 
approve  of  these  accessories,  with  which  I  appear- 
ed, in  the  manner  of  the  giants  of  old,  likely  to 
attack  heaven  and  eject  the  gods  therefrom. 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 


Finally,  a  new  light  glimmered  in  my  brain. 
I  must  have  got  into  the  subterranean  firmament. 
This  conclusion  decided  the  opinion  of  those, 
who  insist  that  the  earth  is  hollow,  and  that 
within  its  shell  there  is  another,  lesser  world, 
with  corresponding  suns,  planets,  stars,  &c.,  to 
be  well-grounded.  The  result  proved  that  I 
guessed  right. 

The  rapidity  of  my  descent,  continually  aug- 
mented for  a  long  time,  now  began  to  decrease 
gradually.  I  was  approaching  a  planet  which  I 
had  from  the  first  seen  directly  before  me.  By 
degrees  it  grew  larger  and  larger,  when,  penetra- 
ting the  thick  atmosphere  which  surrounded  it, 
I  plainly  saw  seas,  mountains  and  dales  on  its 
surface. 

As  the  bold  bird,  between  the  billow's  top 
And  mountain's  summit,  sweeps  around 
The  muscle-clothed  rock,  and  with  light  wing 
Sports  on  the  foam,  my  body  hovered. 

I  found  now  that  I  did  not  hang  in  the  atmo- 
sphere, buoyed  up  by  the  strong  current  of  which 
I  have  spoken,  but  that  the  perpendicular  line  of 
my  descent  was  changed  to  a  circle.  I  will  not 

deny  that  my  hair  rose  up  on  my  head  in  fear, 
l* 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 


I  knew  not  but  that  I  might  be  metamorphosed 
to  a  planet  or  to  a  satellite  ;  to  be  turned  around 
in  an  eternal  whirl.  Yet  my  courage  returned, 
as  I  became  somewhat  accustomed  to  the  mo- 
tion. The  wind  was  gentle  and  refreshing. 
I  was  but  little  hungry  or  thirsty  ;  but  recollect- 
ing there  was  a  small  cake  in  my  pocket,  I  took 
it  out  and  tasted  it.  The  first  mouthful,  how- 
ever, was  disagreeable,  and  I  threw  it  from  me. 
The  cake  not  only  remained  in  the  air,  but  to 
my  great  astonishment,  began  to  circle  about  me. 
I  obtained  at  this  time  a  knowledge  of  the  true 
law  of  motion,  which  is,  that  all  bodies,  when 
well  balanced,  must  move  in  a  circle. 

I  remained  in  the  orbit  in  which  I  was  at  first 
thrown  three  days.  As  I  continually  moved 
about  the  planet  nearest  to  me,  I  could  easily 
distinguish  between  night  and  day  ;  for  I  could 
see  the  subterranean  sun  ascend  and  descend  — 
the  night,  however,  did  not  bring  with  it  dark- 
ness as  it  does  with  us.  I  observed,  that  on  the 
descent  of  the  sun,  the  whole  heavens  became 
illuminated  with  a  peculiar  and  very  bright  light. 
This,  I  ascribed  to  the  reflection  of  the  sun  from 
the  internal  arch  of  the  earth. 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KL1M. 


But  just  as  I  began  to  fancy  myself  in  the 
near  presence  of  the  immortal  gods,  about  to 
become  myself  a  new  heavenly  light  and  won- 
dered at  as  a  brilliant  star  —  behold !  a  horrible, 
winged  monster  appeared,  who  seemed  to  threaten 
me  with  instant  destruction.  When  I  saw  this 
object  in  the  distance  I  supposed  it  to  be  one  of 
the  celestial  signs,  but  when  it  came  near  I  per- 
ceived it  to  be  an  enormous  eagle,  which  fol- 
lowed in  my  wake  as  if  about  to  pounce  upon 
me.  I  observed  that  this  creature  noticed  me 
particularly,  but  could  not  determine  whether 
as  a  friend  or  enemy. 

Had  I  reflected,  I  should  not  have  wondered 
that  a  human  being,  swinging  round  in  the  air, 
with  a  boat-hook  in  his  hand,  and  a  long  rope 
dragging  behind  him,  like  a  tail,  should  attract 
the  attention  of  even  a  brute  creature. 

My  uncommon  figure  gave,  as  I  afterwards 
understood,  occasion  for  strange  reports  to  the 
inhabitants  on  my  side  of  the  planet. 

.The  astronomers  regarded  me  as  a  comet, 
with  a  very  long  tail.  The  superstitious  thought 
my  appearance  to  be  significant  of  some  coming 
misfortune.  Some  draughtsmen  took  my  figure, 


8  NARRATIVE    OF   NIELS   KLIM. 

as  far  as  they  could  descry  it,  so  that  when  I 
landed  I  found  paintings  of  myself,  and  engrav- 
ings taken  from  them,  and  hawked  about. 

But  to  return  ;  the  eagle  flew  towards  me  and 
attacked  me  with  his  wings  very  furiously.  I 
defended  myself  as  well  as  I  could  with  my 
boat-hook,  and  even  vigorously,  considering  my 
unstable  situation.  At  last,  when  he  attempted 
to  grapple  with  me,  I  thrust  the  hook  in  be- 
tween his  wings  so  firmly  that  I  could  not  extri- 
cate it. 

The  wounded  monster  fell,  with  a  terrible 
cry,  to  the  globe  beneath  ;  and  holding  the  hook, 
I,  well  tired  of  my  pendant  attitude,  was  dragged 
to  the  planet. 

At  first  my  descent  was  violent,  but  the  in- 
creasing thickness  of  the  atmosphere  as  I  ap- 
proached the  planet,  made  me  sink  with  an  easy 
and  soft  fall  to  the  earth.  Immediately  on 
touching  it  the  eagle  died  of  its  wounds. 

It  was  now  night :  or  rather  the  sun  was 
down,  for  it  was  not  dark.  I  could  see  clearly 
to  read  the  papers  I  had  in  my  pocket. 

The  light,  as  I  have  already  said,  comes  from 
the  firmament  or  internal  shell  of  our  earth,  half 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 


9 


of  it  being  brightened  at  one  time  like  our  moon. 
The  only  difference  between  night  and  day  is 
that  the  absence  of  the  sun  makes  the  weather  a 
little  colder. 


CHAPTER    II. 


THE  AUTHOR'S  ARRIVAL  AT  THE  PLANET  NAZAB. 


MY  voyage  through  the  air  was  now  ended. 
I  lay  for  a  long  time  entirely  immovable,  await- 
ing my  fate  with  the  approach  of  day.  I  now 
observed  that  the  wants  and  weaknesses  of 
humanity,  which,  during  my  passage  had  ceased, 
now  returned.  I  was  both  sleepy  and  hungry. 
Fatigued  in  mind  and  body  I  fell  into  a  deep 
slumber.  I  had  slept,  as  far  as  I  could  judge, 
about  two  hours,  when  a  terrible  roar,  which 
had  previously  disturbed  my  slumbers,  suddenly 
waked  me.  I  had  dreamed  some  curious  dreams ; 


NARRATIVE    OF   NIELS   KLIM.  11 

in  one,  I  thought  myself  to  be  in  Norway,  at  the 
church  in  my  native  town,  listening  to  the  sing- 
ing of  our  clerk,  whose  voice  was  really  un- 
pleasant from  its  roughness.  My  first  impression 
therefore,  on  recovering  myself  was,  that  this 
man  was  indulging  in  an  extraordinarily  ambi- 
tious strain.  In  fact,  on  opening  my  eyes,  I 
saw  a  huge  bull  within  a  few  feet  of  me.  At  the 
same  moment,  a  vigorous  roar  from  this  animal 
convinced  me  that  I  did  not  listen  to  church  music. 

It  was  now  day-break,  and  the  rising  sun 
began  to  gild  the  green  oaks  and  fruitful  fields, 
which,  spreading  abroad  in  every  direction, 
astonished  my  recovered  sense. 

How  much  greater  was  my  surprise  when  I 
saw  the  trees,  of  which  there  were  great  num- 
bers in  my  vieAV,  move,  although  not  a  breeze 
stirred. 

The  vicinity  of  the  bull  not  being  pleasing  to 
me,  I  arose  and  began  to  ascend  a  tree  which 
stood  near.  As  I  raised  myself  by  its  limbs,  it 
gave  a  low,  yet  shrill  scream,  and  I  got  at  the 
same  time  a  lively  slap  on  my  ear,  which  pro- 
pelled me  headlong  to  the  ground.  Here  I  lay 
as  if  struck  by  lightning,  about  to  give  up  my 


12          NARRATIVE  OF  NIELS  KLIM. 

spirit,  when  I  heard  around  me  a  murmuring 
noise,  such  as  is  heard  on  the  Exchange  when 
the  merchants  are  assembled. 

I  opened  my  eyes  and  saw  many  trees  moving 
about  the  field.  Imagine  my  agitation,  when 
one  of  the  trees  swept  towards  me,  bent  one  of 
its  branches,  and,  lifting  me  from  the  ground, 
carried  me  off,  in  spite  of  my  woful  cries,  fol- 
lowed by  an  innumerable  number  of  its  compan- 
ions of  all  kinds  and  sizes.  From  their  trunks 
issued  certain  articulated  sounds,  which  were 
entirely  incomprehensible  to  me,  and  of  which  I 
retained  only  the  words :  Pikel-JEmi,  on  account 
of  their  being  often  repeated.  I  will  here  say, 
these  words  mean  an  extraordinary  monkey, 
which  creature  they  took  me  to  be,  from  my 
shape  and  dress.  All  this,  of  course,  I  learned 
after  being  some  months  among  them. 

In  my  present  condition,  I  was  far  from  being 
able  to  conceive  of  the  nature  of  sensible,  speak- 
ing trees.  In  truth,  so  confounded  was  I,  that 
I  forgot  I  could  speak  myself.  As  little  could  I 
understand  the  meaning  of  the  slow,  solemn  pro- 
cession, and  the  confused  murmurs  which  re- 
sounded in  the  air. 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM.  13 

I  fancied  they  were  reproaching  or  expressing 
their  contempt  of  me.  I  was  not  far  from  the 
truth  :  for  the  tree  into  which  I  had  climbed  to 
escape  from  the  bull,  was  no  less  than  the  wife 
of  the  sheriff  of  the  neighboring  town,  to  which 
they  were  now  taking  me  a  prisoner. 

The  buildings  and  streets  of  this  town  were 
very  handsome  and  extensive.  The  houses, 
from  their  height,  appeared  like  huge  towers. 
The  streets  were  wide  and  filled  with  trees, 
which  swayed  about  and  saluted  each  other  by 
lowering  their  branches. 

The  greater  this  declination,  the  more  ex- 
pressive was  it  of  respect  and  esteem. 

As  we  passed  through  a  very  wide  street  I 
saw  a  tall  oak  approach  a  distinguished  house, 
when  the  trees  which  escorted  me,  stepped 
gracefully  back,  and  bent  their  branches  to  the 
ground.  I  concluded  this  must  be  a  more  than 
common  personage.  In  fact,  it  was  the  sheriff 
himself,  the  very  dignitary,  whose  lady  it  was 
insisted  I  had  come  too  near.  I  was  carried 
to  the  hall  of  this  officer's  house,  and  the  door 
was  locked  upon  me.  Several  trees  armed  with 
axes  kept  guard  over  me.  The  axes  were  held 

— ? * 


•#• — 

14  NARRATIVE    OF   NIELS   KLIM. 

in  the  branches,  which  served  the  same  purpose 
as  human  hands.  I  noticed  that  high  up  in  the 
branches  each  wore  a  head,  about  the  size  of 
my  own,  covered  with  leaves  and  tendrils  instead 
of  hair.  Below  were  two  roots  or  legs,  very 
short. 

These  trees  were  much  smaller  than  those  on 
our  earth,  in  fact  being  about  the  height  of  a 
man  ;  some  indeed  were  much  shorter  ;  but 
these  I  concluded  to  be  children. 

While  reflecting  on  the  miserable  situation  in 
which  I  found  myself,  and  weeping  over  the  ill- 
luck  of  my  adventure,  my  guards  stepped  up  to 
me  and  commanded  me  to  follow  them.  They 
led  me  to  a  splendid  building  in  the  middle  of 
the  market-place. 

At  the  door  of  this  building  stood  Justice,  cut 
out  in  the  form  of  a  tree,  holding  among  the 
branches  a  pair  of  scales.  I  presumed  the  struc- 
ture to  be  the  court-house,  nor  was  I  deceived. 
I  was  carried  into  a  large  room,  the  floor  of 
which  was  overlaid  with  glittering  marble  flags 
of  various  colors. 

At  the  upper  end  a  golden  chair  was  raised  a 
little  above  the  floor,  like  a  judge's  seat ;  in  it 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM.  15 

was  seated  a  sedate  palm  tree,  distinguished  from 
the  rest  by  the  gorgeousness  of  his  leaves ;  a  lit- 
tle below  him  were  seated  twelve  assessors,  six 
on  either  side.  About  them  stood  twenty-four 
officers  holding  axes.  I  was  not  a  little  terrified 
when  brought  a  prisoner  before  these  magnates. 

As  I  entered  the  hail,  all  the  officers  of  the 
court  stood  up,  elevated  their  branches  and 
then  sat  down.  After  this  ceremony  I  was 
placed  at  the  bar  between  two  trees,  the  stems 
of  which  were  covered  with  sheep-skins.  These 
persons  I  supposed  to  be  lawyers,  and  so  they 
were. 

Before  the  trial  commenced,  the  head  of  the 
judge  was  wrapped  up  in  a  black  blanket.  The 
accuser  then  made  a  short  speech,  which  he 
thrice  repeated.  The  lawyer  appointed  to  de- 
fend me,  replied  in  the  same  manner.  A  perfect 
silence  then  ensued.  In  half  an  hour  the  su- 
perior judge  rose  from  the  chair,  removed  the 
blanket,  raised  the  branches  towards  Heaven, 
and  spoke  with  much  grace,  what  I  supposed  to 
be  my  sentence.  I  was  then  carried  back  to 
my  prison. 

While  I  mused  on  the  strange  things  I  had 


16  NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 

witnessed,  a  tree  came  into  my  cell,  with  an 
instrument  resembling  a  lancet  in  his  hand. 
He  stripped  one  of  my  arms,  and  made  a  punc- 
ture in  the  median  vein.  When  he  had  taken 
from  me  as  much  blood  as  he  deemed  sufficient, 
he  bound  up  the  wound  with  great  dexterity. 
He  then  examined  my  blood  with  much  atten- 
tion, and  departed  silently,  with  an  expression  of 
wonder. 

This  circumstance  by  no  means  weakened  the 
opinion  which  I  had  for  some  time  entertained, 
that  these  people  were  shallow  and  foolish.  But 
my  judgment  proved  to  be  too  hasty.  When 
I  was  better  enabled  to  judge  of  what  passed 
about  me,  by  acquaintance  with  the  subterra- 
nean languages,  my  contempt  was  changed  to 
admiration. 

I  will  now  explain  the  ceremonies,  which  to 
my  ignorance  seemed  ridiculous. 

From  my  figure  it  was  concluded  that  I  was 
an  inhabitant  of  the  firmament.  I  was  supposed 
to  have  attempted  to  violate  the  person  of  a 
chaste  and  virtuous  lady,  and  for  this  crime  I 
had  been  taken  to  the  court-house  for  trial. 

The  rising  of  the  branches  towards  Heaven, 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 


17 


was  a  common  ceremony  of  religion.  The  law- 
yers were  clothed  in  sheep-skin,  to  remind  them 
of  the  attributes  of  their  calling  —  innocence, 
faithfulness,  and  sedateness.  The  repetition  of 
their  speeches  was  on  account  of  the  very  slow 
apprehension  and  cautious  decision  of  the  peo- 
ple, by  which  peculiarities  they  were  distinguish- 
ed from  all  the  inhabitants  of  the  subterranean 
world.  But  what  most  excited  my  curiosity  was 
the  history  of  the  supreme  judge.  This  was  a 
virgin,  a  native  of  the  town,  and  appointed  by 
the  King  to  the  office  of  Kaki,  or  judge,  for  her 
superior  virtue  and  talent.  It  must  be  observed 
that  this  nation  pay  no  regard  to  sex  in  appoint- 
ments to  office,  but,  after  a  strict  examination, 
elect  those  to  take  charge  of  affairs  who  are 
proved  to  be  the  most  worthy. 

Seminaries  are  established  throughout  the 
country,  to  teach  the  aspirants  to  public  honors 
the  duties  appertaining  to  the  direction  of  gov- 
ernment. The  business  of  the  administrators 
of  these  colleges  is  to  search  closely  into  the 
brains  and  hearts  of  the  young  students,  and 
when  satisfied  with  their  virtue  and  ability,  to 
give  to  the  king  a  list  of  those  fully  prepared  to 

2* 


18  NAHRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KL1M. 

fill  the  public  offices.  The  administrators  are 
called  Karatti. 

The  young  virgin  of  whom  I  have  spoken, 
had  received,  four  years  before  from  the  Karatti, 
a  certificate  for  remarkable  attainments  and  vir- 
tues, and  had  been  invested  with  the  "  blanket." 
This  blanket  was  wrapped  about  her  head  during 
my  trial ;  this  precaution,  however,  is  taken  only 
in  trials  such  as  mine,  in  which  the  occasional- 
ly broad  nature  of  the  testimony  might  have  a 
painful  effect  upon  the  virgin  judge,  should  her 
face  be  exposed  to  the  public  gaze. 

The  name  of  this  virgin  was  Palmka.  She 
had  officiated  for  three  years  with  the  greatest 
honor,  and  was  considered  the  most  learned  tree 
in  the  city. 

She  solved  with  so  much  discretion  the  knot- 
tiest questions,  that  her  decisions  had  come  to 
be  regarded  as  oracles. 

As  Themis'  self,  with  scales  of  equal  weight, 
She  judged  with  candor  both  the  small  and  great : 
The  sands  of  truth  she,  like  the  goddess,  frees 
From  falsehood's  glitter  and  from  error's  lees. 

The  following  account  was  given  to  me'  of 
the  blood-letting  to  which  I  had  been  subjected. 

-*- 


NARRATIVE  OF  NIELS  KLIM.  19 

When  any  one  is  proved  to  be  guilty  of  a  crime, 
he  is  bled,  for  the  purpose  of  detecting  from  the 
color  of  the  fluid,  or  blood,  how  far  his  guilt 
was  voluntary  or  otherwise ;  whether  he  had 
sinned  through  malice  or  distemper.  Should 
the  fluid  be  found  discolored,  he  is  sent  to  the 
hospital  to  be  cured ;  thus  this  process  is  rather 
a  correction  than  a  punishment.  A  member  of 
the  council,  or  any  one  high  in  office,  would  be 
removed,  should  it  be  found  necessary  to  bleed 
him. 

The  reason  why  the  surgeon,  who  performed 
the  operation  on  me,  was  astonished,  was,  on 
account  of  the  redness  of  my  blood.  The  in- 
habitants having  a  sort  of  white  fluid  in  their 
veins,  the  purity  of  which  is  proportional  to 
their  innocence  and  excellence. 

I  was  put  at  my  ease  when  I  observed  that 
the  trees  generally  possessed  a  large  share  of 
humanity.  This  was  displayed  in  their  little 
attentions  to  me.  Food  was  brought  to  me 
t.wice  a  day.  It  consisted  of  fruit  and  several 
kinds  of  beans ;  my  drink  was  a  clear,  sweet  and 
exceedingly  delicious  juice. 

The  sheriff,  in  whose  house  I  was  imprison- 


20 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 


ed,  had  immediately  given  notice  to  the  King 
that  he  had  by  accident  got  possession  of  a 
somewhat  sensible  animal  of  an  uncommon  fig- 
ure. The  description  of  my  person  excited 
the  king's  curiosity.  Orders  were  given  to 
the  sheriff,  that  I  should  be  taught  the  lan- 
guage of  the  country;  on  which  I  should  be 
sent  to  court.  A  teacher  was  appointed  for  me, 
whose  instruction  enabled  me  in  a  half  year  to 
speak  very  comprehensibly.  After  this  prepara- 
tory course  of  private  study,  I  was  sent  to  the 
seminary,  where  particular  care  was  taken  both 
of  my  mental  and  physical  education.  Indeed, 
so  enthusiastic  were  they  to  naturalize  me,  that 
they  actually  fastened  branches  to  my  body  to 
make  me  look  as  much  as  possible  like  them- 
selves. 


i     - 

O  O  O  O  O  O  O  O  O  O  O  O  O  O  O  O  O  O  O 


CHAPTER    III. 


DESCRIPTION  OF  THE  TOM  KEBA. 


DURING  the  course  of  my  education,  my  land- 
lord frequently  carried  me  about  the  town,  and 
pointed  out  the  most  remarkable  things.  Keba 
is  the  town  next  in  size  and  importance  to  the 
capital  of  the  kingdom  of  Potu.  The  inhabit- 
ants are  distinguished  for  their  sedateness  and 
moderation ;  old  age  is  more  respected  by  them 
than  by  any  other  community.  They  are 
strangely  addicted  to  the  pitting  of  animals 
against  each  other;  or,  as  they  call  it,  "play 
fight."  I  wondered  that  so  moral  a  people  could 


22  NARRATIVE    OF   NIELS   KLIM. 

enjoy  these  brutal  sports.  My  landlord  noticed 
my  surprise,  and  said,  that  throughout  the  king- 
dom it  was  the  custom  to  vary  their  lives  with 
a  due  mixture  of  earnest  duties  and  amusing 
pleasures.  Theatrical  plays  are  very  much  in 
vogue  with  them.  I  was  vexed,  however,  to 
hear  that  disputations  are  reckoned  suitable  for 
the  stage,  while  with  us  they  are  confined  to  the 
universities. 

At  certain  times  in  the  year,  disputants  are 
set  against  each  other,  as  we  pit  dogs  and  game 
cocks.  High  bets  are  made  in  favor  of  one  or 
the  other,  and  a  premium  is  given  to  the  win- 
ner. 

Beside  these  disputants,  who  are  called  Mas- 
bakki,  or  boxers,  various  quadrupeds,  wild  as 
well  as  tame,  are  trained  to  fight  as  on  our  globe. 

In  this  town  a  gymnasium  is  established,  in 
which  the  liberal  arts  are  taught  with  much  suc- 
cess. 

My  landlord  carried  me,  on  a  high  festival  day, 
to  this  academy.  On  this  occasion  a  Madic,  or 
teacher  in  philosophy,  was  elected.  The  candi- 
date made  a  very  prosy  speech  on  some  philoso- 
phical question,  after  which,  without  farther 


v  . 


,;* 


•*•• 

NARRATIVE  OF  NIELS  KLIM.  23 


ceremony,  he  was  entered,  by  the  administra- 
tors, on  the  list  of  the  public  teachers. 

On  our  way  home  from  the  academy,  we  met 
a  criminal,  led  by  three  watchmen.  By  sen- 
tence of  the  kaki,  he  had  been  bled,  and  was 
now  on  his  way  to  the  city  hospital.  I  inquir- 
ed concerning  his  crime,  and  was  answered,  that 
he  had  publicly  lectured  on  the  being  and  quali- 
ties of  God  — a  subject  entirely  forbidden  in  this 
country.  Disputants  on  these  matters  are  re- 
garded as  insane,  and  are  always  sent  to  the 
mad-house,  where  they  are  doctored,  until  they 
recover  their  sound  reason.  I  exclaimed :  Heav- 
en and  Earth  !  how  would  such  laws  operate  on 
our  globe,  where  thousands  of  priests  quarrel 
every  day  about  the  divine  attributes,  the  nature 
of  spirits,  and  other  secrets  of  the  same  charac- 
ter ?  Truly,  here  they  would  all  be  sent  straight- 
way to  the  mad-house.  These,  among  many 
other  singular  customs,  I  observed  during  my 
college  life.  Finally,  the  time  came  when, 
furnished  with  appropriate  testimonies  from  the 
teachers,  I  was  ordered  to  court.  Here  is  my 
certificate.  How  angry  and  confused,  was  I, 
when  I  read  it : — 


24  NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS   KLIM. 

"In  accordance  with  your  royal  order,  we 
hereby  send  the  animal,  which  sometime  since 
came  down  to  us  from  the  firmament ;  which  ani- 
mal calls  itself  man.  We  have,  with  sedulous  care 
and  patient  industry,  taught  this  singular  creature 
in  our  school,  and  after  a  very  severe  examination, 
pronounce  it  to  be  very  quick  in  its  perceptions 
and  very  docile  in  its  manners.  Nevertheless, 
from  its  obtuse  and  miserable  judgment  —  which 
we  believe  arises  from  its  too  hasty  inferences  — 
its  ridiculous  scepticism  on  unquestionable  points, 
and  its  no  less  ridiculous  credulity  on  doubtful 
ones,  we  may  scarcely  number  it  among  sensi- 
ble beings.  However,  as  it  is  far  quicker  on  its 
legs  than  any  of  our  race,  we  humbly  suggest, 
that  it  is  very  well  adapted  for  the  situation  of  a 
running-camp-footman.  Written  at  our  Semi- 
nary at  Keba  by  your  Highness'  most  humble 
servants. 

NEHEK,  JOKTAN,  RAPASI.  KILAK." 

•I  returned  sorrowfully  to  my  landlord,  and 
begged  of  him  with  tears  in  my  eyes,  to  use  his 
influence  to  alter  the  nature  of  my  certificate 
from  the  Karatti,  and  to  show  them  my  testimo- 
ny from  the  academy  of  Copenhagen,  in  which 
I  was  represented  as  a  remarkable  student.  He 
replied  to  me,  "  that  this  diploma  might  be  well 


NARRATIVE  OF  NIELS  KL1M.  25 

enough  in  Copenhagen,  where  probably  the 
shadow  was  regarded  more  than  the  substance  : 
the  bark  more  than  the  sap ;  but  here,  where  the 
kernel  was  more  important  than  aught  else,  it 
was  of  no  use." 

He  counselled  me  to  bear  my  fate  with  pa- 
tience, and  assured  me,  in  the  politest  manner, 
of  his  friendship.  Having  nothing  more  to  say, 
I  made  ready,  without  delay,  for  the  journey. 
There  travelled  in  company  with  me  several 
small  trees,  which  had  been  educated  with  me 
in  the  seminary,  and  were  now  destined  to  the 
capital  for  preferment. 

Our  leader  was  an  old  Karatti,  who  rode  on 
an  ox,  because  from  his  age  he  could  not  walk. 
Our  progress  was  very  slow,  so  that  three  days 
were  occupied  in  our  passage.  We  had  a  quick 
and  comfortable  jaunt,  if  I  except  the  meeting 
with  some  wild  monkeys,  that  would  spring  to- 
wards me,  and  pester  me  now  and  then.  They 
evidently  supposed  me  to  be  one  of  their  race. 
I  could  not  suppress  my  anger,  however,  when 
I  observed  that  the  trees  seemed  to  perceive  this 
mistake  of  the  monkeys,  which  gave  the  sap- 
lings food  for  laughter  at  my  expense.  I  must 


-•*• 


26 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 


remark  that  I  was  carried  to  court  in  the  same 
dress  which  I  wore  on  my  descent  to  the  planet, 
with  the  boat-hook  in  my  hand  and  the  rope 
dragging  after  me.  This  was  by  order  of  the 
king,  who  wished  to  see  me  in  my  own  bark. 


CHAPTER    IV. 


THE  ROYAL  COURT  OF  POTU. 


AT  last,  we  entered  the  large  and  splendid  cap- 
ital of  the  kingdom  of  Potu. 

We  were  first  carried  to  a  house,  where  all 
students  from  the  country  seminaries  are  receiv- 
ed, for  the  purpose  of  refreshment.  Here  we 
prepared  for  an  interview  with  the  king.  In  the 
mean  time  our  Karatti,  or  leader  went  before  to 
announce  us  to  the  court.  On  his  return,  we 
were  all  ordered  to  follow  him.  On  our  way  to 
court  we  met  several  small  trees,  with  printed 
stories  in  their  branches.  These  were  literary 


28  NARRATIVE    OF   NIELS    KLIM. 

hawkers.  I  accidentally  fixed  my  eye  upon  the 
title  of  one  of  these  books.  It  was :  "  A  true 
account  of  an  entirely  new  and  wonderful  me- 
teor, or  flying  dragon,  which  was  seen  last  year 
in  the  heavens."  I  knew  this  was  myself,  and 
therefore  purchased  the  book,  for  which  three 
kilak  —  about  two  cents  —  were  demanded.  On 
the  title  page  I  found  an  engraving  of  myself,  as 
I  appeared  while  hovering  over  the  planet,  ac- 
companied by  boat-hook  and  rope.  We  now 
approached  the  castle,  an  extensive  series  of  bat- 
tlements and  buildings,  more  distinguished  for 
its  strength  and  delicacy  of  finish  than  for  splen- 
dor. It  presented  to  my  view  a  very  singular, 
and,  I  may  say  rural,  appearance,  from  the  vast 
number  of  trees  on  the  walls. 

It  was  now  noon,  and  the  dinner  hour.  The 
king  wishing  to  see  me  before  he  dined,  I  was 
brought  alone  to  the  dining  hall.  The  king 
received  me  very  graciously,  uniting  in  a  re- 
markable degree,  while  addressing  me,  mildness 
of  tone  with  dignity  of  expression. 

At  my  entrance  into  the  hall,  I  knelt  before 
the  throne :  the  king  demanded  the  meaning  of 
the  ceremony.  Having  told  him  the  reason,  he 


NARRATIVE  OF  NIELS  KLIM.  29 

remarked,  that  such  worship  was  due  only  to 
the  Divinity.  When  I  had  raised  myself,  he 
put  to  me  several  questions  —  demanding  how  I 
had  come  down  ?  —  the  reason  of  my  journey  — 
my  name  —  where  I  came  from,  &c.,  all  which 
questions  I  answered  truly.  Finally,  he  inquired 
concerning  my  religion,  and  was  evidently 
much  pleased  with  our  creed.  I  was  ordered  to 
wait  till  dinner  was  over.  At  the  table  were 
seated  with  the  King,  the  Queen,  Prince,  and 
Kadok,  or  great  chancellor.  At  a  certain  sign, 
a  maiden  tree  entered,  bearing  in  her  eight 
branches,  as  many  dishes,  which  was  the  num- 
ber daily  served  at  the  royal  table.  Another  tree 
entered  with  eight  bottles,  filled  with  as  many 
different  juices.  In  the  dinner  conversation, 
frequent  mention  was  made  of  myself. 

After  dinner,  the  King  ordered  me  to  show 
my  testimony.  After  reading  it,  he  looked  at 
my  legs.  "  The  Karatti  are  perfectly  right !  " 
said  he ;  "and  their  advice  shall  be  followed." 
A  Kiva,  or  secretary,  was  now  sent  for,  to  enter 
me,  among  others,  in  the  royal  register  of  pro- 
motion. This  Kiva  was  a  tree  of  remarkable 

external  appearance;  he  had  eleven  branches  — 
3* 


30  KARRATIVE   OF    NIELS    KLIM. 


a  singular  number  —  and  was  able  to  write  elev- 
en letters  at  once.     With  this  tree  I  afterwards 
became  very  intimate ;   he  wrote  all  the  letters 
which  I,  as  footman,  carried  about  the  country. 
On  receiving  my  appointment,  I  went  to  bed. 
Although  I  was  much  fatigued,  I  could  not  get 
any  sleep  for  a  long  while.     However,  I  fell,  at 
last,  into  an  uneasy  slumber,  from  which  I  was 
suddenly  roused  by  an  uncommonly  large  mon- 
key, which,  on  opening  my  eyes,  I  found  playing 
all  manner  of  tricks  with  me,  much  to  the  amuse- 
ment of  several  young  trees,  my  companions. 
The  king  laughed  heartily  over  the  jokes  of  the 
monkeys,  when  they  were  related  to  him,  but  at 
the  same  time,  ordered  me  to  be- clothed  in  the 
subterranean  manner ;  that  is,  ornamented  with 
branches,  as  I  had  been  at  my  first  arrival  below 
ground.     My  European  clothes  were  taken  form 
me  and  hung  up  in  the  museum,  with  the  fol- 
lowing description  attached : 

DRESS    OF    THE    CREATURES    ABOVE    GROUND. 

After  my  fright  from  the  monkey,  I  got  no 
more  sleep.  In  the  morning  I  rose  with  the  sun, 
and  went  to  receive  my  charge  for  the  day.  An 


NARRATIVE    OF   NIELS   KLIM.  31 

innumerable  number  of  errands  were  given  me 
to  perform,  together  with  letters  and  documents 
directed  to  all  parts  of  the  country. 

This  life  I  led  four  years ;  during  my  rambles 
I  studied  the  character  of  the  inhabitants,  and 
copied,  as  far  as  possible,  their  habits.  The  peo- 
ple generally  are  distinguished  for  the  politeness 
of  their  manners,  and  the  sensibleness  of  their 
notions.  The  citizens  of  the  town  of  Maholki, 
only,  are  wanting  in  refinement  and  judgment ; 
they  are  thorn  trees ;  very  obstinate  and  crabbed 
in  disposition,  and  great  gossips,  withal ;  let  one 
take  you  by  the  button  and  you  cannot  get  away 
easily. 

Each  province  is  peopled  by  its  own  race  of 
trees  ;  in  the  country  each  village  has  one  sect ; 
but  the  large  cities  contain  a  mixed  population. 

I  had  a  good  opportunity,  as  courier-general, 
to  observe  the  peculiarities  of  these  people,  and 
I  shall  now  describe  their  polity  and  religion, 
their  laws  and  sciences. 


•*• 


CHAPTER    V. 

THE  KINGDOM  OE  POTU  AND  ITS  INHABITANTS. 


THE  kingdom  of  Potu  is  enclosed  within  very 
narrow  boundaries,  and  occupies  but  a  small 
space  of  the  inner  globe. 

The  whole  planet  Nazar  is  scarcely  six  hun- 
dred miles  in  circumference,  and  may  be  travelled 
over  its  whole  extent  without  guide  or  interpre- 
ter, for  there  is  but  one  language  throughout. 
As  the  Europeans  on  our  globe  take  the  first 
rank  among  the  nations,  so  are  the  Potuans  dis- 
tinguished among  the  nations  of  Nazar  for  their 
virtue  and  understanding. 


-•*• 


NARRATIVE  OF  NIELS  KLIM.          33 

The  roads  are  dotted  by  stone  pillars,  which, 
covered  with  inscriptions,  denote  every  mile ; 
affixed  to  them  are  hands  pointing  the  road  to 
every  city  and  village ;  —  splendid  cities  and 
prosperous  villages !  The  country  is  intersected 
by  greater  and  lesser  canals,  on  which  boats  pro- 
pelled by  oars,  skim  with  wonderful  celerity. 
The  oars  are  driven  by  self-moving  machines,  so 
quietly  that  very  little  motion  is  given  to  the 
water.  The  planet  Nazar  has  the  same  motion 
with  the  earth,  and  all  the  peculiarities  of  the 
latter  planet :  night  and  day ;  spring,  summer, 
autumn,  and  winter.  The  inhabitants  consist  of 
oak,  lime,  poplar,  thorn,  and  pine  trees,  from 
which  the  months  —  there  being  six  in  each  sub- 
terranean year  —  take  their  names. 

The  chronology  is  peculiar,  being  fixed  by 
remarkable  occurrences.  Their  oldest  tradition 
is,  that  three  thousand  years  ago,  a  mighty  comet 
appeared,  immediately  after  which  followed  a 
flood,  which  swept  off  all  the  races  of  trees,  ani- 
mals, &c.,  with  the  exception  of  one  or  two  of 
each  race,  who  saved  themselves  upon  a  high 
mountain,  and  from  whom  descended  the  present 
inhabitants.  Corn  and  other  grain  with  the 


34  NARRATIVE    OF   NIELS    KLIM. 

fruits  common  to  Europe,  grow  here  in  great 
profusion.  The  waters  are  filled  with  fish,  and 
upon  the  banks  of  the  rivers  are  seated  splendid 
country  houses.  Their  drink  is  prepared  from 
certain  herbs,  which  bloom  at  all  times  of  the 
year. 

In  Potu  is  established  a  very  useful  law  called 
the  "generation  law." 

This  law  varies  the  liberties  and  advantages 
of  the  people  according  to  the  number  of  chil- 
dren each  one  possesses.  Thus,  he  who  is  the 
father  of  six  children  is  exempted  from  all  com- 
mon and  extraordinary  taxes.  Therefore  gene- 
ration is  quite  as  useful  and  desirable  in  this 
country  as  on  the  earth  it  is  burthensome  and 
dangerous :  below  ground  never  was  such  a  thing 
imagined  as  a  small-pox-tax. 

No  one  can  hold  two  offices  at  once.  It  is 
thought  that  each  office,  however  small,  requires 
the  sole  attention  of  its  occupant,  and  that  none 
should  be  employed  in  that  which  they  do  not 
understand. 

I  remember  to  have  heard  the  philosopher 
Rakbasi  speak  thus :  "  Every  one  should  know 
his  own  talents,  and  should  impartially  judge  of 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 


35 


his  own  merits  and  faults ;  otherwise  the  actor 
must  be  considered  more  sensible  than  natural 
men  ;  for  he  chooses,  not  the  best  part,  but  that 
which  he  can  execute  best.  Shall  we  allow 
the  actor  to  be  wiser  on  the  stage  than  we  in 
life  ? " 

The  inhabitants  of  this  kingdom  are  not  di- 
vided into  classes ;  those  alone  being  regarded 
who  are  noted  for  virtue  and  industry.  The 
highest  rank,  if  rank  it  may  be  called,  is  given 
to  those  who  possess  the  greatest  number  of 
branches,  they  being  enabled  to  do  the  most 
work. 


•*- 


CHAPTER   VI. 


THE  RELIGION  OF  THE  POTUANS. 


THE  system  of  religion  in  Potu  is  very  sim- 
ple. 

It  is  forbidden,  under  pain  of  banishment  to 
the  firmament,  to  explain  the  holy  books  ;  who- 
ever dares  to  dispute  the  being  and  nature  of  the 
Deity,  is  sent  to  the  mad-house  and  is  bled.  It 
is  foolish,  they  say,  to  attempt  to  describe  that 
to  which  our  senses  are  as  blind  as  the  eyes  of 
the  owl  in  sunshine.  All  agree  in  worshiping 
a  superior  being,  whose  omnipotence  has  crear 
ted  and  whose  providence  maintains  all  things. 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM.  37 

Each  one  is  permitted  to  think  and  worship  as  he 
pleases ;  they  only  who  publicly  attack  the  pre- 
vailing religion,  are  punished  as  peace-disturbers. 
The  people  pray  seldom,  but  with  so  ardent  a 
devotion,  that  a  looker-on  would  think  them 
enraptured  during  the  continuance  of  the  prayer. 

I  told  them  that  it  was  our  custom  to  pray  and 
sing  psalms,  while  at  our  domestic  duties.  This 
they  blamed.  "  An  earthly  king,"  said  they, 
"  would  be  angry  should  one  who  came  to  pe- 
tition for  something,  brush  his  clothes  and  comb 
his  hair  in  the  presence  of  his  sovereign." 

They  have  many  curious  notions  of  religion, 
which  they  defend  very  artfully ;  for  example, 
when  I  remarked  to  some  of  them  whose  friend- 
ship I  had  gained,  that  they  could  not  expect  to 
be  blessed  after  death,  since  they  walked  in 
darkness  here,  they  answered  :  "  He,  who  with 
severity  condemned  others,  was  himself  in  dan- 
ger of  being  condemned." 

I  once  advised  them  to  pray  every  day.  They 
did  not  deny  the  importance  of  prayer,  but 
thought  true  religion  consisted  in  obeying  the 
will  of  God.  "  Suppose,"  continued  they,  "  that 

a  king  has  two    kinds  of  subjects :    some  err 
4 


38 


NARRATIVE    OF   NIELS   KLIM. 


every  day,  violating  from  ignorance  or  malice  the 
ruler's  commands ;  they  come  each  day  with  peti- 
tions and  deprecations  to  the  palace,  beg  pardon 
for  their  faults,  and  depart  only  to  recommit  them. 

"  The  others  come  seldom,  and  never  volunta- 
rily to  court,  but  execute  faithfully  and  diligent- 
ly every  of  the  king's  commands,  and  thereby 
evince  the  respect  and  loyalty  due  to  him. 

"  Will  not  the  king  think  these  deserving  of 
his  love,  as  good  subjects  and  faithful ;  but,  on 
the  contrary,  those  as  evil  subjects,  burthensome 
as  well  for  their  misdeeds  as  for  their  frequent 
petitions  ? " 

There  are  five  festival  days  during  the  year. 
The  first  of  these,  which  takes  place  at  the  be- 
ginning of  the  oak  month,  is  solemnized  with 
great  devotion,  in  dark  places,  where  not  a  ray 
of  light  is  suffered  to  enter,  signifying  that  the 
being  they  worship  is  inconceivable.  The  fes- 
tival is  called  the  "inconceivable-God's-day." 
The  whole  day,  from  sunrise  to  sunset,  the  peo- 
ple remain  immovable,  engaged  in  earnest  and 
heart-felt  prayer.  In  the  four  other  festivals, 
thanks  to  God  for  his  blessings  form  the  princi- 
pal ceremonies. 


CHAPTER    VII. 


THE  POTUAN  CONSTITUTION. 


IN  the  kingdom  of  Potu  the  crown  is  inherited, 
as  with  us,  by  the  eldest  son  of  the  king,  whose 
power  is  absolute.  The  government,  however, 
is  rather  fatherly  than  tyrannical.  Justice  is  not 
meted  and  bounded  by  law  alone,  but  is  the  re- 
sult of  principle,  a  principle  of  the  widest  philo- 
sophic comprehension.  Thus,  monarchy  and  lib- 
erty are  closely  united,  which  otherwise  would 
be  inimical  to  each  other.  The  ruler  seeks  to 
maintain,  as  far  as  possible,  an  equality  among 
his  subjects.  Honors  are  not  limited  to  any 


40  NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 

class;  but  the  poorer  and  more  ignorant  are  called 
upon  to  receive  their  opinions  from  and  submit 
to  the  decisions  of  the  richer  and  more  intelligent : 
the  young  are  to  respect  the  aged. 

The  annals  of  Potu  show  that  some  centuries 
ago,  certain  classes  were  highly  favored  by  the 
laws  to  the  exclusion  of  the  great  body  of  the 
people ;  frequent  disturbances  had  been  the  re- 
sult of  this  favoritism,  till  a  citizen  of  the  town 
Keba,  proposed  an  alteration  in  the  laws,  by  which 
all  distinctions  of  class  were  abolished,  and  while 
the  office  of  king  should  still  remain  hereditary, 
all  the  other  officers  of  government  should  be 
subject  to  the  will  of  the  people,  all  of  whom 
should  be  allowed  to  vote,  who  could  read  and 
write,  at  least,  their  names. 

According  to  the  custom  of  the  subterraneans 
in  such  affairs,  this  intelligent  and  patriotic  citi- 
zen was  led  to  the  market-place,  with  a  rope 
about  his  neck  :  his  proposition  was  considered, 
and  after  grave  deliberation  was  adopted,  as  con- 
ducive to  the  general  interest. 

The  mover  was  then  carried  in  triumph  through 
the  city,  honored  by  the  grateful  shouts  of  the 
people. 


UBRAril 
ofTME 

vnerrv  ,OF 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS   KLIM. 


41 


He,  who  has  the  most  numerous  offspring,  is 
regarded  as  the  most  deserving  citizen ;  he  is 
honored  above  all  others,  without  exception. 

Such  men  are  looked  upon  as  heroes,  and  their 
memory  is  sainted  by  posterity.  They  only  re- 
ceive the  name,  which  on  the  earth  is  awarded 
to  the  disturbers  and  enemies  of  the  race  —  the 
name  of — great ! 

It  is  very  easy  to  conceive  of  the  degree  in 
which  Alexander  and  Julius  Caesar  would  be 
prized  by  this  people ;  both  of  whom  not  only 
had  no  children  themselves,  but  murdered  mil- 
lions of  the  offspring  of  others. 

I  remember  to  have  read  the  following  inscrip- 
tion on  the  tomb  of  a  Keban  peasant : 

"  Here  lies  Jorktan  the  great,  the  hero  of  his 
time,  father  of  thirty  children." 

Among  the  court  officers  the  Kadori,  or  grand- 
chamberlain,  is  the  superior.  Next  after  him 
comes  the  Smizian,  or  treasurer.  In  my  time, 
the  seven-branched  widow,  Kahagna,  filled  the 
latter  place.  She  was  a  virtuous  and  industri- 
ous woman  ;  although  her  duties  were  many  and 
important,  she  nursed  her  child  herself.  I  re- 
marked once,  that  I  thought  this  to  be  trouble- 


-•* 


42  NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 

some  and  unfit  for  so  great  a  lady.  I  was  replied 
to  in  this  wise  :  "  For  what  purpose  has  nature 
given  breasts  to  woman  ?  for  the  ornament  of  the 
body  alone,  —  or  for  the  nourishment  of  their 
children  ? " 

The  crown  prince  was  a  child  of  six  years ; 
his  governor  was  the  wisest  tree  in  the  kingdom. 
I  have  seen  an  abstract  of  moral  philosophy  and 
policy,  written  by  him  for  the  use  of  the  prince, 
the  title  of  which  is  Mahalda  Libal  Helit,  which 
in  the  subterranean  language  means,  The  Coun- 
try's Rudder.  It  contains  many  fundamental 
and  useful  precepts,  of  which  I  recollect  the 
following  : 

"  1st.  Neither  praise  nor  blame  should  be  too 
hastily  credited  ;  judgment  should  be  deferred 
until  accurate  knowledge  of  the  matter  is  ob- 
tained. 

"  2d.  When  a  tree  is  accused  of  any  crime,  and 
the  accusation  is  supported,  then  the  life  of  the 
culprit  must  be  examined,  his  good  and  evil  ac- 
tions must  be  compared,  and  judgment  be  given 
according  to  the  preponderance  of  either. 

"  3d.  The  king  must  be  accurately  acquaint- 


-*- 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM.  43 

ed  with  the  opinions  of  his  subjects,  and  must 
strive  to  keep  union  among  them. 

"  4th.  Punishment  is  not  less  necessary  than 
reward.  The  former  restrains  evil ;  the  latter 
promotes  good. 

"  5th.  Sound  reason  teaches  that  especial  re- 
gard should  be  had  to  the  fitness  of  candidates 
to  public  offices ;  but,  though  piety  and  honesty 
go  to  form  the  greatest  merit,  yet,  as  the  appear- 
ance of  these  virtues  is  often  imposed  on  us  for 
the  reality,  no  tree  should  be  severely  judged  till 
he  gets  into  office,  when  he  will  show  himself 
what  he  is. 

"  6th.  To  make  a  treasurer  of  a  poor  man,  or 
a  bankrupt,  is  to  make  a  hungry  wolf  purveyor 
of  the  kitchen.  The  case  of  a  rich  miser  is  still 
stronger;  the  bankrupt  or  the  pennyless  may 
set  bounds  to  their  peculation  ;  the  miser  never 
has  enough. 

"  7th.  When  the  prevalence  of  vice  renders  a 
reformation  necessary,  great  care  and  deliberation 
must  be  used ;  to  banish  at  once,  and  in  a  mass, 
old  and  rooted  faults,  would  be  like  prescribing 
laxative  and  restringent  medicines  at  the  same 
time  to  an  invalid. 


44 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 


"  8th.  They  who  boldly  promise  everything, 
and  take  upon  themselves  many  duties,  are  either 
fools  who  know  not  their  own  powers  or  the 
importance  of  affairs,  or  are  mean  and  unjust 
citizens  who  regard  their  own  and  not  their 
country's  welfare." 


CHAPTER    VIII. 


THE  ACADEMIES  OF  POTU. 


IN  this  kingdom  are  three  academies  ;  one  in 
Potu,  one  in  Keba,  and  one  in  Nahami. 

The  sciences  taught  in  them  are  history,  polit- 
ical economy,  mathematics,  and  jurisprudence. 
Their  theological  creed  is  so  short  that  it  can  be 
written  on  two  pages.  It  contains  this  doctrine 
simply,  that  God,  the  creator  of  all  things,  shall 
be  loved  and  honored ;  and  that  He  will,  in  an 
other  life,  reward  us  for  our  virtues  and  punish 
us  for  our  vices.  Theology  forms  no  part  of  an 
academical  course,  as  it  is  forbidden  by  law  to 


46  NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS   KLIM. 

discuss  these  matters.  Neither  is  medicine  num- 
bered among  the  studies ;  for,  as  the  trees  live 
moderately,  there  is  no  such  thing  as  internal 
disease. 

The  students  ate  employed  in  solving  compli- 
cated and  difficult  questions,  and  he  who  most 
elegantly  and  clearly  explains  his  question,  is 
entitled  to  a  reward.  No  one  studies  more  than 
one  science,  and  thus  each  gets  a  full  knowledge 
of  his  peculiar  subject. 

The  teachers  themselves  are  obliged  to  give, 
each  year,  a  proof  of  their  learning.  The  teach- 
ers of  philosophy  are  required  to  solve  some 
problem  in  morals ;  the  historians,  to  elaborate 
some  passage  in  history ;  the  jurists,  to  elucidate 
some  intricate  point  of  law  ;  these  last  are  the 
only  professors  expected  to  be  good  orators.  I 
told  them  that  the  study  of  rhetoric  was  com- 
mon to  all  students  in  our  colleges,  and  that  all 
studies  were  merged  in  it.  They  disapproved 
of  this,  saying,  that  should  all  mechanics  strive 
to  make  a  masterly  shoe,  the  work  of  most  would 
be  bad,  and  the  shoemakers  alone  would  win  the 
prize.  ;.Vj  ;' 

Besides  these  academies,  there  are  preparatory 


NARRATIVE    OF   NIELS   KLIM.  47 

gymnasiums,  where  great  pains  are  taken  to  dis- 
cover the  bent  of  the  young,  that  they  may  be 
brought  up  in  that  science  to  which  they  are 
best  fitted.  While  I  was  at  the  seminary  of  Ke- 
ba,  the  bishop  had  four  sons  there,  preparing  for 
a  military  course ;  four  others,  whose  father  was 
a  counsellor,  were  learning  mechanical  arts,  and 
two  maidens  were  studying  navigation.  The 
rank  and  sex  of  the  scholars  are  entirely  over- 
looked, in  their  regard  to  fitness  and  pro- 
priety. 

He  who  challenges  another  to  fight,  loses  for- 
ever his  right  to  use  weapons,  and  is  condemned 
to  live  under  guardianship,  as  one  who  cannot 
curb  his  passions  or  temper  his  judgment.  I 
observed  that  the  names  of  parties  who  go  to 
law,  are  kept  secret  from  the  judge,  he  not  being 
an  inhabitant  of  the  place  where  the  trial  is  car- 
ried on.  The  object  of  this  singular  law  is  to 
prevent  all  partiality  and  bribery  on  the  part  of 
the  judge,  by  withholding  from  him  all  knowl- 
edge of  the  influence  or  property  of  the  liti- 
gants. 

Justice  is  executed  without  regard  to  persons. 
The  king,  indeed,  is  not  required  to  appear  in 


48  NARRATIVE   OF   NIELS   KLIM. 

court,  but  after  death,  his  memory  is  put  to  the 
bar  of  public  opinion,  and  his  life  is  vindicated 
or  condemned  through  the  peoples'  advocates. 
This  trial  takes  place  before  the'  Senate,  and 
judgment  is  freely  pronounced  according  to  the 
weight  of  the  evidence.  A  herald  proclaims 
the  decision,  which  is  inscribed  on  the  king's 
monument.  The  words  used  in  these  trials  are : 
Praiseworthy,  —  good,  —  not  bad,  —  moderate, 
—  tolerable.  Sentence  must  be  pronounced  by 
one  of  these  words. 

The  Potuans  give  the  following  reason  for 
this  custom.  The  living  king  cannot  be  brought 
to  justice  without  causing  rebellion.  As  long  as 
he  lives,  the  people  owe  to  him  blind  obedience 
and  constant  reverence.  But  when  the  king  is 
dead,  the  bond  between  them  is  dissolved,  and, 
his  memory  belonging- to  them,  they  are  bound 
to  justify  it  as  his  virtues  and  vices  principally 
affected  themselves. 

The  Potuanic  annals  show  that  for  centuries 
only  one  king  has  received  the  last  degree  of 
judgment  —  tolerable  —  or,  in  their  tongue  :  Rip- 
fac-si.  This  was  King  Miklcta.  Although  the 
Potuans  are  well  versed  in  arms,  and  defend 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 


49 


themselves  bravely,  when  attacked,  they  never 
make  war  on  others. 

But  this  king  excited  by  a  miserable  desire  to 
extend  the  borders  of  his  empire,  entered  into  an 
offensive  war  with  his  neighbors,  and  subdued 
many  of  them. 

The  Potuans  gained,  indeed,  in  power  and 
wealth,  but  they  suffered  more  from  the  loss  of 
friendship  and  the  increase  of  fear  and  envy  in 
the  conquered.  The  honorable  regard  for  justice 
and  equity,  to  which  they  had  hitherto  owed 
their  prosperity  and  supremacy,  began  from  that 
time  to  fade.  On  the  death  of  Mikleta,  howev- 
er, the  people  recovered  from  their  folly,  and 
showed  their  regret  for  it,  while  at  the  same 
time  they  regained  the  good  will  of  their  neigh- 
bors, by  putting  a  blot  upon  the  memory  of  their 
ruler. 

But,  to  return  to  myself.  I  took  but  little 
pleasure  in  associating  with  my  companions,  a 
set  of  absurd  trees,  who  constantly  ridiculed  me 
for  my  quick  perception. 

This  quality,  I  have  already  said,  I  was  blam- 
ed for,  very  early  in  my  career ;  but  by  learned 

trees,  with   grave   and   dignified  complaisance. 
5 


50 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 


These  sapplings,  on  the  contrary,  pestered  me 
with  silly  nicknames.  For  example,  they  took 
a  malicious  delight  in  calling  me  Skabba,  which 
means  an  untimely  or  unripe  thing. 


CHAPTER   IX. 


THE  JOURNEY  AROUND  THE  PLANET  NAZAR. 


I  HAD  now  performed  the  toilsome  duties  of  a 
courier  for  two  years,  having  been  every  where 
with  orders  and  letters.  I  was  tired  of  this 
troublesome  and  unbecoming  business.  I  sent 
to  the  king  petition  after  petition,  asking  for 
my  discharge,  and  soliciting  for  a  more  honora- 
ble appointment.  But  I  was  repeatedly  refused, 
for  his  majesty  did  not  think  my  abilities  would 
warrant  promotion.  He  condescended  to  refer 
me  to  the  laws  and  customs,  which  allowed 
those  only  to  be  placed  in  respectable  and  im- 


52  NARRATIVE    OF   NIELS    KLIM. 

portant  offices,  who  were  fitted  for  them  by 
talent  and  virtue.  It  was  necessary,  he  con- 
tinued, that  I  should  remain  where  I  was,  till  I 
could,  by  my  merits,  pave  my  way  to  distinction. 
He  concluded  thus : 

Study  to  know  yourself,  is  wisdom's  rule ; 
The  wise  man  reasons,  —  blunders,  still,  the  fool. 
Strive  not  with  feeble  powers  great  weights  to  move, 
Before  your  shoulders  long  experience  prove. 

I  was  thus  obliged  to  remain,  as  patiently  as 
I  could,  in  my  old  service,  amusing  myself  in 
thinking  how  to  bring  my  talents  to  the  light. 
In  my  continual  journeys  about  the  country,  I 
studied  the  nature  of  the  people,  the  quality  of 
the  soil ;  and,  in  short,  became  accurately  ac- 
quainted with  every  thing  worthy  of  observa- 
tion. That  I  might  not  forget  any  thing,  I  used 
myself  to  write  notes  of  each  journey.  These 
notes  I  enlarged  afterwards,  as  well  as  I  could, 
and  was  thus  enabled  to  deliver  to  the  king  a 
volume  of  considerable  size. 

I  soon  observed  that  this  work  was  far  from 
being  displeasing  to  his  majesty.  He  read  it 
through  with  attention,  and  then  recommended 
it  to  the  senate  with  much  ceremony.  It  was 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 


53 


soon  determined  that  I  should  be  made  use  of 
to  discover  and  make  known  whatever  there  was 
of  interest  throughout  the  planet.  Truly  !  I 
expected  some  other  reward  for  my  sleepless 
nights  and  laborious  days,  than  still  greater  bur- 
thens, still  heavier  travail.  But  I  could  only  in 
silence  sigh  with  the  poet : 

"  Alas  !  that  Virtue  should  be  praised  by  all,  — 
Should  warm,  with  its  mild  beams,  all  hearts  : 
Yet  mock  and  freeze  its  owner." 

However,  as  I  have  always  had  a  great  desire 
to  see  and  hear  every  thing  new,  and  expected, 
withal,  a  magnificent  reward  from  the  really 
kind-hearted  king  on  my  return,  I  set  about  this 
work  with  a  kind.of  pleasure. 

Although  the  planet  Nazar  is  but  about  six 
hundred  miles  in  circumference,  it  seems,  to  the 
trees,  of  vast  extent,  principally  on  account  of 
their  slow  movement.  No  Potuan  could  go 
round  it  in  less  time  than  two  years,  whereas,  I,  i 
with  my  long  legs,  could  traverse  it  easily  in 
two  months. 

I  set  out  on  this  journey  in  the  Poplar  month. 

Most  of  the  things  which  I  shall  now  relate, 
are  so  curious,  that  the  reader  may  be  easily 


\\ 

n.tr 


\ 


54  NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 

brought  to  believe  them  to  be  written  from  mere 
whim,  or  at  least  to  be  poetical  contrivance. 
The  physical  and  moral  diversities  are  so  many 
and  so  great,  on  this  planet,  that  a  man  who  has 
only  considered  the  difference  between  the  anti- 
podal nations  of  the  earth,  can  form  but  a  faint 
idea  of  the  same.  It  must  be  observed  that  the 
nations  of  Nazar  are  divided  by  sounds  and  seas, 
and  that  this  globe  is  a  kind  of  Archipelago. 

It  would  be  wearisome  to  relate  all  my  ad- 
ventures, and  I  shall  limit  my  remarks  to  those 
people  who  seemed  to  me  the  most  remarkable. 

The  only  things  which  I  found  in  common 
with  all,  were  figure  and  language.  All  were 
trees.  But  in  customs,  gestures,  and  sense,  so 
great  was  the  diversity,  that  each  province  ap- 
peared like  a  new  world. 

In  duamso,  the  province  next  to  Potu,  the 
inhabitants  are  entirely  oak  trees.  They  know 
not  of  bodily  weakness  or  disease,  but  arrive  in 
perfect  and  continued  health  to  a  very  great  age. 
They  seem  to  be  the  most  fortunate  of  all 
creatures ;  but  I  found,  after  some  intercourse 
with  .them,  that  this  assumption  was  a  great 
mistake.  Although  I  never  saw  any  of  them 


NARRATIVE   OF   NIELS   KLIM. 


55 


sad,  yet  none  appeared  to  be  happy.  The 
purest  heaven  is  never  impressive,  but  after  a 
storm  ;  so  happiness  is  not  appreciated  by  these 
oaks,  because  it  is  never  interrupted ;  they  bless 
not  health,  because  they  are  never  sick.  They 
spend  their  lives  in  tame  and  uninterrupted 
indifference.  Possessed  of  little  politeness  and 
goodness  of  heart,  their  conversation  is  cold  and 
cheerless;  their  manners  stiff  and  haughty. 
Without  passions,  they  are  crimeless;  without 
weakness,  they  are  pityless. 

Those  alone  to  whom  pain  and  sickness  bring 
the  remembrance  of  their  mortality,  learn  in 
their  own  sufferings,  to  sympathise  with  and 
compassionate  the  woes  of  others. 

I  was  now  in  a  land,  where  I  had  a  living 
proof  of  how  much  the  occurrence  of  pain  and 
the  fear  of  death  tend  to  produce  mutual  love 
and  cheerful  converse  among  fellow  beings. 
Here,  for  the  first  time,  I  came  to  know  the 
folly  and  sin  of  grumbling  at  the  Creator,  for 
bringing  upon  us  trouble  and  suffering,  which 
are  really  good  for  us,  and  which  produce  the 
happiest  consequences. 

The   province    Lalak,    which   is    sometimes 


I 


56  NARRATIVE    OF   NIELS    KLIM. 

called  Maskatta,  or  the  Blessed  Land,  was  the 
next  in  the  order  of  my  journey.  This  land  is 
very  appropriately  named.  All  things  spring 
forth  spontaneously : 

Here,  between  melon  vines  and  moist  strawberry, 

Flow  milky  brooks  and  amber  streams  of  mead  ; 
There,  luscious  wine,  from  chrystal,  spouts  more  merry, 

As  Bacchus  from  his  slumber  had  been  freed. 
Far  down  along  the  mountain's  verdant  side, 

The  limpid  juice,  with  golden  lustre,  ripples. 
In  dales,  soft  undulating,  oozing  glide 

Sweet  waters,  out  of  teeming  nature's  nipples  ; 
And  trees  of  Paradise  their  branches  reach, 

Bending  with  purple  plum  and  mellow  peach. 
From  all  the  land  nutricious  savors  rise, 

To  bless  its  sons,  then  mount  to  scent  the  skies. 

These  advantages  do  not,  by  any  means, 
make  the  inhabitants  happy.  It  occurred  to  me, 
that  laborers  in  harsher  climates  are  much  better 
off  than  these  people,  who  necessarily  languish 
in  idleness  and  luxury. 

Next  to  Lalak  is  Mardak,  inhabited  by 
cypresses.  Of  these  are  different  descents  or 
races,  determined  by  the  number  or  shape  of 
their  eyes.  Here  is  a  list  of  the  varieties  : 

Nagiri,  who  have  oblong  eyes ;  to  whom  all 
objects  appear  oblong. 


NARRATIVE    OF   NIELS   KLIM.  57 

Naquire,  whose  eyes  are  square. 

Pal  am  pi,  who  have  very  small  eyes. 

Jaraku,  with  two  eyes,  which  are  turned  in 
opposite  directions. 

Mehanki,  with  three  eyes. 

Panasuki,  with  four  eyes. 

Harramba,  whose  eyes  occupy  the  whole 
forehead ;  and  finally, 

Skodolki,  who  have  a  single  eye  in  the  neck. 

The  most  numerous  and  powerful  of  these 
races,  are  the  Nagirians.  Kings,  senators  arid 
priests  are  always  chosen  from  this  class.  None 
are  admitted  to  any  office,  but  those  who 
acknowledge  and  testify  by  oath,  that  a  certain 
table,  dedicated  to  the  sun  and  placed  in  the 
temple,  is  oblong.  This  table  is  the  holiest 
object  of  mardakanic  worship.  The  oath,  to 
be  taken  by  aspirants  to  honors,  is  as  follows  : 

"  Kaki  manaska  quihampu  miriac  jakku,  mes- 
imbrii  caphani  crukkia,  manaskar  quebriac  kru- 
sondora." 

In  English : 

"  I  swear,  that  the  holy  table  of  the  sun 
seems  oblong  to  me,  and  I  promise  to  remain  in 
this  opinion  until  my  last  breath." 


58  NARRATIVE    OF   NIELS   KLIM. 

When  the  neophyte,  of  either  class,  has  sworn 
this  oath,  he  is  taken  up  among  the  Nagirians, 
and  is  qualified  for  any  office.  On  the  day  after 
my  arrival,  as  I  walked  in  the  market-place,  I 
met  a  party  bearing  an  old  man  to  the  whipping 
post.  I  asked  them  the  nature  of  his  offence, 
and  was  told  that  he  was  a  heretic,  who  had 
publicly  declared  that  the  holy  table  of  the  sun 
appeared  square  to  him. 

I  immediately  entered  the  temple,  being 
curious  to  know  whether  or  not  my  eyes  were 
orthodox.  The  table  was  certainly  square  to 
my  view,  and  I  said  so  to  my  landlord,  on  my 
return.  This  tree,  who  had  been  recently  ap- 
pointed a  church-warden,  drew  a  deep  sigh  on 
this  occasion,  and  confessed  that  it  also  seemed 
square  to  him,  but  that  he  dared  not  express 
such  an  opinion,  openly,  from  fear  of  being 
ejected  from  office,  if  not  worse. 

Trembling  in  every  joint,  I  quietly  left  this 
region,  fearful  that  my  back  might  suffer  on 
account  of  my  heterodox  vision. 

The  duchy  of  Kimal  is  considered  the 
mightiest  and  richest  of  the  states  on  this 
planet.  There  are  numberless  silver  mines 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM.  59 

within  its  borders :  the  sand  of  its  rivers  is 
colored  by  gold,  and  its  coasts  are  paved  with 
pearl  oysters  of  the  finest  water. 

The  people  of  this  province,  nevertheless,  are 
more  miserable  than  those  of  any  other  I 
visited.  They  are  miners,  gold-strainers  and 
pearl-divers,  condemned  to  the  most  infamous 
slavery,  drenched  in  water,  or  secluded  from  air 
and  light,  and  all  for  the  sake  of  dear  gain. 
How  strange  and  senseless  is  the  lust  for  brilliant 
baubles ! 

The  possessors  of  wealth  are  obliged  to  keep 
a  continual  watch  over  their  property,  for  the 
land  is  full  of  robbers.  None  can  travel  without 
an  armed  retinue.  Thus,  this  people,  on  which 
their  neighbors  look  with  longing  eyes,  should 
deserve  pity  rather  than  excite  envy.  Fear, 
mistrust  and  jealousy  rage  in  all  hearts :  each 
regards  his  neighbor  as  an  enemy.  Sorrows  and 
terrors,  sleepless  nights,  pale  faces  and  trembling 
hands  are  the  fruits  of  that  very  wealth,  which 
.  their  neighbors  look  upon  as  the  greatest  good. 

My  wanderings  through  Kimal  were  the  most 
unpleasant  and  dangerous  in  all  my  experience. 
My  course  was  towards  the  east.  I  journeyed 


60  NARHATIYE    OF   NIELS   KLIM. 

among  many  people,  who  were  generally  polite 
and  social,  but  whose  customs  were  not  sin- 
gular enough  to  merit  particular  attention.  I 
had  much  cause  to  wonder,  when  I  came  among 
the  Q,uambojas,  in  whom  nature  was  entirely 
perverted.  The  older  these  people  grow,  the 
more  lustful  they  become.  Rashness,  lascivious- 
ness  and  roguery  increase  with  years.  None  are 
suffered  to  hold  offices  after  the  fortieth  year. 
At  this  age,  the  wildness  and  moral  insensibility 
of  boyhood  begins ;  the  sports  of  childhood, 
only,  are  tolerated.  The  tree  becomes  a  minor, 
and  is  placed  under  the  guardianship  of  his 
younger  relations. 

I  did  not  think  it  advisable  to  remain  long  in 
Gluamboja,  where  in  a  few  years,  I  should  be 
sentenced  to  become  a  child  again. 

I  witnessed  a  perversion  of  a  different  kind  in 
Kokleku.  In  the  former  province,  nature  is  the 
agent  of  this  perversion ;  here  the  law  is  the 
agent.  The  Koklekuans  are  juniper  trees. 

The  males  alone  cook  and  perform  all  domes- 
tic duties.  In  time  of  war,  they  serve  in  the 
army,  but  always  in  the  ranks.  To  the  females, 
are  entrusted  all  civil,  divine  and  military  offices. 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM.  61 

The  females  reason  thus :  The  males  are  en- 
dowed with  greater  bodily  strength,  and  greater 
powers  of  endurance  ;  therefore,  it  is  clear  that 
nature  intended  them  to  do  all  the  work.  But 
this  will  keep  them  so  busy,  that  they  will  not 
have  time  to  think.  Moreover,  as  continual 
physical  labor  degrades  the  mind,  if  they  should 
presume  to  think,  their  thoughts  would  be 
puerile,  and  practically  useless.  Therefore,  it 
is  plain,  that  to  the  females  belongs  the  direction 
of  affairs.  The  lady  of  the  house  may  be  found 
in  the  study  with  books  and  papers  about  her, 
while  the  master  is  in  the  kitchen  cooking  and 
washing. 

I  saw  many  mournful  effects  of  this  incon- 
sistent custom. 

In  other  places,  females  are  to  be  found,  who 
bring  their  chastity  to  market  and  trade  with 
their  charms.  Here  the  young  males  sell  their 
nights,  and  for  this  end  congregate  in  certain 
dwellings,  before  which  signs  are  hung  out. 
When  these  males  get  to  be  too  troublesome, 
they  are  punished  as  prostitutes  are,  elsewhere. 
Females  stroll  about  the  streets,  beckon  to  the 
men,  stare  at  them,  whistle  and  cry  psh !  to 


62  NARRATIVE    OF   NIELS   KLIM. 

them ;  chuckle  them  under  the  chin  and  do  all 
manner  of  tricks,  without  the  least  sense  of 
shame.  These  females  boast  of  their  victories, 
as  dandies,  with  us,  plume  themselves  on  their 
intimacy  with  ladies,  whose  only  favor  may 
have  been  a  sharp  box  on  the  ear.  None  are 
here  blamed  for  besieging  a  young  male  with 
love  letters  and  presents.  But  a  young  fellow 
would  be  looked  upon  as  having  outraged  all 
decency,  should  he  stammer  out  a  faint  yes,  to 
the  first  entreaty  of  a  young  female. 

At  the  time  I  was  in  the  country  a  terrible 
commotion  arose  on  account  of  the  violation  of 
a  senator's  son  by  a  young  virgin.  She  was 
generally  condemned  for  this  high-handed  and 
abominable  action.  The  friends  of  the  youth 
insisted  that  she  should  be  prosecuted,  and  if  the 
crime  were  proved,  sentenced  to  mend  the  young 
fellow's  honor  by  marrying  him,  especially  as 
it  could  be  sworn  to  that  he  had  lived  a  pure 
and  virtuous  life  till  this  libertiness  had  seduced 
him. 

Blessed  Europe  !  I  exclaimed  on  this  occa- 
sion ;  thrice  blessed  France  and  England  ! 
where  the  names  —  weaker  sex  —  frail  vessels 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 


63 


—  are  no  idle  names :  —  where  the  wives  are  so 
entirely  subjected  to  their  husbands  that  they 
seem  to  be  rather  machines  or  automatons  than 
creatures  endowed  with  free  will  and  noble 
aspirations ! 

The  most  splendid  building  in  Kokleku  is  the 
Queen's  harem,  in  which  three  hundred  beauti- 
ful young  fellows  are  shut  up  for  life.  So  jeal- 
ous is  the  queen,  that  no  female  is  allowed  to 
approach  the  walls  within  one  hundred  yards. 
Never  beholding  any  of  their  race  but  the  queen 
and  a  few  dried-up  and  ugly  spinsters,  the  poor 
creatures  vegetate,  mindless  and  joyless. 

Having  heard,  accidentally,  that  my  form  had 
been  praised  in  the  presence  of  the  queen,  I  has- 
tily escaped  from  this  unnatural  and  execrable 
land: 

—  Fear  to  my  feet  gave  wings. 

Continuing  my  course  still  to  the  east,  I  came 
to  the  philosophical-land,  as  its  inhabitants,  who 
are  principally  engaged  in  the  study  of  philoso- 
phy and  the  sciences,  vain-gloriously  call  it.  I 
had  long  and  earnestly  wished  to  see  this  land, 
which  I  enthusiastically  ascribed  to  be  the  seat 
of  the  muses. 


64  NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 

I  hurried  on  with  all  possible  celerity.  But 
the  roads  were  so  full  of  stones,  holes  and  bogs, 
that  I  was  delayed,  besmirched,  and  bruised. 
However,  I  endured  these  troubles  patiently, 
anticipating  the  delights  that  awaited  me,  and 
well  knowing  that  the  path  to  paradise  is  not 
over  roses.  When  I  had  struggled  onward  for 
an  hour  I  met  a  peasant,  of  whom,  after  saluting 
him,  I  demanded  how  far  distant  the  borders  of 
Maskattia  were  ?  "You  should  rather  ask,"  he 
replied,  "  how  far  you  must  go  back  ;  — for  you 
are  now  in  the  very  middle  of  it !  " 

In  great  astonishment  I  asked,  "  How  is  it, 
that  a  land  inhabited  by  pure  philosophers, 
should  appear  like  the  abode  of  wild  animals  and 
ignorant  barbarians  ?  "  "  Indeed,"  said  the  peas- 
ant, "  It  would  look  better  if  the  people  could 
find  time  to  attend  to  such  trifles.  At  present 
they  must  be  excused,  for  they  have  higher  and 
nobler  things  in  their  heads :  they  are  now  specu- 
lating about  the  shortest  road  to  the  sun.  No- 
body can  blow  and  swallow  at  the  same  time." 

I  understood  the  meaning  of  the  cunning 
peasant,  and  left  him,  after  getting  the  direction 
to  the  capital  city,  Casea.  Instead  of  guards 
* 


NARRATIVE  OF  NIELS  KLIM.  65 

and  the  usual  collection  about  the  gates  of  a 
large  town,  hens  and  geese  strutted  about  at  their 
ease :  in  the  crevices  of  the  gate  hung  birds- 
nests  and  cobwebs. 

In  the  streets  philosophers  and  swine  were 
mingled  together,  and  both  classes  being  alike 
filthy,  they  were  only  to  be  distinguished  from 
each  other  by  form. 

The  philosophers  wore  a  kind  of  cloak,  of  the 
color  of  which  I  should  not  dare  to  give  an  opin- 
ion, so  thick  was  the  dirt  upon  them.  I  was 
run  into  by  one  of  these  wise  men,  who  seemed 
to  be  enraptured  by  some  speculation. 

"  I  beg  pardon,  master  of  arts !  "  I  exclaimed, 
"  may  I  ask  of  you  the  name  of  this  town  ? " 
He  stood  for  some  time  immovable,  with  closed 
eyes ;  then  recovering  somewhat  from  his  trance, 
and  rolling  his  eyes  upwards,  he  muttered :  "  We 
are  not  far  from  noon  !  " 

This  untimely  answer,  which  betrayed  a  per- 
fect insensibility,  convinced  me  that  intelligence 
resulting  from  methodical  and  practical  study  is 
preferable  to  the  torpid  insanity  incident  to  much 
learning. 

I  went  on,  hoping  to  meet  with  some  sensible 

, 6* 

•*- 


66  NARRATIVE  OF  NIELS  KLIM. 

animal,  or  any  body  rather  than  a  philosopher. 
In  the  market-place,  —  a  very  extensive  square, — 
were  a  great  many  statues  and  pillars,  covered 
with  inscriptions. 

I  approached  one  of  them  to  get.  if  possible, 
the  meaning  of  the  characters.  While  engaged 
in  spelling  tire  words,  my  back  suddenly  became 
warm,  and  immediately  after  I  felt  warm  water 
trickling  down  my  legs.  I  turned  round  to  dis- 
cover the  fountain  of  the  stream,  and,  lo !  an 
abstracted  philosopher  was  performing,  at  ease 
on  my  back,  the  same  operation  that  the  dogs 
do  against  the  study. 

This  infamous  trick  excited  my  wrath,  and  I 
gave  him  a  severe  blow. 

The  philosopher  regained  his  wits  at  this,  and 
seizing  me  by  the  hair,  dragged  me  around  the 
market-place.  Our  struggles  soon  brought  us 
both  to  the  ground.  Then  a  multitude  of  phi- 
losophers came  running  towards  us,  and  having 
dragged  me  from  under  my  opponent,  beat  me 
with  their  sticks  till  I  became  senseless.  I  was 
then  carried  to  a  large  house  and  thrown  into 
the  middle  of  the  hall.  I  now  recovered  in  a 
measure  from  my  ill  treatment. 
•*• — 


NAREATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 


67 


On  seeing  this,  the  wise  man  who  first  in- 
sulted me,  recommenced  to  beat  me,  notwith- 
standing my  prayers  for  mercy.  I  now  learned 
that  the  intensity  of  no  anger  can  be  compared 
to  the  philosophical ;  and  that  the  teachers  of 
virtue  and  moderation  are  not  called  upon  to 
practise  the  same.  The  longer  my  oppressor 
beat  me,  the  more  did  his  blood  boil.  At  last 
there  came  into  the  hall  four  sophists,  whose 
cloaks  proclaimed  them  to  be  of  a  different  class 
from  my  late  tyrants.  They  had  some  compas- 
sion for  me,  and  soothed  the  rage  of  the  others. 
I  was  taken  to  another  house,  and  right  glad  was 
I  to  escape  the  hands  of  the  bandits,  and  get 
among  honest  people. 

I  related  to  my  protectors  the  cause  of  the 
calamity.  They  laughed  heartily  at  the  whole 
matter,  and  then  explained  to  me  that  the  phi- 
losopher, absorbed  in  deep  thought,  had  mistaken 
me  for  a  pillar  before  which  it  is  customary,  on 
certain  natural  occasions,  to  stop. 

Just  when  I  supposed  myself  in  safety.  I  near- 
ly gave  up  the  ghost  from  fear.  I  was  led  into 
a  dissecting  room,  filled  with  bones  and  dead 
bodies,  the  stench  from  which  was  intolerable. 


68  NARRATIVE    OF   NIELS   KLIM. 

After  languishing  in  this  disgusting  den  for 
half  an  hour,  the  lady  of  the  house  brought  in 
my  dinner,  which  she  had  prepared  herself.  She 
was  very  polite  and  amiable  ;  but  looked  at  me 
closely,  and  sighed  continually.  I  asked  the 
reason  of  her  sorrow.  She  answered,  "  that  she 
became  sick  when  she  thought  of  what  I  was  to 
suffer." 

"  You  have,  indeed,"  she  said,  "  come  among 
honest  people,  for  my  husband,  who  lives  in  this 
house,  is  a  doctor  of  medicine,  and  the  others 
are  his  colleagues :  but  your  uncommon  figure 
has  awakened  their  curiosity,  and  they  have  de- 
termined to  take  your  internal  structure  into  close 
consideration.  In  fine,  they  intend  to  cut  you 
up,  in  the  hope  of  finding  some  new  phenomena 
in  anatomy."  I  was  thunder-struck  at  hearing 
these  tidings.  I  cried  out  indignantly  : 

"How  can  people  be  called  honest,  madam ! 
who  entertain  strangers  only  to  cut  them  up  ?  " 

"  You  should  stick  your  fingers  in  the  ground," 
she  replied,  "  and  smell  the  land  you  have  got 
into  !  "  I  begged  her  with  tears  in  my  eyes  to 
intercede  for  me.  She  answered,  "  My  interces- 
sion would  be  of  no  service  to  you  :  but  I  will 


NARRATIVE  OF  NIELS  KLIM.  69 

endeavor  to  save  you  by  other  means."  She 
then  took  my  hand,  carefully  led  me  out  by  a 
back  door,  and  guided  me  to  the  city  gate. 

Here  I  would  have  taken  leave  of  my  kind 
and  gentle  guide  ;  but  while  manifesting  my 
gratitude  in  the  most  lively  expressions,  she  sud- 
denly interrupted  my  speech  and  signified  her 
intention  not  to  leave  me  till  I  should  be  in  per- 
fect safety.  She  would  not  be  persuaded  to  re- 
turn. We  walked  on  together.  Meanwhile 
she  entertained  me  with  just  and  sensible  re- 
marks on  the  customs  and  follies  of  the  people. 
Afterwards  she  turned  the  discourse  to  more 
delicate  matters.  We  were  at  some  distance 
from  the  city.  My  soft  companion  adverted  to 
the  danger  from  which  she  had  saved  me,  and 
suddenly  demanded  of  me,  in  return,  a  politeness 
which  was  morally  impossible. 

She  told  me  with  much  feeling  and  warmth 
of  the  unfortunate  fate  of  females  in  this  land : 
—  that  the  philosophers,  entirely  absorbed  by 
their  speculations,  and  buried  among  their  books, 
neglect  to  an  alarming  extent,  the  duties  of  mar- 
riage. "  Yes,"  she  continued,  "  I  can  swear  to 
you,  that  we  should  be  wholly  undone  if  some 


70  NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 

polite  traveller  did  not  occasionally  take  pity  on 
our  miserable  condition,  and  mitigate  our  tor- 
ments. 

I  pretended  not  to  understand  her  meaning, 
and  showed  the  usual  common-place  and  com- 
placent sympathy. 

But  my  coolness  was  as  oil  to  the  flame.  I 
increased  my  pace.  The  poor  lady,  whose  heart 
had  hitherto  been  subjected  to  the  sweet-smiling 
goddess,  now  changed  to  a  fury. 

I  fled  from  my  new  danger.  Fear  and  length 
of  legs  enabled  me  to  outstrip  her.  Mingled 
with  her  shrieks,  opprobrious  epithets  fell  fast  ; 
the  last  I  could  distinguish  were  :  Kaki  Spalaki  : 
—  ungrateful  hound ! 

I  passed  on  to  other  provinces,  in  which  I 
found  but  little  uncommon  and  peculiar. 

I  now  thought  that  I  had  seen  all  the  wonders 
of  Nazar.  But  when  I  came  to  the  land  of  Cabac, 
more  curious  and  more  incredible  things  were 
disclosed  to  my  gaze.  Among  the  Cabacans 
there  is  a  certain  class  without  heads.  These 
are  born  without  that  appendage.  They  speak 
through  a  hole  in  the  middle  of  the  breast.  On 
account  of  this  natural  defect,  they  are  generally 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM.  71 

excluded  from  offices  where  brains  are  thought 
to  be  useful.  They  are  notwithstanding  a  ser- 
viceable class :  the  most  of  them  are  to  be  seen 
at  court  j  being  gentlemen  of  the  bed-chamber, 
stewards  of  the  household,  keepers  of  the  ha- 
rem, &c. 

Beadles,  vestry-clerks  and  such  brainless  offi- 
cers are  chosen  from  this  class. 

Occasionally  one  of  them  is  taken  up  into  the 
senate,  either  by  the  particular  favor  of  govern- 
ment, or  through  the  influence  of  friends.  This 
is  done,  generally,  without  injury  to  the  coun- 
try ;  for  it  is  well  known  that  the  business  of 
the  country  is  carried  on  by  a  few  senators,  and 
that  the  rest  are  only  useful  to  fill  the  seats,  and 
agree  and  subscribe  to  the  determinations  of  the 
leaders. 

The  inhabitants  of  the  two  provinces,  Cam- 
bara  and  Spelek,  are  all  lime  trees.  But  their 
resemblance  ends  in  form.  The  Cambarans  live 
only  about  four  years.  The  Spelekians,  on  the 
other  hand,  attain  to  the  wonderful  age  of  four 
hundred  years. 

In  the  former  place,  the  people  have  their  full 
growth  a  few  weeks  after  birth,  and  finish  their 
#- 


72  NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS   KLIM. 

education  before  the  first  year.  During  the  three 
remaining  years  they  prepare  for  death.  The 
province  appeared  to  be  a  true  Platonic  republic, 
in  which  all  the  virtues  reached  to  their  perfec- 
tion. The  inhabitants,  on  account  of  their  short 
lives,  are,  as  it  were,  continually  on  the  wing. 
They  regard  this  life  as  a  gate  through  which 
they  hastily  pass.  Their  hearts  are  fixed  on  the 
future  rather  than  on  the  present.  They  may 
be  called  true  philosophers,  for  they  care  not  for 
luxury  and  pleasure,  but  strive  through  fear  of 
God,  virtuous  actions,  and  clear  consciences,  to 
make  themselves  worthy  of  eternal  happiness. 
In  a  word,  this  land  seemed  to  be  the  habitation 
of  saints  and  angels  ;  — the  only  school  of  virtue. 

I  was  here  brought  to  think  of  the  unreasona- 
bleness of  those  who  grumble  at  the  shortness  of 
life, — those  quarrellers  with  providence!  Life 
can  be  called  short  when  passed  in  luxury  and 
idleness.  The  shortest  life  is  long  when  it  is 
well  employed. 

In  Spelek,  on  the  contrary,  all  the  vices  com- 
mon to  erring  creatures  seem  to  be  congregated. 
The  people  have  only  the  present  in  their  minds, 
for  the  future  has  no  sensible  vanishing  point- 


NARRATIVE  OF  NIELS  KLIM.  73 

Sincerity,  honesty,  chastity  and  decency  have 
taken  flight  to  give  place  to  falsehood,  lascivious- 
ness,  and  bad  manners. 

I  was  happy  to  get  away  from  this  province, 
although  I  was  obliged  to  traverse  desolate  and 
rocky  regions  which  lay  beyond  it.  These 
deserts  separate  Spelek  from  Spalank,  or  the 
"Innocent  Land." 

This  name  is  obtained  from  the  meekness  and 
innocence  of  the  inhabitants.  These  are  all 
stone  oaks,  and  are  thought  to  be  the  happiest 
of  all  sensible  beings.  They  are  not  subject  to 
any  agitation  of  mind,  and  are  free  from  all 
vices. 

Free,  of  compulsion  ignorant,  did  all  obey 
The  simple  rules  of  nature.     Justice  easy 
And  virtue  unadorned  they  practised ;  for  unknown 
Were  punishment  and  fear.     On  no  holy  stone 
Were  menaces  engraved  :  no  holy  table 
Declared  the  thunders  of  the  law.     None  trembled 
At  the  ruler's  frown  or  nod  :  but,  without  guard,  — 
With  sharpened  steel  on  shoulder  ready  poised, — 
Or  castled  wall  bristling  with  murder's  tools, 
Were  all  ranks  safe.     On  no  battle-field 
Was  victor  crowned  or  bloody  altar 
Heaped  with  his  kinsmen's  corpses. 

With  sports 

And  pleasant  tales,  in  infant  innocence  they  lived 
(The  innocence  that  lies  in  mother's  lap  unstained.) 
7 


74  NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 

Thus  passed  they  from  the  fond  embrace  of  peace, 
With  easy  change  to  Death's  determined  grasp. 

When  I  came  to  this  province,  I  found  that 
the  reputation  which  these  people  had  gained, 
namely :  that  they  practised  virtue  from  inclina- 
tion rather  than  from  the  authority  of  law  — 
was  well  founded. 

But  as  envy  and  ambition  were  entirely  un- 
known to  them,  —  the  inducements  to  excel, 
and  the  will  for  great  things  were  wanting. 

They  had  no  palaces,  no  courts,  no  fine  build- 
ings. They  had  no  magistrates  Jo  administer 
law ;  no  avarice  to  carry  them  to  court.  In  fine, 
although  without  vices,  they  knew  nothing  of 
the  arts.  —  of  splendid  virtues. — nor  of  any  of 
the  things  which  refine  a  people.  They  ap- 
peared to  be  rather  an  oak  forest  than  a  sensible 
and  thoughtful  nation. 

I  travelled  next  through  the  province  Kiliak. 
The  natives  of  this  province  are  born  with  cer- 
tain marks  on  their  foreheads,  which  point  out 
how  long  they  will  live.  At  first  I  imagined 
these  people  to  be  happy,  as  death  could  never 
overtake  them  unexpectedly,  nor  tear  them  away 
in  the  midst  of  their  sins.  But  as  each  one 


NARRATIVE  OF  NIELS  KLIM.  75 

knows  on  what  day  he  shall  die,  it  is  usual  to 
postpone  repentance  till  the  last  hour.  They 
only  are  really  pious  who  begin  to  sing  their 
death  song. 

I  saw  several  move  about  the  streets  with 
drooping  heads  and  miserable  looks  —  the  signs 
upon  their  foreheads  proclaimed  their  speedy 
dissolution. 

They  counted  their  remaining  hours  and  min- 
utes upon  their  fingers,  and  regarded  with  horror 
the  rapidity  of  time. 

The  Creator's  wisdom  and  goodness  to  us  in 
this  respect  became  obvious  to  me  in  this  land. 
I  could  no  longer  doubt  that  it  is  better  for  us  to 
be  ignorant  of  the  future. 

From  Kiliak  I  sailed  over  a  black  sound  to 
the  kingdom  of  Askarak ;  there  new  wonders 
greeted  me.  While  in  Cabac,  people  are  to  be 
seen  without  heads,  here,  on  the  contrary,  indi- 
viduals come  into  the  world  with  seven  heads. 
These  are  great  universal  geniuses.  In  former 
times,  they  were  worshiped  with  almost  divine 
veneration,  and  were  made  senators,  chief  magis- 
trates, &c.  As  they  had  as  many  plans  and  ex- 
pedients as  heads,  they  executed  with  zeal  and 


76  NARRATIVE  OF  NIELS  KLIM. 

rapidity  many  different  things,  and  while  the 
government  was  in  their  hands,  there  was  noth- 
ing left  unchanged. 

But  as  they  made  several  sets  of  ideas  effec- 
tive at  once,  it  happened,  very  naturally,  that 
these  ideas  came  in  contact  with  each  other.  At 
last,  they  mingled  together  so  intricately,  that 
the  seven-headed  geniuses  could  not  discriminate 
in  from  out.  The  affairs  of  government  became 
so  disordered  that  centuries  were  required  to 
restore  them  to  the  simplicity  from  which  these 
all-knowing  magistrates  had  brought  them. 

A  law  had  been  established,  before  I  went 
there,  by  which  all  seven-headed  people  were 
excluded  from  important  offices,  and  the  admin- 
istration of  government  was  given  to  simple  and 
ordinary  persons,  that  is,  persons  with  but  one 
head. 

The  many-headed  now  occupy  the  same 
places  as  the  headless  of  Cabac. 

Beyond  Askarak,  and  separated  from  it  by  ex- 
tensive deserts,  lays  the  Duchy  of  Bostanki. 
The  Bostankins  resemble  the  Potuans  in  their 
external  form.  Their  internal  construction  is 
very  singular.  The  heart  is  placed  in  the  right 


NARRATIVE    OF    MELS    KLIM.  77 

leg  ;  so  that  it  may  be  literally  said  of  them, 
that  their  hearts  are  in  their  breeches. 

They  are  notorious  for  being  the  greatest  cow- 
ards among  all  the  inhabitants  of  Nazar. 

Angry,  from  faintness  and  fatigue,  I  came  to 
a  tavern  near  the  city  gates.  I  could  not  abstain 
from  growling  at  the  landlord  because  he  could 
not  provide  what  I  called  for.  The  poor  fellow 
fell  on  his  knees  before  me,  begged  my  pardon 
amid  tears  and  groans,  and  held  his  right  leg  to- 
wards me  that  I  might  feel  how  his  heart  beat. 

At  this  I  laughed,  and  almost  forgot  to  be 
angry.  I  wiped  the  tears  from  the  poor  sinner's 
eyes,  and  told  him  not  to  be  afraid.  He  rose  up, 
kissed  my  hand,  and  went  out  to  prepare  my 
food.  Not  long  after,  I  heard  lamentable  cries 
and  howls  in  the  kitchen.  I  hastened  thither, 
and  to  my  great  astonishment,  saw  the  humble 
and  trembling  Monsieur  poltroon  engaged,  very 
valiantly,  in  beating  his  wife  and  servant  girls. 
When  he  perceived  me  he  took  to  flight.  I 
turned  to  the  weeping  wife  and  girls  and  de- 
manded what, could  have  excited  such  terrible 
anger  in  my  lamb-like  host.  They  stood  for 

some  time,  silently,  with  their  eyes  fixed  on  the 

7* 


78  NARRATIVE   OF   NIELS   KLIM. 

ground.  At  length,  the  wife  replied  in  the  fol- 
lowing words :  "  You  do  not  seem,  dear  stranger ! 
to  have  much  knowledge  of  human  nature.  The 
citizens  of  this  place,  who  dare  not  look  at  an 
armed  enemy,  and,  at  the  least  noise,  creep  like 
mice  into  holes,  hector  in  the  kitchens,  and  ty- 
rannize over  us  feeble  women." 

Thoroughly  disgusted  by  the  mean  and 
cowardly  spirit  of  this  people,  I  hired  a  boat 
to  go  to  Mikolak.  On  landing  I  missed  my 
outer  coat,  which  I  recollected  to  have  put  in 
the  boat  at  starting.  After  quarrelling  a  long 
time  with  the  boatman,  who  denied  all  knowl- 
edge of  it,  I  went  to  a  magistrate,  and  related 
the  whole  matter  to  him.  I  asserted  that  I  had 
at  least  a  right  to  demand  my  own  property,  if  I 
could  not  sue  at  law  one  with  whom  I  had  en- 
trusted my  goods. 

The  boatman  still  denied  the  theft,  and  re- 
quired that  I  should  be  punished  for  wrongly 
accusing  him.  In  this  doubtful  case,  the  court 
demanded  witnesses.  This  demand  I  could  not 
answer,  but  proposed  that  my  opponent  should 
take  oath  on  his  innocence. 

At  this  proposal  the  judge  smiled  and  said : 


NARRATIVE  OF  NIELS  KLIM.          79 

"  In  this  land,  my  friend,  there  is  no  weight  in 
religious  confirmation.  The  laws  are  our  gods. 
Proof  must,  therefore,  be  given  in  a  formal  man- 
ner, by  witnesses  or  written  documents.  Who- 
ever cannot  do  this  not  only  lose  their  case,  but 
are  subject  to  punishment  for  malicious  accusa- 
tion. Prove  your  case  by  witnesses,  and  you 
will  get  your  own  again."  I  lost  my  case,  but 
from  regard  to  the  hospitality  due  to  strangers, 
was  not  punished. 

I  had  far  more  reason  to  pity  this  people  than 
to  regret  my  own  loss.  How  weak  is  that, 
society  which  relies  for  its  safety  on  bare  human 
laws.  It  is  like  a  city  built  on  a  volcanic  moun- 
tain !  Little  firmness  has  that  political  structure 
which  rests  not  on  the  foundation  of  religion. 

Leaving  this  atheistic  land,  I  crossed  a  very 
high  mountain  to  Bragmat,  which  lays  in  a  dale 
at  the  foot  of  the  mountain.  The  people  of  this 
city  are  juniper  trees.  The  first  that  I  met 
rushed  towards  me,  and  pressing  with  the  weight 
of  his  body,  felled  me  to  the  ground.  When  I 
demanded  the  reason  of  this  rough  salutation,  he 
begged  my  pardon  in  the  most  polite  and  elegant 
expressions.  A  few  minutes  after,  another  struck 


80  NARRATIVE   OF   NIELS   KLIM. 

me  in  the  side  with  a  hedge-pole,  and  likewise 
excused  his  carelessness  in  a  pretty  speech.  I 
thought  they  must  be  blind,  and  gave  to  all  I 
passed  a  very  wide  berth. 

I  was  afterwards  informed  that  some  among 
them  were  possessed  of  a  very  sharp  sight,  so 
that  they  can  behold  objects  far  beyond  the 
view  of  others,  but  they  could  not  see  what  was 
directly  before  them.  These  sharp-sighted  peo- 
ple are  called  Makkati,  and  are,  most  of  them, 
adepts  in  astronomy  and  transcendental  philoso- 
phy. 

I  passed  through  several  other  provinces,  in 
which  I  found  nothing  worthy  to  be  recorded 
in  this  history  ;  and  returned  to  Potu  after  an 
absence  of  two  months. 

I  entered  the  city  of  Potu  on  the  tenth  day  of 
the  Ash  month.  The  first  thing  I  did  was  to 
deliver  my  journal  to  the  king,  who  ordered  it 
to  be  printed. 

It  must  be  observed  that  the  art  of  printing, 
which  both  the  Europeans  and  Chinese  claim  to 
have  invented,  has  been  well  known  in  Nazar 
for  ages.  The  Potuans  were  so  much  pleased 
with  my  book  that  they  were  never  tired  of 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS   KLIM.  81 

reading  it.  Little  trees  carried  it  about  the 
streets  and  cried  :  "  Court-footman  Skabba's 
Travels  around  the  Globe." 

Puffed  up  by  my  success,  I  now  strove  for 
higher  things,  and  awaited,  somewhat  impa- 
tiently, an  appointment  to  a  great  and  respecta- 
ble office.  My  expectations  not  being  answered, 
I  gave  in  a  new  petition,  in  which  I  eulogized 
my  work  and  claimed  a  suitable  reward  for  my 
uncommon  merit. 

The  mild  and  beneficent  king  was  moved  by 
my  prayers,  and  promised  to  keep  me  in  gracious 
remembrance. 

He  kept  his  promise,  but  not  to  my  liking,  for 
his  grace  consisted  only  in  making  an  addition 
to  my  stipend. 

I  had  pointed  my  nose  another  way,  but  not 
daring  to  press  the  king  with  more  petitions,  I 
made  my  complaint  to  the  great  chancellor. 
This  very  sensible  personage  listened  to  me  with 
his  usual  urbanity,  and  promised  to  serve  me. 
At  the  same  time  he  advised  me  to  abandon  my 
unreasonable  desires,  and  take  a  more  exact  view 
of  my  weak  judgment  and  general  insignificance. 
"Nature,"  he  said,  "has  been  a  step-mother  to 


82  NARRATIVE    OF   NIELS   KLIM. 

you ;  you  want,  altogether,  the  talents  which 
clear  the  road  to  important  offices.  You  must 
creep  before  you  walk  ;  and  it  is  foolish  to  think 
of  flying  without  wings."  He  acknowledged 
my  merits :  "  But,"  he  continued,  "  it  is  not 
such  merits  as  yours  that  will  give  you  admit- 
tance to  State  affairs.  If  all  merit  should  give 
this  right,  then  every  painter  and  sculptor,  this 
for  his  skill  in  carving,  that  for  his  knowledge 
of  colors,  might  demand  a  seat  at  the  council 
board.  Merit  ought  to  be  rewarded,  but  the 
reward  should  be  adapted  to  the  object,  that  the 
State  may  not  suffer." 

This  speech  struck  me,  and  had  the  effect  to 
keep  me  very  quiet  for  some  time.  But  I  could 
not  endure  the  thought  of  growing  grey  in  my 
base  employment.  I  determined  on  the  despe- 
rate attempt,  which  I  had  formerly  considered, 
to  improve  the  constitution,  and  thus,  by  a  bold 
stroke,  to  advance  my  own  and  the  country's 
welfare. 

Shortly  before  my  journey  I  had  strictly  ex- 
amined the  internal  condition  of  the  kingdom, 
to  discover  the  least  failing  in  its  machinery, 
and  the  best  means  to  remedy  it. 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS   KLIM.  83 

In  the  province  Kokleku  I  had  learnt  that  the 
government  waggles  in  which  women  have  a 
part.  For  being  by  nature  vain,  they  strive  to 
extend  their  power  in  every  conceivable  direc- 
tion, and  stop  not  till  they  have  procured  for 
themselves  perfect  and  unlimited  dominion. 

I  concluded,  therefore,  to  propose  the  exclu- 
sion of  the  fair  sex  from  all  public  offices,  and 
trusted  to  get  a  sufficiency  of  voices  on  my  side 
by  placing  the  case  in  its  best  light.  It  seemed 
an  easy  matter,  to  me,  to  convince  the  male  sex 
of  the  dangers  to  which  they  were  exposed,  if 
they  did  not,  in  time,  weaken  this  female  power. 

I  executed  this  plan  with  all  the  art  I  was 
possessed  of,  supporting  it  with  the  most  cogent 
reasons,  and  sent  it  to  the  king. 

He,  who  had  given  me  many  proofs  of  his 
favor,  was  astonished  at  this  miserable  and  im- 
pertinent project,  as  he  graciously  called  it,  and 
said,  that  it  would  fall  out  to  my  destruction. 

But  relying  partly  on  my  reasonings  and  partly 
on  the  support  of  the  whole  male  population,  I 
held  obstinately  to  my  plan.  According  to  law, 
I  was  led  to  the  market-place  with  a  rope  about 
my  neck,  to  await  the  decision  of  the  Council. 


84  NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 

When  the  counsellors  had  given  their  votes,  the 
sentence  was  sent  to  be  subscribed  by  the  king, 
which  being  done,  it  was  publicly  read  by  a 
herald,  as  follows  : 

"  On  mature  consideration  we  adjudge,  that 
the  proposal  made  by  Sr :  Skabba,  first  court- 
footman  to  his  majesty,  to  exclude  the  second 
sex  from  public  offices,  cannot  be  accepted, 
without  affecting  the  peace  and  order  of  the 
kingdom  :  since  the  women,  who  form  the  half 
of  our  population,  would  naturally  be  excited  by 
this  innovation,  and  thereby  become  hostile  and 
troublesome  to  the  government.  Furthermore, 
we  hold  it  to  be  unjust  to  deny,  to  trees  of  ex- 
cellent qualities,  admission  to  offices  of  which 
they  have  hitherto  shown  themselves  to  be  wor- 
thy ;  and  especially  it  is  incredible,  that  nature, 
which  does  nothing  inconsiderately,  should  have 
idly  endued  them  with  superior  and  varied  gifts. 
We  believe  the  welfare  of  the  kingdom  requires 
that  a  regard  should  be  had  to  fitness  rather  than 
to  names,  in  the  disposal  of  offices.  As  the  land 
is  not  seldom  in  need  of  capable  subjects,  we 
pronounce  a  statute  which  should  declare  an  en- 
tire half  of  the  inhabitants,  merely  from  birth, 


NARRATIVE  OF  NIELS  KL1M.  85 

unworthy  of  and  useless  in  affairs,  to  be  deplora- 
ble. 

"  After  grave  deliberation  we  declare  this  to  be 
justice  :  let  the  aforesaid  Skabba,  for  his  no  less 
despicable  than  bold  proposal,  suffer  the  usual 
punishment  in  such  cases." 

The  good  king  took  my  misfortune  to  heart, 
but  did  not  seek  to  change  the  resolution  of  the 
Council.  As  a  matter  of  form  he  signed  the 
warrant  for  my  execution.  Yet  with  his  char- 
acteristic mildness,  and  in  consideration  of  my 
having  been  born  and  educated  in  a  strange 
world,  where  a  quick  and  reckless  head  is  thought 
to  be  a  blessing,  he  commuted  my  punishment 
to  imprisonment  till  the  beginning  of  the  Birch 
month,  when,  with  other  animals,  I  should  be 
banished  to  the  firmament.  When  this  sentence 
was  published,  I  was  sent  to  prison. 


CHAPTER    X. 


THE  VOYAGE  TO  THE  FIRMAMENT. 


TWICE  a  year,  some  very  large  birds,  called 
Kupakki  or  post  birds,  are  wont  to  show  them- 
selves on  the  planet  Nazar. 

They  come  and  go  at  certain  regular  periods, 
which  has  given  rise  to  various  opinions.  Some 
think,  that  insects,  of  which  great  multitudes  ap- 
pear at  the  same  periods,  and  which  the  birds 
are  very  fond  of  eating,  entice  them  down  to  the 
planet.  This  is  my  own  notion.  The  circum- 
stance, that  when  these  insects  disappear,  the 
birds  return  to  the  firmament,  places  the  opinion 


NARRATIVE  OF  NIELS  KLIM.  87 

almost  beyond  all  doubt.  It  is  the  same  instinct, 
which  leads  certain  species  of  birds  on  our  earth 
to  migrate  at  regular  periods. 

Others  believe,  that  these  birds  are  trained 
like  hawks  and  other  birds  of  prey,  to  fetch  booty 
from  other  lands.  This  conjecture  is  grounded 
upon  the  great  care  with  which  they  lay  down 
their  burdens,  when  their  flight  is  finished.  This 
supposition  is  somewhat  strengthened  by  the 
fact,  that  they  become  tame  and  gentle  just  be- 
fore they  begin  their  flight,  suffering  themselves 
to  be  thrown  into  nets,  under  which  they  lie  im- 
movable. Meanwhile  they  are  fed  with  insects 
till  the  regular  period  arrives.  Then  a  long  box, 
just  large  enough  to  hold  a  tree  or  man,  is  fas- 
tened to  a  rope,  which  is  again  tied  to  the  legs 
of  the  bird.  On  the  banishment  day,  food  is 
withheld  from  them,  the  nets  are  raised,  and  the 
kupakkis  wing  their  way  to  the  firmament. 

Two  citizens  of  Potu  had  been  doomed  to 
banishment  with  myself.  One  was  a  metaphy- 
sician, who  had  offended  the  law  by  making 
some  sage  remarks  upon  the  nature  of  spirits ; 
the  other  was  a  fanatic,  who,  by  starting  doubts 
concerning  the  holiness  of  religion  and  the  unit- 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 


ing  force  of  the  civil  law,  was  suspected  to  have 
designed  the  overthrow  of  both.  This  latter 
would  not  regulate  himself  by  the  public  ordi- 
nances, because,  he  said,  all  civil  obedience  was 
inconsistent  with  his  conscience.  Thus  three  of 
us,  namely,  a  project-maker,  a  metaphysician, 
and  a  fanatic,  were,  on  the  first  day  of  the  Birch 
month,  shut  up  in  boxes. 

I  never  knew  what  became  of  my  fellow-suf- 
ferers. As  for  myself,  I  was  enclosed,  with  food 
sufficient  for  a  few  days.  Shortly  after,  my  ku- 
pakki,  finding  nothing  to  eat,  started  off  with 
amazing  speed. 

It  is  generally  believed,  under  ground,  that 
the  distance  between  the  planet  Nazar  and  the 
firmament  is  about  four  hundred  miles.  I  had 
no  means  of  determining  how  long  my  passage 
was,  but  conjectured  it  to  be  about  twenty-four 
hours. 

I  heard  nothing,  during  this  time,  but  the 
heavy  and  monotonous  flapping  of  the  kupakki's 
wings.  At  last,  there  sounded  in  my  ears  a  con- 
founding noise,  which  announced  that  we  could 
not  be  far  from  land. 

I  now  observed  that  the  bird  had  really  been 
4 


NARRATIVE    OF   NIELS   KLIM.  89 

trained,  for  he  set  the  box,  with  so  much  care 
on  the  ground,  that  I  did  not  feel  the  slightest 
jar.  The  box  was  immediately  opened,  and  I 
rose  up  in  the  midst  of  a  great  multitude  of 
monkeys,  who,  to  my  astonishment,  conversed 
together  in  an  intelligent  language  rather  than 
chattered,  and  walked  to  and  fro,  in  measured 
and  dignified  paces.  They  were  dressed  in 
cloths  of  varied  colors.  A  number  of  them 
advanced  towards  me  with  much  politeness,  and 
handed  me  from  the  box. 

They  seemed  to  be  surprised  at  my  figure, 
particularly  when  they  discovered  I  had  no  tail. 
Their  amazement  was  not  at  all  lessened  by  the 
fact,  that  I  resembled  them  (laying  aside  the  tail) 
more  nearly  than  did  any  stranger  they  had 
hitherto  seen. 

At  the  time  of  my  arrival  the  water  was  very 
high,  owing  to  the  nearness  of  Nazar.  This 
planet  has  the  same  effect  upon  the  tides  of  the 
firmament,  as  our  moon  has  upon  those  of  the 
earth. 

I  was  led  to  a  very  large  building,  ornamented 
in  the  richest  style.  The  presence  of  a  guard  at 

the  door  convinced  me  that  it  was  the  residence 

8* 


90  NARRATIVE    OF   NIELS   KLIM. 

of  no  common  monkey.  It  was,  as  I  afterwards 
learnt,  the  residence  of  the  mayor  of  the  mon- 
keys. 

A  number  of  teachers  were  selected  to  instruct 
me  in  their  language. 

In  three  months  I  was  enabled  to  speak  with 
considerable  readiness.  Then  I  expected  to  pro- 
cure for  myself  the  admiration  of  all,  for  my 
prompt  ingenuity  and  superior  memory.  But 
my  teachers  declared  me  to  be  sluggish  and  dull 
of  apprehension,  and  in  their  impatience  often 
threatened  to  abandon  their  charge.  As,  on 
the  planet  Nazar,  I  had  been  ironically  named 
Skabba,  or  the  untimely,  for  my  quick  percep- 
tions, so  here  I  was  called  Kakidoran,  which 
signifies,  idle  and  stupid.  Those  only  are  re- 

Uspected  here,  who  can  comprehend  and  express 
-  any  thing  instantaneously.  I  amused  myself 
during  the  course  of  my  studies  by  walking 
about  the  city,  in  which  I  met  on  all  sides  nota- 
ble signs  of  splendor  and  luxury. 

When  I  had  finished  my  education,  that  is, 
when  I  could  speak  fluently,  I  was  carried  to 
the  capital  city  Martinia,  from  which  the  whole 
country  takes  its  name.  The  object  of  the 


NARRATIVE    OF   NIELS   KLIM.  91 

mayor  evidently  was,  to  insinuate  himself  into 
the  favor  of  a  certain  counsellor,  by  presenting 
to  him  a  strange  and  unprecedented  animal. 

The  government  of  Martinia  is  aristocratical. 
The  state  is  administered  by  a  great  council, 
selected  from  the  body  of  the  old  nobility. 

Before  proceeding  to  the  house  of  the  lord,  to 
whom  I  was  to  be  offered,  the  mayor  led  me  to 
a  hotel,  where  we  could  make  ourselves  present- 
able to  his  excellency.  Several  servants,  called 
maskatti,  or  dressers,  joined  us  for  this  purpose. 
One  took  the  mayor's  sword  to  burnish  it ; 
another  tied  different  colored  bands  to  his  tail. 
I  will  here  remark,  that  nothing  lays  nearer  to  a 
monkey's  heart  than  the  adornment  of  his  tail. 

When  my  conductor  was  polished,  dressed 
and  adorned,  we  departed  for  the  president's 
palace,  followed  by  three  servants. 

On  coming  to  the  entrance,  the  mayor  loosed 
his  shoes,  that  he  might  not  soil  the  marble 
floor.  After  waiting  for  a  long  time,  with  not  a 
little  impatience,  we  were  suffered  to  enter  the 
reception  hall.  Here  the  president  sat  in  a 
golden  chair. 

As  soon  as  he  saw  us,  the  president  burst  out 


92  NARRATIVE    OF   NIELS   KLIM. 

in  a  terrific  laugh.  I  concluded  either  that  he 
was  seized  by  delirium,  or  that  silly  and  insane 
laughter  was  a  peculiarity  of  great  people  in 
Martinia.  In  short,  I  took  his  lordship  to  be  a 
fool. 

I  afterwards  expressed  this  opinion  to  the 
mayor;  but  he  assured  me  that  the  president 
was  a  monkey  of  remarkable  natural  powers  ; 
that  his  mind  was  so  comprehensive,  that  he  not 
only  determined  matters  of  the  highest  impor- 
tance at  table,  with  his  glass  in  hand,  but  even 
wrote  or  dictated  a  new  statute  between  the 
courses. 

His  excellency  tattled  to  me  half  an  hour,  his 
tongue  wagging,  the  while,  with  an  agility  im- 
measurably superior  to  that  of  OUT  European 
barbers. 

Then  turning  to  my  companion,  he  said,  he 
would  take  me  among  his  subordinate  attend- 
ants, since  he  perceived,  from  my  sluggish  dispo- 
sition, that  I  must  have  been  born  in  the  land  of 
stupidity',  where 

Long-eared  mortals,  in  perpetual  fogs, 

Oft  lose  their  way  to  mire  in  horrid  bogs  :  — 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM.  93 

and  consequently  that  I  was  unfit  for  any  office 
of  trust  and  respectability.  "I  have,  indeed," 
urged  the  mayor,  "  observed  a  natural  obtuseness 
in  this  man ;  nevertheless,  when  he  is  allowed 
time  to  think,  he  judges  by  no  means  badly." 

"  Of  what  use  is  that,"  replied  the  president  ; 
"  here  we  need  nimble  officers,  for  the  immense 
diversity  of  our  affairs  does  not  give  us  time  to 
think." 

The  president,  having  spoken  thus,  very 
gravely,  and  carefully  examined  my  body,  and  di- 
rected me  to  lift  a  heavy  weight  from  the  floor. 
Seeing  that  I  did  this  with  ease,  he  remarked : 
"  Nature,  although  she  has  stinted  you  in  the 
faculties  of  the  soul,  has  compensated,  in  some 
measure,  by  granting  to  you  a  degree  of  bodily 
strength." 

I  now  received  orders  to  go  out  and  wait  in 
the  court.  Soon  after  the  mayor  followed,  and 
as  he  passed,  told  me  that  his  excellency  had 
determined  to  include  me  in  his  train. 

I  concluded  from . his  lordship's  undervaluing 
opinion  of  me,  that  rny  situation  could  not  be 
very  elevated ;  still,  I  was  curious  to  know  my 
fate,  and  therefore  asked  the  mayor  if  he  knew 


94  NARRATIVE  OF  NIELS  KLIM. 

what  I  was  to  be  entrusted  with.  The  mayor 
answered  :  "  His  excellency,  with  special  grace, 
has  appointed  you  for  his  chief  porteur,*  with  a 
yearly  pay  of  twenty-five  stercolatus."  (A  ster- 
colatu  is  about  one  dollar  of  our  money. )  "  Fur- 
thermore, he  will  not  require  your  services  for 
any  but  himself  and  her  grace,  his  lady."  This 
answer  was  like  a  thunder-stroke  to  me  ;  but  I 
was  sensible  that  it  was  useless  to  object. 

I  was  carried  to  a  chamber,  where  a  supper  of 
dried  fruits  was  laid ;  after  eating  a  little,  my 
bed  was  pointed  out  to  me. 

I  threw  myself  upon  the  bed,  but  my  mind 
was  so  agitated,  that  I  could  not  for  a  time  clo  se 
my  eyes  in  sleep.  The  pride  and  contempt 
with  which  the  monkeys  regarded  me,  provoked 
me  almost  to  rage.  A  more  than  Spartan  patience 
was  needed  to  listen  with  indifference  to  their 
sneers.  At  last  I  slumbered.  How  long  I 
know  not,  for  in  the  firmament  there  is  no  divis- 
ion of  night  and  day.  It  is  never  dark,  except 
at  a  certain  period,  when  the  planet  Nazar  comes 
between  the  firmament  and  the  subterranean  sun. 

*  A  porteur  is  one  who  carries  his  employer  in  a  chair, 
from  place  to  place. 


NARRATIVE  OF  NIELS  KLIM.  95 

On  awakening,  I  found  at  my  side  a  mean 
looking  monkey,  who  asserted  that  he  was  my 
colleague.  He  had  brought  with  him  a  false 
tail,  which  he  fixed  upon  me,  and  then  tied  to 
it  some  ribbons  of  various  colors.  He  told  me 
that  in  half  an  hour  the  president  would  be  ready 
to  set  out  for  the  Academy,  and  that  I  must  pre- 
pare myself  to  begin  my  duties.  The  ceremony 
of  promoting  a  doctor  was  to  take  place. 

We  bore  the  president  to  the  Academy  in  a 
golden  sedan,  and  were  suffered  to  remain  in  the 
hall  during  the  performance. 

At  the  entrance  of  the  president,  all  the  doc- 
tors and  masters  of  art  rose  and  turned  their  tails 
towards  him.  To  a  dweller  on  the  earth,  such 
salutations  would  probably  have  appeared  un- 
seemly and  ridiculous,  as  such  a  movement  with 
us  is  expressive  of  indifference  or  dislike. 

But  every  land  has  its  own  customs.  I  have 
seen  so  many  strange  ceremonies  and  varied 
usages,  that  I  have  come  to  observe,  rather  than 
laugh  at  them. 

The  act  of  promotion,  on  this  occasion,  was 
performed  with  the  following  ceremonies.  The 
candidate  was  placed  in  the  middle  of  the  hall. 


96  NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 

Then  three  officers,  each  with  a  pail  of  cold  wa- 
ter, approached  him  with  measured  steps.  Each 
in  turn  dashed  his  bucket  of  water  in  the  candi- 
date's face.  The  sufferer  is  obliged  to  receive 
this  bath  without  distorting  his  countenance,  on 
pain  of  forfeiting  his  degree.  Odorous  oils  were 
then  sprinkled  over  him,  and  finally  a  powerful 
vomit  was  given  to  him.  When  this  last  dose 
had  produced  its  usual  effect  upon  the  candidate, 
he  was  pronounced  to  be  a  lawfully  graduated 
doctor. 

I  turned  to  a  learned  doctor,  who  stood  near 
me,  and  humbly  asked  him  the  meaning  of  all  I 
had  seen. 

First  expressing  his  pity  for  my  ignorance,  the 
sneering  pedant  condescended  to  inform  me,  that 
the  ceremony  of  the  water  was  significant  of  the 
preparation  for  anew  course  of  life  and  duty  ;  the 
ointment,  of  elevation  above  the  mass  ;  and  the 
vomit,  of  the  extermination  of  prejudice  and  error. 

I  fancied,  but  I  did  not  say  so,  that  my  digni- 
fied instructor  in  the  mysteries  needed  a  fresh 
vomit. 

The  Martinianic  religion  is  not  at  all  practical. 
There  are  two  hundred  and  thirty  speculations 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 


97 


concerning  j;he  form  and  being  of  God,  and  three 
hundred  and  ninety-six  of  the  nature  and  quali- 
ties of  the  soul.  There  are  many  churches  and 
theological  seminaries,  but  in  neither  is  taught 
the  way  to  live  and  die  well.  The  people  are 
all  critics,  who  go  to  be  amused  by  the  art  and 
delicacy  of  the  holy  teachers.  The  more  ob- 
scure and  involved  the  propositions  of  their 
preachers,  the  more  are  they  praised.  The  Mar- 
tin ians  are  indifferent  to  every  thing  they  can 
easily  understand. 

Martinia  is  the  paradise  of  project-makers. 
The  more  inconsistent  and  useless  a  scheme,  the 
surer  is  it  of  general  approbation. 

When  I  once  spoke  with  an  enthusiastic  mon- 
key, of  the  earth  and  its  inhabitants,  he  fell  upon 
the  notion,  to  bore  through  to  the  surface,  and 
make  a  convenient  and  easy  way  of  communi- 
cation. 

He  prepared  a  long  and  eloquently  worded 
plan  on  this  subject,  which  pleased  and  excited 
every  body. 

A  company  was  formed,  and  named  the  "  Sub- 
terranean Boring  Company ;  "  its  originator,  Hiho 
Pop-coq,  was  made  its  president.  The  stock 


98  NARRATIVE    OF   NIELS   KLIM. 

was  seized  on  with  avidity,  and  the  project  was 
not  abandoned  until  a  multitude  of  families  had 
been  ruined,  and  the  public  affairs  brought  into 
the  greatest  disorder  ;  and  even  then  the  scheme 
was  dropped,  less  from  its  supposed  impractica- 
bility, than  from  the  length  of  time  required  to 
accomplish  it. 

The  author  of  it  was  not  only  left  unpunished, 
but  was  overwhelmed  with  the  general  applause, 
for  the  originality  and  boldness  of  his  attempt. 

The  Martinians  are  used  to  console  them- 
selves on  such  occasions,  by  repeating  the  fol- 
lowing couplet : 

"  The  project  ended  in  defeat ; 
The  notion  was,  however,  neat." 

When  I  had  thoroughly  studied  the  character 
of  this  people,  I  determined  to  take  advantage  of 
their  weaknesses,  and  by  some  outrageous  pro- 
posal, to  gain  their  respect,  and  thereby  better 
my  condition. 

I  revealed  my  intention  to  a  shrewd  old  mon- 
key, who  encouraged  me  in  these  words : 

Who  would  succeed  in  Martianic  land, 
Must  quit  the  useful,  to  propose  the  grand ; 


* 


fc  N 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM.  99 

Hazard  those  deeds,  that  to  the  gallows  pave, 
Thy  fortune's  made !     Here's  honor  for  the  knave. 

After  due  deliberation,  my  choice  became 
fixed  upon  that  ornament  for  the  head,  called 
wigs  by  us. 

I  had  previously  noticed  that  the  land  contain, 
ed  a  multitude  of  goats  ;  with  the  hair  of  these 
creatures  I  proposed  to  manufacture  my  wigs. 

My  step-father  had  been  engaged  in  the  trade, 
and  as  I  had,  with  the  inquisitiveness  of  youth, 
observed  the  process,  I  could  bungle  at  it. 

I  made  a  goafs-hair  wig  for  myself,  and 
adorned  with  it,  presented  myself  to  the  presi- 
dent. 

This  dignitary  was  astonished  at  the  new  and 
uncommon  decoration.  He  seized  it  from  my 
head,  and  placing  it  on  his  own,  hastened  in  a 
very  undignified  manner  to  the  mirror. 

So  enraptured  was  he  at  the  sight  of  the  pom- 
pous protuberance,  that  he  shrieked  out :  "  Divine 
art,  how  like  a  God  am  I !  "  — he  sent  immedi- 
ately for  her  Grace  to  partake  in  his  joy. 

She  was  not  less  pleased  than  her  lord.     She 
embraced  him,  kissed  him,  and  assured  him  that 
she  had  never  seen  him  more  handsome. 
* 


100  NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 

The  president  addressed  himself  to  me  with 
much  less  haughtiness  than  usual.  "  O  Kaki- 
doran !  "  he  exclaimed,  "if  this  discovery  of 
yours  pleases  the  Council  as  well  as  it  does  me, 
your  fortune  is  made.  You  may  hope  for  the 
most  honorable  reward  the  State  can  give." 

I  gracefully  thanked  his  Excellency,  and  im- 
mediately wrote  a  petition,  which  I  requested 
him  to  lay  before  the  Council. 

His  Excellency  took  the  petition  together  with 
the  wig,  and  departed.  I  understood  that  all 
the  cases  which  were  to  come  before  the  Council 
on  this  day,  had  been  laid  aside,  so  inquisitive 
were  all  to  hear  and  examine  my  project.  The 
work  was  accepted,  and  an  appropriate  reward 
was  adjudged  to  me.  I  was  called  up  to 
the  council-chamber ;  on  my  entrance,  an  old 
monkey  stood  up,  and,  after  thanking  me  in  the 
name  of  the  whole  republic,  proclaimed  that  my 
work  should  be  rewarded  as  its  merits  deserved. 
He  then  demanded,  what  length  of  time  I  should 
need  to  fabricate  another  such  head  ornament  ? 
I  replied,  that  it  was  reward  enough  for  me, 
that  my  curious  workmanship  had  gained  the 
approbation  of  the  great  men  who  composed 


•*•- 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS   KLIM.  101 

the  Council ;  for  the  rest,  I  bound  myself  to 
make  another  wig  in  two  days,  and  also  to 
manufacture  wigs  enough  for  the  whole  city 
in  a  month,  provided  I  might  count  upon  the 
assistance  of  a  number  of  monkeys,  accustomed 
to  work.  This  proposal,  however,  made  the 
president  hot  about  the  ears,  and  he  exclaimed 
with  much  eagerness :  "  It  is  not  fit,  my  dear 
Kakidoran,  that  this  ornament  should  be  com- 
mon to  the  whole  town,  for  being  worn  by  all 
without  distinction,  it  will  become  ordinary  and 
vulgar.  The  nobility  must  necessarily  be  dis- 
tinguished from  the  common  people." 

All  the  members  of  the  Council  concurred  in 
his  opinion,  and  the  city  marshal  was  charged  to 
take  heed  that  none  might  wear  wigs,  except 
the  nobility.  This  order  having  been  promul- 
gated, the  citizens  thronged  about  the  council- 
chamber  to  obtain  titles  and  charters,  which 
some  bought  with  their  money  and  others  pro- 
cured through  the  influence  of  their  friends ;  so 
that  in  a  short  time  full  half  the  city  were  made 
nobles.  But  when  petition  after  petition  poured 
in  from  the  provinces,  that  the  like  favor  should 

be  extended  to  them,  the  Council,  being  pos- 
9* 


102  NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KL1M. 

sessed  with  a  righteous  fear  of  riot  and  civil  war, 
finally  determined  to  allow  every  one,  without 
distinction  of  rank,  to  wear  a  wig.  I  thus  had 
the  pleasure  to  see  the  whole  Martinianic  nation 
wigged  before  I  left  that  country.  And,  truly, 
it  can  scarcely  be  imagined  what  a  funny  and 
ridiculous  appearance  the  wigged  monkeys  pre- 
sented !  The  whole  nation  made  so  much  of 
my  project  and  its  accomplishment,  that  a  new 
era  was  established ;  and  from  this  time  the 
wig-age  commenced  in  the  Martinianic  annals. 

In  the  meantime,  I  was  loaded  with  praises 
and  panegyrics,  wrapped  in  a  purple  cloak,  and 
returned  from  the  court-house  in  the  president's 
own  sedan,  the  same  porteur,  who  had  formerly 
been  my  companion,  serving  me  now  as  a  horse. 
From  that  day  I  dined  continually  at  the  table 
of  his  Excellency. 

With  this  glittering  preamble  to  my  fortunes, 
I  commenced  in  earnest  the  work  I  had  prom- 
ised, and  soon  finished  wigs  enough  for  the 
whole  Council ;  and  after  sweating  for  a  month 
—  a  patent  of  nobility  was  brought  to  me, 
couched  in  the  following  words : 

"  In  consideration  of  the  most  excellent  and 

4 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS   KLIM.  103 

very  useful  discovery,  through  which  Kakidoran, 
born  in  Europe,  has  made  himself  worthy  of  the 
gratitude  of  the  whole  Martiniauic  nation,  we 
have  resolved  to  advance  him  to  the  rank  of 
nobility,  so  that  he,  and  all  his  descendants  shall 
be  regarded  as  true  noblemen,  and  enjoy  all  the 
prerogatives  and  rights,  of  which  the  nobility  of 
Martinia  are  in  possession.  Furthermore,  we 
have  determined  to  dignify  him  with  a  new 
name ;  he  shall  therefore  from  this  day,  be  no 
longer  called  Kakidoran,  but  Kikidorian.  More- 
over, since  his  new  dignity  requires  a  richer 
style  of  living,  we  grant  him  a  yearly  pension  of 
two  hundred  patarer.  Given  in  the  council- 
chamber  of  Martinia,  the  fourth  day  of  the 
month  Merian,  under  the  great  seal  of  the 
Council." 

Thus  I  suddenly  became  changed  from  a 
simple  porteur  to  a  respectable  nobleman,  and 
lived  for  a  long  while  in  great  splendor  and 
honor.  When  it  was  known  that  I  was  high  in 
the  favor  of  the  president,  everybody  sought  my 
good  will  and  protection.  It  is  the  fashion 
among  the  poets  of  Martinia  to  panegyrize  the 
tails  of  eminent  monkeys,  as  it  is  with  us  to 
eulogize  the  beauty  of  women.  Several  poets 
commended  the  beauty  of  my  tail,  although  I 


104  NARRATIVE    OF   NIELS   KLIM. 

had  none.  To  say  everything  on  this  subject  in 
a  few  words  —  their  fawning  servility  towards 
me  was  so  extreme,  that  a  certain  man  of  high 
rank  and  station,  did  not  hesitate,  nor  did  he 
feel  himself  shamed,  to  promise  me  that  his  wife 
should  make  herself  agreeable  to  me  in  every 
possible  way,  provided  that  I  would  recompense 
him  by  recommending  him  to  the  president. 

When  I  had  lived  in  this  land  for  the  space  of 
two  years,  at  first  a  porteur  and  latterly  a  noble- 
man, an  incident,  entirely  unexpected,  occurred, 
which  was  nearly  fatal  to  me.  I  had,  up  to  this 
period,  been  in  special  favor  with  his  Excellency ; 
and  her  Grace,  the  president's  lady,  had  evinced 
so  much  kindness  to  me,  that  I  was  regarded  the 
first  among  all  her  favorites.  She  was  distin- 
guished for  her  virtue ;  but,  when  in  the  lapse  of 
time,  I  perceived  one  after  another  ambiguity  in 
her  expressions,  I  began  to  feel  a  kind  of  mis- 
trust, especially  when  I  observed  that 

Sometimes  she'd  smile  with  wanton  grace, 
Then  unto  sudden  tears  give  place, 
While  gazing,  silent,  on  my  face 
With  mild  devotion. 
Her's  all  the  art  of  tenderness, 
That  pleases  while  it  wounds  no  less  : 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM.  105 

Her  breasts,  half-covered,  now  confess 

Their  strange  emotion. 
Then  sighs  that  can  no  reason  find, 
Or  used  to  make  my  reason  blind  :  — 
Her  hands  upon  her  breast  entwined  — 

Ah,  female  charms  ! 
Her  face  would  lose  its  rosy  hue 
For  lily's,  washed  in  morning  dew  ; 
Aurora's  purple  blazed  anew, 

In  love's  alarms. 

My  suspicions  finally  became  certainties,  when 
a  chambermaid  brought  to  me,  one  day,  the 
following  note  : 

11  DEAREST  KIKIDORIAN,  — 

"  The  feeling  which  I  owe  to  my  rank  and 
high  descent,  and  the  modesty  natural  to  my 
sex,  have  until  now  hindered  the  sparks  of 
love  which  have  long  secretly  burned  in  my 
bosom,  from  breaking  forth  in  open  flame :  but 
I  am  weary  of  the  combat,  and  my  heart  can  no 
longer  resist  its  bewitching  enemy.  Have  pity 
for  a  female,  from  whom  only  the  utmost  degree 
of  burning  love  could  have  been  able  to  extort  a 
confession. 

PTARNNSA." 

I  cannot  describe  how  singularly  I  felt  at  this 
entirely  unexpected  declaration  of  love :  but  as  I 


106  NARRATIVE   OP    NIELS    KLIM. 

held  it  far  better  to  expose  myself  to  the  revenge 
of  a  furious  female,  than  to  sin  against  the  order 
of  nature,  by  a  shameful  intimacy  with  a  crea- 
ture that  did  not  belong  to  my  race,  I  immedi- 
ately wrote  an  answer  in  the  following  words: 

"  GRACIOUS  LADY,  — 

"The  constant  favor  his  Excellency,  your 
husband,  has  shown  to  me ;  the  undeserved 
benefits  he  has  bestowed  upon  me ;  the  moral 
impossibility  of  fulfilling  your  gracious  desires ; 
and  many  other  reasons,  that  I  will  not  name, 
move  me  to  submit  to  the  anger  of  my  gracious 
lady,  rather  than  consent  to  an  action  that  would 
stigmatize  me  as  the  most  ungrateful  and  the 
lowest  among  all  two-legged  creatures.  Besides, 
what  is  desired  of  me,  would  be  more  bitter  to 
satisfy  than  death  itself.  This  action,  if  I 
yielded  to  it,  would  effect  the  ruin  and  dishonor 
of  one  of  the  most  respected  families  in  the  State, 
and  my  willingness  would  injure,  before  all 
others,  that  person  who  has  desired  it.  With 
the  most  solemn  and  sincere  assurances  of  grati- 
tude I  must  here  declare,  gracious  lady,  that 
under  no  circumstances  can  I  fulfil  your  wishes 
in  this  respect,  although  to  all  other  commands 
I  promise  a  blind  obedience. 

KlKIDORIAN." 


NARRATIVE    OF   NIELS    KL1M.  107 

Underneath  I  wrote  the  following  admoni- 
tion: 

"  Think  of  this  heavy  sin  ; 

Fly  ere  it  be  too  late  : 
Shall  vice,  the  pander,  newly  in, 

Bow  virtue  to  the  gate  ? 
Let  Cupid  not  ensnare  you  — 

His  cunning  wiles  beware  you, 
The  sweets  of  sin  soon  vanish  — 

Its  pains,  ah  !  who  can  banish." 

This  letter  I  sent  to  the  lady,  and  it  had  the 
effect  that  I  expected  ;  her  love  was  changed  to 
the  bitterest  hatred :  — 

In  vain  her  glowing  tongue  would  vie, 
To  tell  her  frightful  agony. 
Despairing  shame  her  accents  clip  ;  — 
They  freeze  upon  her  snowy  lip. 
No  tears  did  flow ;  such  pain  oft  dries 
The  blessed  current  of  the  eyes  : 
Fell  vengeance  from  her  black  orbs  glanced, 
While  like  a  fury,  she  advanced. 

Nevertheless,  she  restrained  her  fury,  until  she 
recovered  the  love-letter  she  had  written  to  me. 
As  soon  as  she  had  secured  it,  she  hired  some 
persons  to  testify  by  oath,  that,  in  the  absence 
of  his  Excellency,  I  had  attempted  to  violate  her. 
This  fable  was  represented  with  so  much  art 
and  speciousness,  that  the  president  did  not 


108  NARRATIVE    OP    NIELS    KLIM. 

doubt  its  truth,  and  I  was  ordered  to  be  put  in 
prison.  In  this,  my  despairing  condition,  I  saw 
no  other  means  of  deliverance  than  to  confess 
the  crime,  with  which  I  had  been  charged,  and 
supplicate  the  president  for  mercy  :  which  being 
done,  my  life  was  conceded,  but  I  was  doomed 
to  perpetual  imprisonment.  My  charter  of  no- 
bility was  immediately  taken  from  me,  and  I 
was  sent  to  the  galleys  as  a  slave.  My  destina- 
tion was  to  one  of  the  ships  belonging  to  the 
republic,  which  then  lay  ready  to  sail  for  Mez- 
endares,  or  the  Land-of-wonders.  Thence  were 
brought  the  wares  that  Martinia  cannot  produce. 
This  ship,  on  board  of  which  my  evil  fortune 
had  now  cast  me,  was  propelled  both  by  sails 
and  oars  ;  at  each  oar  two  slaves  were  chained : 
consequently  I  was  attached  to  another  unfortu- 
nate. I  was  consoled,  however,  by  the  prospect 
of  a  voyage,  during  which  I  hoped  to  find  new 
food  and  nourishment  for  my  insatiable  inquisi- 
tiveness,  although  I  did  not  believe  all  that  the 
seamen  told  of  the  curious  things  I  should  see. 
Several  interpreters  accompanied  us ;  these  being 
made  use  of  by  the  Mezendaric  merchants  in 
the  course  of  their  commercial  negotiations. 


CHAPTER    XI. 


THE  VOYAGE  TO  THE  LAND-OF-WONDERS. 


BEFORE  I  proceed  to  the  description  of  this 
sea-yoyage,  I  must  first  caution  all  severe  and 
unmerciful  critics  not  to  frown  too  much  at  the 
narration  of  things,  which  seem  to  war  against 
nature,  and  even  surpass  the  faculties  of  faith  in 
the  most  credulous  man.  I  relate  incredible  but 
true  things,  that  I  have  seen  with  my  own  eyes. 
Raw  and  ignorant  ninnies  who  have  never 
started  a  foot  from  their  homes,  regard  every 
thing  as  fable,  whose  equal  they  have  never 
heard  of  or  seen ;  or,  with  which  they  have  not 

10 


110 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 


been  familiar  from  childhood.  Learned  people, 
on  the  contrary,  especially  those  who  have  a 
deep  knowledge  of  natural  history,  and  whose 
experience  has  proved  to  them  how  fruitful 
nature  is  in  changes,  will  pass  a  more  reasonable 
sentence  upon  the  uncommon  things  narrated. 

In  former  days  a  people  were  found  in  Scythia, 
called  Arimasps,  who  had  but  one  eye,  which 
was  placed  in  the  middle  of  the  forehead: 
another  people,  under  the  same  climate,  had  their 
foot-soles  turned  out  backwards,  and  in  Albany 
were  people  born  with  gray  hairs.  The  ancient 
Sanromates  ate  only  on  every  third  day  and 
fasted  the  other  two ;  in  Africa  were  certain 
families  who  could  bewitch  others  by  their  talk  ; 
and  it  is  a  well  known  fact,  that  there  were 
certain  persons  in  Illyria,  with  two  eye-balls  to 
each  eye,  who  killed  people  by  merely  looking 
at  them :  this,  however,  they  could  do,  only 
when  they  were  angry  :  then  their  fierce  and 
scintillating  stare  was  fatal  to  whomever  was 
rash  or  unfortunate  enough  to  meet  it :  on  the 
mountains  of  Hindostan  were  to  be  found  whole 
nations  with  dog's  heads,  who  barked ;  and  others 
who  had  eyes  in  their  backs.  Who  would 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KL1M.  Ill 

believe  this  and  even  more,  if  Pliny,  one  of  the 
most  earnest  writers,  had  not  solemnly  assured 
us,  that  he  had  neither  heard  nor  read  the  least 
hereof,  but  had  seen  it  all  with  his  own  eyes  ? 
Yes,  who  would  have  imagined  that  this  earth 
was  hollow  j  that  within  its  circumference  were 
both  a  sun  and  moon,  if  my  own  experience  had 
not  discovered  the  secret?  Who  would  have 
thought  it  possible,  that  there  was  a  globe, 
inhabited  by  walking,  sensible  trees,  if  the  same 
experience  had  not  placed  it  beyond  all  doubt  ? 
Nevertheless,  I  will  not  pick  a  quarrel  with  any 
one,  on  account  of  his  incredulity  in  this  matter, 
because  I  must  confess,  that  I  myself,  before  I 
made  this  voyage,  mistrusted  whether  these 
tales  might  not  have  arisen  from  the  exagge- 
rated representations  of  seamen,  or  that  they 
were  the  result  of  that  well-known  qualification 
of  this  class  of  men,  familiarly  styled  the  "  spin- 
ning a  yarn." 

In  the   beginning  of  the  month  Radir,   we 
went  on  board  our  ship,  weighed  anchor,  and 

The  wind  in  swelling  sails  embraced  the  bending  masts, 
And,  like  an  arrow  in  the  air,  with  lightning  speed, 
The  keel  shrieked  through  the  foaming  billows. 


112  NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 

The  wind  was  fair  for  some  days,  during 
which  we  poor  rowers  had  a  comfortable  time, 
for  the  oars  were  not  needed ;  but  on  the  fourth 
day  it  fell  calm ; 

The  sails  did  fall :  in  haste  the  seats  were  fixed ; 

With  plashing  stroke,  the  oars  smote  heaven  in  the  waters. 

For  a  long  time  we  met  with  nothing ;  but  as 
soon  as  we  lost  sight  of  land,  strange  figures 
raised  themselves  from  the  quaking  gulph. 
They  were  mermaids,  who,  when  the  weather 
becomes  calm  and  the  billows  rest  themselves, 
rise  to  the  surface  and  swim  towards  any  passing 
ship,  to  ask  for  alms.  Their  language  was  so 
similar  to  the  Martinianic,  that  some  of  our 
sailors  could  speak  with  them  without  an  in- 
terpreter. One  of  these  singular  creatures 
demanded  of  me  a  piece  of  meat ;  when  I  gave 
it  to  her,  she  looked  at  me  steadily  for  a  time, 
and  said  :  you  will  soon  become  a  hero,  and  rule 
over  mighty  nations !  I  laughed  at  this  divina- 
tion, for  I  considered  it  empty  flattery,  although 
the  sailors  swore  to  it,  that  the  mermaids'  pre- 
diction seldom  failed.  At  the  end  of  eight  days 
we  came  in  sight  of  land,  which  the  seamen 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM.  113 

called  Picardania.  As  we  entered  the  harbor,  a 
magpie  came  flying  towards  us,  which,  they  said, 
was  the  custom-house  inspector-general.  When 
this  dignitary  had  flown  thrice  around  the  ship, 
he  returned  to  the  shore  arid  came  back  with 
three  other  magpies :  these  seated  themselves  on 
the  prow  of  the  ship.  I  came  very  near  bursting 
with  laughter,  when  I  saw  one  of  our  inter- 
preters approach  these  magpies,  with  many 
compliments,  and  heard  him  hold  a  long  con- 
versation with  them.  They  had  come  for  the 
purpose  of  examining  our  freight  and  detecting 
any  forbidden  articles  that  we  might  have  con- 
cealed; when  all  was  found  correct,  we  were 
suffered  to  unload.  As  soon  as  this  was  done,  a 
number  of  magpies  flew  to  the  ship,  who  proved 
to  be  merchants.  The  captain  then  went  ashore, 
accompanied  by  myself  and  two  monkeys, 
namely,  our  supercargo  and  an  interpreter ;  after 
clearing  the  ship  and  disposing  of  the  cargo,  we 
returned,  and  shortly  set  sail. 

In  three  days  we  reached  Music -land.  After 
casting  anchor,  we  went  on  shore,  preceded  by 
one  of  the  interpreters,  who  carried  a  bass-viol 

in  his  hand.     As  we  found  the  whole  country 
10* 


114  NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 

about  us  empty  and  desolate,  discovering  no 
where  any  trace  of  living  creatures,  the  captain 
ordered  a  trumpet  to  be  sounded,  to  inform  the 
inhabitants  of  our  arrival.  Before  the  echoes  of 
the  blast  from  the  trumpet  had  subsided,  (and 
they  seemed  to  penetrate  farther  and  reverberate 
longer  than  usual  from  the  perfect  stillness  of 
this  apparently  void  region,)  about  thirty  musical 
instruments  came  hopping  towards  us.  These 
were  bass-viols.  On  the  very  long  neck  of  each 
was  placed  a  little  head;  the  body  was  also 
small,  and  covered  by  a  smooth  bark,  which, 
however,  did  not  close  entirely  around  the  frame, 
but  was  open  in  front  and  disposed  loosely  about 
them.  Over  the  navel,  nature  had  built  a  bridge, 
above  which  four  strings  were  drawn.  The 
whole  machine  rested  on  a  single  leg,  so  that 
their  motion  was  a  spring  rather  than  a  walk. 
Their  activity  was  very  great,  and  they  jumped 
with  much  agility  over  the  fields.  In  short,  we 
should  have  taken  them  for  musical  instruments, 
as  their  general  appearance  purported,  if  they 
had  not  had  each  two  arms  and  hands.  In  the 
one  hand  was  a  bow,  the  other  was  used  upon 
the  frets.  When  our  interpreter  would  converse 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KL1M.  115 

with  them,  he  put  his  viol  in  its  position,  and 
commenced  playing  an  air.  They  immediately 
answered  him  by  touching  their  strings,  and 
thus  alternating  with  each  other,  a  regular 
musical  conversation  was  carried  on.  At  first 
they  played  only  Adagio,  with  much  harmony ; 
then  they  passed  over  to  discordant  tunes ;  and 
finally  concluded  with  a  very  pleasant  and  lively 
Presto.  As  soon  as  our  people  heard  this,  they 
leaped  and  sung  for  joy,  saying,  that  the  bargain 
for  the  wares  was  now  fixed.  Afterwards  I 
learnt  that  the  Adagio,  they  first  played,  was 
merely  an  opening  or  preface  to  the  conversa- 
tion, and  consisted  only  of  compliments ;  that 
the  discordant  tones  which  followed,  were  bick- 
erings and  disputes  about  prices ;  and,  finally,  that 
the  sweet  sounding  Presto  indicated  that  an 
agreement  had  been  made.  At  the  conclusion 
of  these  negotiations,  the  wares  stipulated  for 
were  landed.  The  most  important  of  these  is 
Kolofonium,  with  which  the  inhabitants  rub 
their  bows  or  organs  of  speech. 

Late  in  the  month  of  Cusan,  we  set  sail  from 
Music-land,  and  after  some  days  sailing  hove  in 
sight  of  a  new  land,  which,  on  account  of  the 


116  NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 

foul  smell  that  reached  our  noses  at  a  great 
distance,  our  seamen  supposed  to  be  Pyglos- 
sia. 

The  inhabitants  of  this  land  are  not  very 
unlike  the  human  race  in  their  general  appear- 
ance ;  the  sole  difference  being,  that  these  people 
have  no  mouth:  they  speak  from  the  face 
which  turns  towards  the  south  when  the  nose 
points  to  the  north.  The  first  of  them  who  came 
on  board,  was  a  rich  merchant.  He  saluted  us 
after  the  custom  of  his  nation,  by  turning  his  back 
towards  us,  and  immediately  began  to  bargain 
with  us  for  our  wares.  I  kept  myself  considera- 
bly remote  during  the  negotiation,  as  neither  the 
sound  nor  the  smell  of  his  speech  pleased  me. 
To  my  great  horror  our  barber  was  taken  sick 
at  this  time,  so  that  I  was  obliged  to  summon  a 
Pyglossian  perfume.  As  the  barbers  here  are 
quite  as  talkative  as  among  us,  this  one,  while 
shaving  me,  filled  the  cabin  with  so  disagreeable 
a  smell,  that,  on  his  departure,  we  were  Obliged 
to  smoke  with  all  the  incense  we  had  on  board. 

We  sailed  hence  to  Iceland.  This  land  con- 
sisted of  desolate  rocks,  covered  by  eternal 
snows.  The  inhabitants  who  are  all  of  ice,  live 
•*- 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM.  117 

here  and  there  in  the  clefts  of  the  rocks  on  the 
tops  of  the  mountains,  where  the  sun  is  never 
seen,  enveloped  by  almost  perpetual  darkness 
and  frost.  The  only  light  they  have  comes 
from  the  shining  rime. 

These  lands,  of  which  I  here  have  given  a 
view,  are  all  subject  to  the  great  emperor  of 
Mezendora  proper,  and  are  therefore  called  by 
seafaring  people  the  Mezendoric  islands.  This 
great  and  wonderful  country,  namely,  Mezen- 
dora, is  the  goal  of  all  extended  voyages.  Eight 
days  sail  from  Iceland  brought  us  to  the  imperial 
residence.  There  we  found  all  that  realized, 
which  our  poets  have  fancied  of  the  societies  of 
animals,  trees  and  plants ;  Mezendora  being,  so 
to  speak,  the  common  father-land  of  all  sensible 
animals  and  plants.  In  this  empire  each  animal 
and  every  tree  can  obtain  citizenship,  merely  by 
submitting  to  the  government  and  laws.  One 
would  suppose,  that,  on  account  of  the  mixture 
of  so  many  different  creatures,  great  confusion 
would  prevail  among  them :  but  this  is  far  from 
the  case.  On  the  contrary,  this  very  difference 
produces  the  most  happy  effects  ;  which  must 
be  attributed  to  their  wise  laws  and  institutions, 


118  NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KL1M. 

decreeing  to  each  subject  that  office  and  employ- 
ment to  which  his  nature  and  special  faculties 
are  best  fitted.  Thus,  the  lion,  in  consideration 
of  his  natural  magnanimity,  is  always  chosen 
regent.  The  elephant,  on  account  of  his  keen 
judgment,  is  called  to  sit  in  the  State-council. 
Courtiers  are  made  of  chameleons,  because  they 
are  inconstant  and  know  how  to  temporize. 
The  army  consists  of  bears,  tigers  and  other 
valorous  animals ;  in  the  marine  service,  on  the 
contrary,  are  oxen  and  bulls ;  seamen  being  gen- 
erally hardy  and  brave  people ;  but  severe, 
inflexible,  and  not  particularly  delicate  in  their 
living,  which  corresponds  very  well  with  their 
element.  There  is  a  seminary  for  this  class, 
where  calves  or  sea-cadets  are  educated  for  sea- 
officers.  Trees,  for  their  natural  discretion  and 
gravity,  are  usually  appointed  judges:  counsel- 
lors are  geese ;  and  the  lawyers  of  the  courts 
in  ordinary  are  magpies.  Foxes  are  generally 
selected  as  ambassadors,  consuls,  commercial- 
agents,  and  secretaries-of-legation.  The  ravens 
are  chosen  for  dealing-masters  and  executors  on 
the  effects  of  those  deceased.  The  buck-goats 
are  philosophers,  and  especially  grammarians, 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM.  119 

partly  for  the  sake  of  their  horns,  which  they 
use  on  the  slightest  occasion,  to  gore  their 
opponents,  and  partly  in  consideration  of  their 
reverend  beards,  which  so  notably  distinguish 
them  from  all  other  creatures.  The  staid  yet 
energetic  horse  has  the  suffrage  for  the  mayor- 
alty and  other  civil  dignitaries.  Estate  owners 
and  peasants  are  serpents,  moles,  rats  and  mice. 
The  ass,  on  account  of  his  braying  voice,  is 
always  the  leader  of  the  church-choir.  Treas- 
urers, cashiers  and  inspectors  are  commonly 
wolves ;  their  clerks,  being  hawks.  The  (roos- 
ters) cocks  are  appointed  for  watchmen,  and  the 
dogs  house-porters. 

The  first  who  came  on  board  of  us,  was  a 
lean  wolf  or  inspector,  the  same  as  a  custom- 
house-officer in  Europe,  followed  by  four  hawks, 
his  clerks.  These  took  from  our  wares  what 
pleased  them  best,  proving  to  us  thereby  that 
they  understood  their  business  perfectly,  and  had 
all  its  appropriate  tricks  at  their  fingers'  ends. 
The  captain  took  me  ashore  with  him.  As 
soon  as  we  had  set  foot  on  the  quay,  a  cock 
came  towards  us,  demanded  whence  we  were, 
the  nature  of  our  cargo,  and  announced  us  to 


120  NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KL1M. 

the  inspector-general.  This  latter  received  us 
with  much  courtesy,  and  invited  us  to  dine  with 
him.  The  mistress  of  the  house,  whom  I  had 
heard  to  be  one  of  the  greatest  beauties  among 
the  female  wolves,  was  not  present  at  the  table : 
the  reason  of  this  was,  as  we  afterwards  learned, 
her  husband's  jealousy,  who  did  not  deem-  it 
advisable  to  allow  such  a  handsome  wife  to  be 
seen  by  strangers.  There  were,  however,  sev- 
eral ladies  at  table  ;  among  others,  a  certain  com- 
modore's wife,  a  white  cow  with  black  spots : 
next  to  her  sat  a  black  cat,  wife  to  the  master  of 
hunt  at  court,  newly  arrived  from  the  country. 
At  my  side  was  placed  a  speckled  sow,  the  lady 
of  a  renovation-inspector  :  that  species  of  officer- 
ship  being  generally  taken  from  the  hog-race. 
It  must  be  observed  that  the  inhabitants  of  the 
Mezendoric  empire,  although  they  are  animals  in 
figure,  have  hands  and  fingers  on  the  fore  feet. 

After  dinner  the  speckled  sow  entered  into 
conversation  with  our  interpreter,  during  which 
she  told  him  that  she  was  overhead  and  ears  in 
love  with  me.  He  comforted  her  in  the  best 
manner  he  could,  and  promised  her  his  support 
and  aid  ;  then  he  turned  himself  towards  me  and 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM.  121 

endeavored  to  persuade  me  to  be  easy  ;  but  when 
he  observed  that  his  flattering  and  arguments 
were  vain,  he  advised  me  to  take  to  flight,  as  he 
knew  that .  this  lady  would  move  heaven  and 
earth  to  satisfy  her  desires.  From  this  time  I 
remained  constantly  on  board ;  but  the  ship 
itself  was  not  a  fortification  sufficiently  secure 
from  the  attacks  of  this  lady,  who  by  messengers 
and  love-letters  strove  to  melt  the  ice  that  sur- 
rounded my  heart.  Had  I  not,  in  the  ship- 
wreck I  afterwards  suffered,  lost  my  papers,  I 
should  now  give  some  specimens  of  the  swine's 
poetry.  I  have  forgotten  it  all,  except  the  fol- 
lowing lines,  in  which  she  praises  her  being 
thus: 

O  them !   for  whom  my  too  fond  soul  most  ardently  doth 

thirst, 

f  For  whom  my  earliest  passion,  in  retirement  I  have  nursed  : 
Think   not  my  figure    homely,   though    it  be   endued    in 

bristles,  — 
What  beauty  hath  the  leafless  tree,  through  which  the  cold 

wind  whistles  ? 
How  unadorned  the  noble  horse,  when  of  his  beauteous 

mane  he's  shorn ! 
0 !  who  would  love  a  purring  cat,  all  in  her  furlessness 

forlorn. 

Ah,  look  around  my  darling  pig  !  look  on  all  living  things, 
11 


122          NAKRATIVE  OF  NIELS  KLIM. 

From  the  huge  unwieldly  mammoth  to  the  smallest  bird  that 

sings ;  — 
Were  these  not  shagged  or  feathered  all,  how  loudly  should 

we  jeer ;  — 
Who  would  warmly  strive  to  please  e'en  man,  were  man 

without  a  beard  ? 

After  our  truck  was  finished  and  a  rich  freight 
stowed  away,  we  sailed  for  home.  We  had 
scarcely  got  into  the  open  sea  when  it  suddenly 
became  calm,  but  soon  after  the  wind  breezed 
up.  Having  sailed  awhile  with  a  good  wind, 
we  saw  again  some  mermaids,  who 

—  dripping  wet 
Shot  forth ,  and  dived  between  the  foaming  waves, 

and  now  and  then  emitted  horrible  shrieks. 
The  sailors  were  much  terrified  at  this,  for  they 
knew  by  experience,  that  these  mournful  sounds 
were  presages  of  storm  and  wreck.  They  had 
scarcely  taken  in  the  sails,  before  the  whole 
heavens  became  veiled  in  black  clouds : 

Day  sinks  in  night :  all  nature  shudders. 
Then,  in  an  instant,  loose  from  every  point 
The  storm,  in  frightful  gusts  and  devilish  uproar 
Breaks ;  the  axis  of  the  globe  grates  fearful,  — 
And  thunders,  clap  on  clap,  resound  the  concave  : 
The  waves,  din-maddened,  tower  to  mountains. 
Wildly,  gone  her  helm,  the  half-crushed  craft 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM.  123 

Tumbles  ungovernable.  Now  despairing  shrieks 
Mingling  with  ocean's  roar  and  crash  of  heaven, 
Rise  from  the  peopled  deck  :  'tis  finished  ! 

Every  movable  thing  on  deck  floated  off,  for 
besides  the  ever-rolling  billows,  an  immense  rain 
fell  in  terrific  water-spouts,  accompanied  by 
thunder  and  lightning.  It  seemed  as  though  all 
the  elements  had  conspired  for  our  destruction. 
During  the  rolling  of  the  ship,?our  masts  were 
carried  away,  and  then  all  hope  of  salvation  was 
gone.  Now  and  then  a  huge  billow  rolled  over 
us,  and  carried  with  it  one  or  two  men  far 
beyond  the  ship.  The  storm  raged  more  and 
more  ;  no  one  cared  longer  for  the  vessel :  with- 
out helm,  without  masts,  without  captain  and 
mates,  who  had  been  washed  overboard,  the 
wreck  lay  at  the  pleasure  of  the  waves.  Having 
floated  thus  for  three  days,  a  bauble  for  the 
storm,  we  finally  descried  a  mountainous  land 
in  the  distance.  While  rejoicing  in  the  hope  of 
soon  reaching  this  haven,  our  vessel  struck  so 
hard  against  a  blind  rock,  that  she  was  instantly 
dashed  in  pieces.  In  the  confusion  and  terror 
of  the  moment  I  got  hold  of  a  plank,  and,  care- 
less for  the  rest,  thought  only  upon  saving 


124  NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 

myself,  so  that  even  now  I  know  nothing  of  the 
fate  of  my  companions.  I  was  quickly  driven 
forth  by  the  billows ;  and  this  was  fortunate  for 
me,  for  otherwise  I  should  have  been  crushed 
among  the  timbers  of  the  ship  or  torn  in  pieces 
by  the  jagged  rocks  upon  which  we  had  been 
cast,  or  escaping  this  should  eventually  have 
perished  from  hunger  and  fatigue.  I  was  wafted 
by  the  waves  within  a  cape,  where  the  sea  was 
calmer,  and  where  the  roaring  of  the  excited 
ocean  sounded  less  frightfully.  When  I  saw 
that  I  was  near  the  shore,  I  began  to  scream 
vigorously,  hoping  to  call  the  inhabitants  to  my 
assistance.  I  soon  heard  a  sound  on  the  sea- 
shore, and  saw  some  of  the  natives  come  from  a 
wood  near  by ;  they  got  into  a  yawl  and  sailed 
towards  me ;  this  boat  being  curiously  fashioned 
of  ozier  and  oak-branches  twisted  together,  I 
concluded  that  this  people  must  be  very  wild 
and  uncultivated.  I  was  heartily  glad,  when  I 
found  them  to  be  men,  for  they  were  the  first 
human  beings  I  had  met  during  the  whole 
voyage.  They  are  very  like  the  inhabitants  of 
our  globe,  who  live  in  hot  climates ;  their  beards 
are  black  and  their  hair  curled ;  the  few  among 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 


125 


them  who  have  long  and  light  hair,  are  consid- 
ered monsters.  The  land  which  they  inhabit  is 
very  rocky :  from  the  curved  ridges  of  the  rocks 
and  the  connecting  tops  of  the  mountains,  which 
cut  the  air  in  multiplied  sinuosities,  every  sound 
reverberates  in  echo  upon  echo  from  the  dates 
below.  The  people  in  the  yawl  approached  the 
plank  upon  which  I  floated,  drew  me  from  it, 
carried  me  to  the  shore,  and  gave  me  to  eat  and 
drink.  Although  the  food  did  not  taste  very 
good,  yet  as  I  had  fasted  for  three  days,  it 
refreshed  me  very  much,  and  in  a  short  time  I 
regained  my  former  strength. 


11* 


CHAPTER    XII. 


THE  AUTHOR'S  ARRIVAL  IN  QUA1A. 


MEANWHILE  a  large  multitude  of  people  col- 
lected around  me  from  all  parts.  They  requested 
me  to  speak ;  but  as  I  did  not  understand  their 
language  I  could  not  answer  them.  They 
repeated  often  the  word  Dank,  Dank,  and  sup- 
posing them  to  be  Germans,  I  addressed  them  in 
this  language,  then  in  Danish,  and  finally  in 
Latin;  but  they  signified  to  me,  by  shaking 
their  heads,  that  these  languages  were  unknown 
to  them.  I  tried  at  last  to  declare  myself  in  the 
subterranean  tongues,  namely,  in  Nazaric  and 
Martini  anic  ;  but  it  was  in  vain. 


•*• 

NARRATIVE    OF   NIELS  *KLIM.  127 

After  having  addressed  each  other,  thus  incom- 
prehensibly for  a  long  time,  I  was  carried  to  a 
small  hut,  formed  of  wickers  intricately  twisted. 
In  this  hut  were  neither  chairs  nor  tables  ;  these 
people  seat  themselves  on  the  ground  to  eat ; 
instead  of  beds  they  spread  straw  on  the  earthy 
floor,  upon  which  they  throw  themselves  inde- 
scriminately  at  night.  Their  food  is  milk,  cheese, 
barley-bread  and  meat,  which  they  rudely  broil 
on  the  coals ;  for  they  do  not  understand  cook- 
ing. Thus  I  lived  with  them,  like  a  dog,  until 
I  learned  so  much  of  their  language,  that  I  could 
speak  with  them  and  assist  them  a  little  in  their 
ignorance.  The  simplest  rules  of  living  that  I 
prepared  for  them  were  considered  as  divine 
commands.  My  fame  soon  spread  abroad,  and 
all  the  villages  around  sent  forth  crowds  to  a 
teacher,  who,  they  believed,  had  been  sent  to 
them  from  heaven.  I  heard  even,  that  some 
had  commenced  a  new  chronology  from  the  date 
of  my  arrival.  All  this  pleased  me  only  so 
much  the  more,  as  formerly  in  Nazar  I  had  been 
abused  for  my  imprudence  and  wavering  judg- 
ment, and  in  Martinia  despised  and  commiserated 
for  my  ignorance.  True,  indeed,  is  the  old 


128  NARRATIVE    OF   NIELS   KLIM. 

proverb ;  that  among  the  blind  the  one-eyed 
rules.  I  had  now  come  to  a  land,  where  with 
little  understanding,  I  could  raise  myself  to 
the  highest  dignities.  There  were  here  the  best 
opportunities  to  employ  my  talents,  since  this 
fruitful  land  produced  in  abundance  whatever 
subserved  for  pleasure  and  luxury  as  well  as  use- 
fulness and  comfort.  The  inhabitants  were  not 
indocile  nor  were  they  wanting  in  conception ; 
but  since  they  had  been  blessed  with  no  light 
without  themselves,  they  groped  in  the  thickest 
darkness.  When  I  told  them  of  my  birth,  my 
native  land,  of  the  shipwreck  I  had  suffered,  and 
of  other  occurrences  in  my  voyages,  not  one 
would  credit  me.  They  thought  rather  that  I 
was  an  inhabitant  of  the  sun,  and  had  come 
down  to  enlighten  them,  wherefore  they  called 
me  Pikil-Su,  that  is  the  sun's  ambassador.  For 
their  religion,  they  believed  in  and  acknowl- 
edged a  God,  but  cared  not  at  all  to  prove  his 
existence.  They  thought  it  enough  for  them 
that  their  forefathers  had  believed  the  same ; 
and  this  blind  submission  to  time-honored  for- 
mulae was  their  simple  and  sole  theology.  Of 
the  moral  law,  they  were  ignorant  of  all  com- 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM.  129 

mandments  save  this :  Do  not  unto  others  that 
which  you  would  not  have  others  do  unto  you. 
They  had  no  laws  ;  the  will  of  the  emperor  was 
their  only  rule.  Of  chronology  they  had  but  a 
slight  conception ;  their  years  were  determined 
by  the  eclipses  of  the  sun  by  Nazar's  interven- 
tion. Were  one  asked  his  age,  he  would  an- 
swer :  that  he  had  attained  so  many  eclipses. 
Their  knowledge  of  natural  science  too,  was 
very  unsatisfactory  and  unreasonable  ;  they 
believed  the  sun  to  be  a  plate  of  gold,  and  the 
planet  Nazar,  a  cheese.  Their  property  con- 
sisted in  hogs,  which,  after  marking,  they  drove 
into  the  woods :  the  wealth  of  each  was  deter- 
mined by  the  number  of  his  swine. 

I  applied  myself,  with  all  the  fervor  imagina- 
ble, to  refine  and  enlighten  this  rude,  yet  prom- 
ising people,  so  that  shortly  I  came  to  be  regarded 
among  them  as  a  saint ;  their  trust  in  my  wisdom 
was  so  great,  that  they  thought  nothing  impossi- 
ble with  me.  Therefore,  when  overtaken  by 
misfortune,  they  would  hasten  to  my  hut  and 
pray  for  my  assistance.  Once  I  found  a  peasant 
on  his  knees  before  my  door,  weeping,  and  bit- 
terly complaining  over  the  unfruitfulness  of  his 


130  NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 

trees,  and  beseeching  me  to  use  my  authority, 
that  his  trees  should  bear  fruit  to  him  abundantly, 
as  of  old. 

I  had  heard  that  this  whole  country  was  gov- 
erned by  a  Regent,  whose  residence,  or  palace,  at 
that  time,  was  about  eight  days'  travel  from  the 
town  where  I  lived.  I  say  at  that  time,  because 
the  court  dwelt,  not  in  substantial,  fixed  houses, 
but  in  tents ;  and  the  residence  was  moved  at 
pleasure  from  one  province  to  another.  The 
ruler  at  that  period  was  an  old  man,  named  Cas- 
ba,  which  signifies,  the  great  emperor.  In  con- 
sideration of  its  many  large  provinces,  this  coun- 
try was  indeed  a  great  empire  ;  but,  from  the 
ignorance  of  the  inhabitants,  who  made  little  use 
of  their  many  natural  advantages,  and  also  from 
the  absence  of  that  unanimity  among  the  prov- 
inces, which  would  have  dignified  and  strength- 
ened their  counsels,  and  subserved  for  their  mu- 
tual protection,  they  were  exposed  to  the  attacks 
and  mockeries  of  their  mere  vigorous  neighbors, 
and  not  unfrequently  obliged  to  pay  tribute  to 
nations  much  inferior  to  themselves. 

The  report  of  my  name  and  power  was 
spread  in  a  short  time  even  to  the  remotest  prov- 


NARRATIVE    OF   NIELS   KLIM.  131 

inces.  Nothing  could  be  done  without  consult- 
ing me,  as  an  oracle,  and  when  any  undertaking 
miscarried,  its  failure  was  ascribed  to  my  indif- 
ference or  indignation  ;  wherefore,  oblations  were 
frequently  made  to  assuage  my  anger.  Finally 
the  rumor  was  carried  to  the  ears  of  the  old  em- 
peror, that  a  great  man  had  come  into  his  domin- 
ions, in  a  strange  dress,  who  gave  himself  out 
as  ambassador  of  the  sun,  and  had  proved  him- 
self more  than  man,  by  bestowing  to  the  Q,uam- 
ites  (thus  the  inhabitants  were  called,  after  the 
name  of  the  land,  Quama,)  wise  and  almost  di- 
vine rules  of  life.  He  therefore  sent  ambassadors, 
with  orders  to  invite  me  to  the  imperial  resi- 
dence. These  were  thirty  in  number,  all  clothed 
in  tiger-skins,  this  dress  being  considered  in  Q,ua- 
ma  the  greatest  of  ornaments,  since  none  were 
permitted  to  wear  it,  but  those  who  had  distin- 
guished themselves  in  war  against  the  Tana- 
quites,  a  nation  of  sensible  tigers,  and  the  mortal 
enemies  of  the  Q,uamites. 

I  had  built,  in  the  town  where  I  dwelt,  a  walled 
house,  after  the  European  style.  At  the  sight  of 
it,  the  imperial  ambassadors  were  astonished,  and 
exclaimed  that  it  was  a  work  beyond  human 


•*•— •*• 

132  NARRATIVE    OF   NIELS   KL7M. 

powers ;  they  entered  it,  as  a  sanctuary,  with 
devout  reverence,  and  there  proclaimed  to  me 
the  emperor's  invitation  in  the  following  speech : 
"  Since  the  great  emperor,  our  most  gracious 
lord,  reckons  his  genealogy  through  manifold 
generations,  from  Spunko,  the  sun's  son,  the  pri- 
mary regent  of  duama,  nothing  could  surprise 
him  more  agreeably  than  this  embassy ;  where- 
fore his  majesty  joyfully  greets  the  ambassador 
of  the  sun,  and  humbly  invites  him  to  the  capi- 
tal city  of  the  empire."  I  answered  by  express- 
ing my  most  humble  thanks  for  the  emperor's 
condescension,  and  immediately  repaired,  with 
the  ambassadors,  to  the  capital.  These  lords 
had  been  fourteen  days  on  their  journey  to  me, 
but  assisted  by  my  genius,  the  return  occupied 
only  four  days. 

I  had  observed,  during  my  residence  in  this 
country,  that  there  were  vast  numbers  of  horses 
running  wild  in  the  woods,  and  hence  rather 
burthensome  than  useful  to  the  inhabitants.  I 
showed  to  the  people  how  beneficial  these  ani- 
mals might  be  made  to  them,  and  taught  them 
how  to  tame  these  noble  creatures.  At  my  sug- 
gestion and  by  my  direction,  a  number  of  them 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM.  133 

were  caught  and  broken  in,  and  thus  I  was  ena- 
bled to  mount  the  ambassadors,  and  materially 
shorten  the  period  of  our  journey. 

No  idea  can  be  formed  of  the  wonder  and 
astonishment  with  which  the  Quamites  wit- 
nessed our  entry  into  the  city ;  some  were  so 
frightened  that  they  ran  far  into  the  country. 
The  emperor  himself  dared  not,  in  his  fear,  come 
out  from  his  tent,  nor  would  he  stir,  until  one  of 
the  ambassadors,  dismounting  his  horse,  went  in 
and  explained  the  whole  secret  to  him.  Shortly 
I  was,  with  a  great  retinue,  led  into  the  imperial 
tent.  The  old  emperor  was  seated  on  a  carpet 
surrounded  by  his  courtiers.  On  my  entrance,  I 
acknowledged,  in  the  most  polite  terms,  the  ex- 
ceeding grace  his  imperial  majesty  had  shown  me  ; 
thereupon  the  emperor  arose  and  asked  me  what 
the  king  of  the  sun,  and  father  of  his  family  pro-  , 
posed  to  do.  Conceiving  it  politic,  and  even 
necessary  not  to  undeceive  the  duamites  in  the 
opinion  they  themselves  first  entertained,  I  an- 
swered :  that  his  majesty,  the  king  of  the  sun, 
had  sent  me  down  to  this  land  to  refine,  by  good 
laws  and  salutary  rules  of  life,  the  uncultivated 
manners  of  the  Quamites,  and  teach  them  the 

12 


134 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 


arts,  through  which  they  might  not  only  resist 
and  repel  their  valiant  and  energetic  neighbors, 
but  even  extend  the  boundaries  of  their  own 
empire  ;  and  added,  that  I  had  been  ordered  to 
remain  with  them  forever.  The  emperor  listen- 
ed to  this  speech  with  much  apparent  pleasure, 
ordered  a  tent  to  be  immediately  raised  for  me 
near  his  own,  gave  me  fifteen  servants,  and 
treated  me  less  as  a  subject  than  as  an  intimate 
friend. 


CHAPTER   XIII. 


THE  BEGINNING  OF  THE  FIFTH  MONARCHY. 


FROM  this  time  all  my  exertions  were  directed 
to  the  accomplishment  of  a  radical  reform 
throughout  the  country.  I  commenced  by  im- 
proving their  mode  of  warfare,  in  exercising  the 
young  men  in  riding,  fencing  and  shooting. 
My  constant  labor  was  rewarded  so  well  that,  in 
a  short  time,  I  exhibited  before  the  emperor  six 
thousand  horsemen. 

At  this  period  the  Tanquites  were  preparing 
for  a  new  attack  upon  the  Qtuamites,  on  account 
of  the  refusal  of  this  latter  people  to  pay  a  yearly 


136  NARRATIVE   OF    NIELS    KLIM. 

tribute  which  had  been  several  times  demanded 
and  as  often  denied.  I  went,  at  the  emperor's 
desire,  with  my  cavalry  and  some  footmen  to 
meet  the  invaders.  To  the  infantry  I  gave 
javelins  and  arrows,  that  they  might  fight  their 
enemies  at  a  distance ;  for  the  Quamites  had 
formerly  used  only  short  swords  or  poignards, 
and  consequently  were  obliged  to  meet  in  close 
combat  their  frightful  foes,  the  Tanaquites,  who 
excelling  them  greatly  in  personal  strength,  had 
great  advantage  over  them.  Hearing  that  the 
enemy  were  approaching  the  boundary,  as  com- 
mander-in-chief,  I  repaired  instantly  towards 
them.  On  meeting  the  invaders  I  caused  the 
footmen  to  attack  them  with  their  javelins  ;  this 
put  them  into  panic  and  flight,  and  determined  the 
fate  of  the  day.  The  enemy  suffered  a  terrible 
defeat  and  the  Tanaquitic  leader,  with  twenty 
other  noble  tigers,  were  taken  prisoners  alive 
and  carried  in  triumph  to  Quama.  It  is  not 
possible  to  describe  the  general  and  tumultuous 
joy  that  filled  the  whole  country  for  this  glorious 
victory ;  because  in  former  wars  the  Quamites 
had  generally  been  obliged  to  lay  down  their 
arms.  The  emperor  commanded  the  prisoners 
. * 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 


137 


to  be  immediately  executed,  according  to  old 
custom ;  but  considering  this  a  horrible  custom, 
I  persuaded  him  to  respite  them,  and  put  them 
in  prison  for  further  deliberation. 

I  had  observed  that  this  land  was  very  rich  in 
saltpetre,  and  had  collected  a  considerable  quan- 
tity for  the  purpose  of  making  powder.  This 
intention  I  had  kept  secret,  however,  from  all 
except  the  emperor,  whose  permission  I  needed 
to  establish  manufactories  for  rifles  and  other 
guns.  With  the  aid  of  these  I  hoped  in  a  short 
time  to  subdue  all  the  enemies  of  the  empire. 
When  I  had  finished  some  hundred  rifles  and 
prepared  balls  suitable  for  them,  I  made  a  trial 
of  my  project  to  the  astonishment  of  all.  A  cer- 
tain number  of  soldiers  were  selected  to  learn 
this  military  art,  and  were  exercised  in  the 
management  of  the  guns.  When  this  body  of 
soldiers  had  become  accustomed  to  the  use  of 
these  new  engines  of  war,  and  could  employ 
them  effectively,  a  review  was  held,  after  which 
the  emperor  proclaimed  me  Jakal,  that  is,  gene- 
ralissimo over  the  whole  army.  While  all  these 
matters  were  pending,  I.  had  entered  into  an 

intimate  friendship  with  the  brave  leader  of  the 
12* 


138  NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 

Tanaquites,  the  imprisoned  Tomopoloko,  with 
whom  I  held  frequent  and  interesting  conversa- 
tions, with  the  object  of  learning  the  constitu- 
tion, character,  and  customs  of  his  nation.  I 
could  not  but  observe,  to  my  great  astonishment, 
that  they  were  a  witty,  moral  and  enlightened 
people,  and  that  the  sciences  were  earnestly  and 
effectively  cultivated  by  them.  The  chief  told 
me,  that  towards  the  east  were  a  valorous  people, 
against  whose  attacks,  the  Tanaquites  were 
obliged  to  keep  themselves  always  prepared. 
The  inhabitants  of  that  country,  he  added,  were 
small,  and  in  reality  much  inferior  in  bodily 
strength  to  those  of  Tanaquis ;  but  being  of 
superior  acuteness  and  agility,  and  excellent 
bowmen,  they  had  in  fact,  often  forced  the 
Tanaquites  to  sue  for  peace. 

I  soon  came  to  know,  that  this  formidable 
nation  consisted  of  cats ;  and  that  they  had 
distinguished  themselves  among  all  the  nations 
under  the  firmament,  for  their  rational  judg- 
ment and  political  acumen.  It  provoked  and 
pained  me  not  a  little,  that  skilfulness,  the 
sciences,  and  polite  manners,  should  be  univer- 
sally among  the  animals  of  the  subterranean 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM.  139 

world,  while  only  real  human  beings,  namely, 
the  Quamites  were  sunk  to  the  profoundest 
depths  of  uncultivated  barbarism.  I  consoled 
myself,  however,  in  the  hope  that,  through  my 
endeavors,  this  shame  would  soon  cease,  and 
the  Qiiamites  would  recover  that  dominion, 
which  belonged  to  them  as  men  over  all  other 
animals. 

Since  their  last  defeat,  the  Tanaquites  kept 
very  quiet  for  a  long  time  ;  but  when  they  found 
out  the  nature  and  condition  of  our  cavalry ; 
when  they  discovered  that  those  centaurs,  who 
had  frightened  them  so  terribly  at  first,  were 
nothing  in  reality,  but  tamed  horses  with  men 
seated  upon  them,  they  took  courage  and  armed 
new  troops  against  the  Quamites,  under  the 
command  of  their  king.  Their  whole  army 
consisted  of  twenty  thousand  tigers,  all  veteran 
soldiers,  heroes  of  many  hard  fought  fields, 
except  two  regiments  of  new  recruits ;  these 
hastily  collected  warriors  were,  however,  more 
formidable  in  name  and  numbers  than  in  service. 
Already  sure  of  victory,  they  fell  at  once  upon 
Q,uama.  I  immediately  ordered  against  them 
twelve  thousand  infantry,  among  whom  were  six 


140-  NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS   KLIM. 

hundred  musketeers,  and  four  thousand  horse- 
men. As  I  had  not  the  slightest  doubt  of  a  for- 
tunate termination  to  this  expedition,  I  requested 
the  emperor  to  take  command  of  it,  and  thus 
reap  the  honor  of  the  victory.  By  this  appear- 
ance of  modesty,  I  lost  no  respect,  for  the  whole 
army  still  considered  me  the  true  leader.  I  first 
directed  my  cavalry  against  the  enemy,  but 
these  were  resisted  with  so  much  vigor,  that 
the  side  of  victory  was  for  a  long  time  doubt- 
ful: at  the  critical  moment,  when  triumph 
was  vacillating  between  the  two  powers,  I 
detached  my  musketeers  from  the  main  body 
and  advanced  upon  the  foe.  The  Tanaquites 
were  much  astonished  at  the  first  shots,  for  they 
could  not  conceive  whence  came  the  thunder 
and  lightning  ;  but  when  they  saw  the  mournful 
effects  of  our  continued  volleys,  they  became 
terrified  ;  at  the  first  discharge  fell  about  two 
hundred  tigers,  among  which  were  two  chaplains, 
who  were  shot  down  while  encouraging  the 
soldiers  to  bravery.  When  I  observed  the  panic 
among  the  enemy,  I  commanded  a  second  dis- 
charge, whose  results  were  more  fatal  than  the 
former ;  their  king  himself  was  shot :  then  the 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM.  141 

Tanaquites  took  to  flight ;  our  cavalry  followed 
them,  and  cut  down  so  many  of  the  flying  multi- 
tude, that  those  in  the  rear  could  not  proceed 
from  the  huge  piles  of  slain  that  covered  the 
way.  When  the  battle  was  over,  we  counted 
the  killed  of  the  enemy  and  found  them  to  be 
thirteen  thousand :  our  own  loss  was  com- 
paratively very  slight.  The  victorious  army 
marched  into  the  kingdom  of  Tanaqui  and  en- 
camped before  its  capital.  The  general  terror 
had  meanwhile  increased  so  much,  that  the 
magistrates  submissively  met  the  conquerors  and 
delivered  the  keys  of  the  city.  The  capital 
surrendering,  the  whole  country  soon  followed 
its  example.  The  disregard  and  contempt  in 
which  the  Quamites  had  to  this  time  been  held, 
were  changed  to  admiration  arid  fear :  the  em- 
pire, with  the  addition  of  the  newly  conquered 
kingdom,  was  extended  to  twice  its  former  size. 
The  glory  of  these  actions  was  with  one  voice 
ascribed  to  my  superior  knowledge  and  untiring 
industry ;  and  the  esteem  which  had  been  long 
cherished  for  me,  now  passed  over  to  a  reverent 
and  divine  worship.  This  period  of  general 
peace  and  exultation,  I  thought  a  fitting  time  to 


142  NARRATIVE    OF   NIELS   KL1M. 

advance  the  civilization  and  refinement  of  the 
Quamites,  and  as  a  practical  commencement  to 
this  great  work  I  ordered  the  royal  Tanaquitic 
library  to  be  moved  to  Q,uama. 

My  curiosity  to  become  acquainted  with  this 
library  had  been  at  first  excited  by  the  impris- 
oned leader  Tomopoloko,  who  told  me  that 
among  its  manuscripts  was  one,  whose  author 
had  been  up  to  our  globe,  in  which  history 
of  his  travels  he  had  described  several  of  its 
kingdoms,  particularly  those  of  Europe.  The 
Tanaquites  had  seized  this  manuscript  during 
one  of  their  predatory  excursions  into  a  distant 
land ;  but  as  the  author  had  concealed  his  name, 
they  knew  not  what  countryman  he  was,  nor  in 
what  manner  he  had  passed  up  through  the 
earth.  The  quaint  title  of  this  book  was : 
"  Tanian's*  Travels  Above-ground  ;  being  a 
description  of  the  kingdoms  and  countries  there, 
especially  those  of  Europe."  From  the  antiq- 
uity of  this  work  together  with  its  great  popu- 
larity, it  had  become  so  ragged,  that  what  I  was 
most  anxious  to  learn,  namely,  the  narration  of 

*  This  name  is  taken  to  be  predicated. 


NARRATIVE    OF   NIELS   KLIM.  ,       143 

the  author's  journey  to  our  earth  and  hie  return, 
was  most  unfortunately  lost.  Here  is  the  con- 
tents of  this  singular  manuscript,  such  as  I  found 
it: 

"  Fragments  of  Tanian's  Diary,  kept  on  a  Voyage  above- 
ground,  Translated  by  his  Excellency,  M.  Tomopoloko, 
General-in-chief,  in  the  Service  of  his  Tanaquitic  majesty." 

******* 
"  This  land  (Germany)  was  called  the  Roman 
empire  ;  but  it  has  been  an  empty  title,  since  the 
Roman  monarchy  was  demolished  several  centu- 
ries since.     The  language  of  this  land  is  not 
to  understand,  on  account  of  its  perverted 
style ;    for,   what  in  other  languages  is  placed 
— Jaefore,  in  this  comes  after,   so  that  the  mean- 
4»g  cannot  be  had  before  a  whole  page  is  read 
through.      The    form   of  government   is  very 
inconsistent  ;°™^°  ftlink  tfj°y  ^B^fl  ft  yeffePt  and 
yet  have  none  ;   it  should  be  an  empire,  yet  it  is 
divided   into    several    duchies,    each    of  which 
lias  its  own  government,  and  often  engages  in  a 
formal  war  with  its  neighbor.     The  whole  land 
is  called   'holy,'   although  there    is  not  to    be 
found  in  it  the  least  trace  of  piety.     The  regent, 
or  more  correctly  the  unregent,  who  bears  the 


144  NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 

name  of  emperor,  is  denominated  '  the  continual 
augmenter  of  his  country,'  although  he  not 
seldom  diminishes  it ;  '  invincible,'  notwithstand- 
ing he  is  often  slain :  sometimes  by  the  French, 
sometimes  by  the  Turks.  One  has  no  less 
reason  to  wonder  at  the  people's  rights  and  liber- 
ties ;  but  although  they  have  many  rights,  they 
are  forbidden  to  use  them.  Innumerable  com- 
mentaries have  been  written  upon  the  German 
constitution,  but  notwithstanding  this,  they  have 
made  no  advance  because 

******* 
"  The  capital  of  this  country  (France)  is 
called  Paris,  and  is  very  large,  and  may  in  a 
certain  degree  be  considered  the  capital  of  all 
Europe ;  for  it  exercises  a  peculiar  law-giving 
power  over  the  whole  continent.  It  has,  for 
example,  the  exclusive  right  to  prescribe  the 
universal  mode  of  dress  and  living  ;  and  no  style 
of  dress,  however  inconvenient  or  ridiculous, 
may  be  controverted  after  the  Parisians  have 
once  established  it.  How  or  when  they  obtained 
this  prescriptive  right  is  unknown  to  me.  I 
observed,  however,  that  this  dominion  did  not 
extend  to  other  things;  for  the  other  nations 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 


145 


often  make  war  with  the  French,  and  not 
seldom  force  them  to  sue  for  peace  on  very  hard 
terms  ;  but  subservience  in  dress  and  living  nev- 
ertheless continues.  In  quickness  of  judgment, 
inquisitiveness  after  news,  and  fruitfulness  of 
discovery,  the  French  are  much  like  the  Mar- 
tinians. 


"  From  Bologna  we  went  to  Rome.  This 
latter  city  is  governed  by  a  priest,  who  is  held 
to  be  the  mightiest  of  the  kings  and  rulers  of 
Europe,  although  his  possessions  may  be  trav- 
elled through  in  one  day.  Beyond  all  other 
regents,  who  only  have  supremacy  over  their 
subjects'  lives  and  goods,  he  can  govern  souls. 
The  Europeans  generally  believe  that  this  priest 
has  in  his  possession  the  keys  of  heaven.  I  was 
very  curious  to  see  these  keys,  but  all  my  en- 
deavors were  in  vain.  His  power,  not  only 
ever  his  own  subjects,  but  the  whole_  human 


^  consists  principally  in  that  he  can  abartbra 

those  whom  God  condemns,  and  condemn,  those 
whom  God  absolves:  an  immense  authority. 
which  the  inhabitants  of  our  subterranean  world 
seriously  believe  is  not  becoming  to  any  mortal 

13 


146  NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 

man.  But  it  is  an  easy  matter  to  induce  the 
Europeans  to  credit  the  most  unreasonable  as- 
sertions, and  submit  to  the  most  high-handed 
assumptions,  notwithstanding  they  consider 
themselves  alone  sensible  and  enlightened,  and, 
puffed  up  with  their  foolish  conceits,  look  con- 
temptuously upon  all  other  nations,  whom  they 
call  barbarous. 

"  I  will  not,  by  any  means,  defend  our  subter- 
ranean manners  and  institutions :  my  purpose 
simply  is,  to  examine  those  of  the  Europeans, 
and  show  how  little  claim  these  people  have  to 
find  fault  with  other  nations. 

"  It  is  customary,  in  some  parts  of  Europe,  to 
powder  the  hair  and  clothes  with  ground  and 
sifted  corn  ;  the  same  which  nature  has  produced 
for  the  nourishment  of  man.  This  flour  is 
called  hair-powder.  It  is  combed  out  with  great 
care  at  night,  preparatory  to  afresh  sprinkling  in 
the  morning.  There  is  another  custom  with 
them,  which  did  not  appear  less  ridiculous  to 
me.  They  have  certain  coverings  for  the  head, 
called  hats,  made  ostensibly,  to  protect  the  head 
from  the  weather,  but  which,  instead  of  being 
used  for  this  very  reasonable  purpose,  are  gen- 

* 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM.  147 

erally  worn  under  the  arm,  even  in  the  winter. 
This  seemed  as  foolish  to  me  as  would  the 
instance  of  one's  walking  through  the  city  with 
his  cloak  or  breeches  in  his  hand ;  thus  expos- 
ing his  body,  which  these  should  cover,  to  the 
severity  of  the  weather. 

"  The  doctrines  of  European  religion  are  ex- 
cellent and  consistent  with  sound  reason.  In 
their  books  of  moral  law  they  are  commanded 
to  read  the  Christian  precepts  often ;  to  search 
into  their  true  meaning,  and  are  advised  to  be 
indulgent  with  the  weak  and  erring.  Neverthe- 
less, should  any  understand  one  or  another  doc- 
trine of  these  books  in  any  but  the  established 
sense,  they  would  be  imprisoned,  lashed,  yes, 
and  even  burned  for  their  want  of  judgment. 
This  seemed  to  me  the  same  case,  as  if  one 
should  be  punished  for  a  blemish  in  sight, 
through  which  he  saw  that  object  scaiare  which 
others  believed  to  be  round.  I  was  told  that 
some  thousand  people  had  been  executed  by 
hanging  or  burning,  for  their  originality  of 
thought. 

"  In  most  cities  and  villages  are  to  be  found 
certain  persons  standing  in  high  places,  who 


148  NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 

animadvert  severely  upon  the  sins  of  others, 
which  they  themselves  commit  daily :  this 
seemed  to  me  as  sensible  as  the  preaching  of 
temperance  by  a  drunkard. 

"In  the  larger  towns,  it  is  almost  generally 
the'  fashion  to  invite  one's  guests,  immediately 
after  meals,  to  imbibe  a  kind  of  sup  made  from 
burnt  beans,  which  they  call  coffee.  To  the 
places  where  this  is  drunk,  they  are  drawn  in  a 
great  box  on  four  wheels,  by  two  very  strong 
animals ;  for  the  higher  classes  of  Europeans 
hold  it  to  be  very  indecent  to  move  about  on 
their  feet. 

"  On  the  first  day  of  the  year,  the  Europeans 
are  attacked  by  a  certain  disease,  which  we 
subterraneans  know  nothing  of.  The  symptoms 
of  this  malady  are  a  peculiar  disturbance  of  the 
mind  and  agitation  of  the  head  ;  its  effects  are 
that  none  can  remain,  on  that  day,  five  minutes 
in  one  place.  They  run  furiously  from  one 
house  to  another,  with  no  appreciable  reason. 
This  disease  continues  with  many  even  fourteen 
days ;  until  at  last,  they  become  weary  of  their 
eternal  gadding,  check  themselves  and  regain 
their  former  health. 


NARRATIVE    Or    NIELS    KLIM.  149 

"  In  France,  Italy  and  Spain,  the  people  lose 
their  reason  for  some  weeks,  in  the  winter 
season.  This  delirium  is  moderated  by  strew- 
ing ashes  on  the  foreheads  of  the  sufferers.  In 
the  northern  parts  of  Europe,  to  which  this 
disease  sometimes  extends,  and  where  the  ashes 
have  no  power,  nature  is  left  to  work  the  cure. 

"  It  is  the  custom  with  most  Europeans,  to 
enter  into  a  solemn  compact  with  God,  in  the  pre- 
sence of  witnesses,  three  or  four  times  a  year, 
which  they  invariably  and  immediately  break. 
This  compact  is  called  '  communion,'  and  seems 
to  have  been  established  only  to  show  that  the 
Europeans  are  used  to  break  their  promises 
several  times  each  year.  They  confess  their 
sins  and  implore  the  mercy  of  God,  in  certain 
melodies,  accompanied  by  instrumental  music. 
As  the  magnitude  of  their  sins  increases,  their 
music  becomes  louder:  thus  fluters,  trumpeters 
and  drummers  are  favorite  helpers  to  devotion. 

"  Almost  all  the  nations  of  Europe  are  obliged 
to  acknowledge  and  believe  in  the  doctrines, 
which  are  contained  in  a  certain  *  holy  book.' 
At  the  south  the  reading  of  this  book  is  entirely 

forbidden ;  so  that  the  people  are  forced  to  credit 
13* 


150  NARRATIVE    OF   NIELS   KLIM. 

what  they  dare  not  read  ;  in  these  same  regions, 
it  is  likewise  austerely  forbidden  to  worship 
God,  except  in  a  language  incomprehensible  to 
the  people  ;  so  that,  only  those  prayers  are  held 
to  be  lawful  and  pleasing  to  God,  which  are 
uttered  from  memory,  without  comprehen- 
sion. 

"  The  learned  controversies  which  occupy  the 
European  academies,  consist  in  the  discussion  of 
matters,  the  development  of  which  is  productive 
of  no  benefit,  and  in  the  examination  of  phe- 
nomena, the  nature  of  which  is  beyond  the 
reach  of  the  human  mind.  The  most  serious 
study  of  a  European  scholar,  is  the  considera- 
tion of  a  pair  of  old  boots,  the  slippers,  necklaces 
and  gowns  of  a  race  long  extinct.  Of  the 
sciences,  both  worldly  and  divine,  none  judge 
for  themselves,  but  subscribe  blindly  to  the 
opinions  of  a  few.  The  decisions  of  these, 
when  once  established,  they  cling  to,  like 
oysters  to  the  rocks.  They  select  a  few  from 
their  number  whom  they  call,  '  wise,'  and 
credit  them  implicitly.  Now,  there  would  be 
nothing  to  object  against  this,  could  raw  and 
ignorant  people  decide  in  this  case ;  but  to 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KL1M.  151 

decide  concerning  wisdom  requires,  methinks,  a 
certain  degree  of  sapience  in  the  judge. 

"  In  the  southern  countries,  certain  cakes  are 
carried  about,  which  the  priests  set  up  for  Gods ; 
the  most  curious  part  of  this  matter  is,  the 
bakers  themselves,  while  the  dough  yet  cleaves 
to  their  fingers,  will  swear  that  these  cakes  have 
created  heaven  and  earth. 

"  The  English  prefer  their  liberty  to  all  else, 
and  are  not  slaves,  except  to  their  wives.  To- 
day they  reject  that  religion,  which  yesterday 
they  professed.  I  ascribe  this  fickleness  to  the 
situation  of  their  country;  they  are  islanders 
and  seamen,  and  probably  become  affected  by 
the  variable  element  that  surrounds  them.  They 
inquire  very  often  after  each  other's  health,  so 
that  one  would  suppose  them  to  be  all  doctors ; 
but  the  question :  how  do  you  do  ?  is  merely  a 
form  of  speech ;  a  sound  without  the  slightest 
signification. 

"  Towards  the  north,  is  a  republic,  consisting 
of  seven  provinces.  These  are  called  '  united,' 
notwithstanding  there  is  not  to  be  found  the 
least  trace  of  union  among  them.  The  mob 
boast  of  their  power,  and  insist  upon  their  right 


152  NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 

to  dispose  of  state  affairs ;  but  no  where  is  the 
commonalty  more  excluded  from  such  matters ; 
the  whole  government  being  in  the  hands  of 
some  few  families. 

"  The  inhabitants  of  this  republic  he-'p  up  great 
riches  with  anxious  and  unwearied  vigilance, 
which,  however,  they  do  not  enjoy :  their  purses 
are  always  full,  their  stomachs  always  empty. 
One  would  almost  believe  they  lived  on  smoke, 
which  they  continually  suck  through  tubes  or 
pipes,  made  of  clay.  It  must,  nevertheless,  be 
confessed,  that  these  people  surpass  all  others  in 
cleanliness ;  for  they  wash  everything  but  their 
hands. 

"  Every  land  has  its  own  laws  and  customs, 
which  are  usually  opposed  to  each  other.  For 
example ;  by  law,  the  wife  is  subject  to  the 
husband ;  by  custom,  the  husband  is  ruled  by 
the  wife. 

"  In  Europe,  the  superfluous  members  of 
society  only  are  respected ;  these  devour  not 
only  the  fruits  of  the  land  but  the  land  itself. 
The  cultivators  of  the  soil,  who  feed  these 
gorges  are  degraded  for  their  industry  and  de- 
spised for  their  usefulness. 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM.  153 

"  The  prevalence  of  vice  and  crime  in  Europe 
may  perhaps  be  fairly  inferred  from  the  great 
number  of  gallows  and  scaffolds  to  be  seen 
everywhere.  Each  town  has  its  own  execu- 
tioner. I  must,  for  justice  sake,  clear  England 
from  this  stigma ;  I  believe  there  are  no  public 
murderers  in  that  country :  the  inhabitants 
hang  themselves. 

"  JHaaTe"  a  kind  of  suspicion  that  the  Euro- 
peans are  cannibals  ;  for  they  shut  large  flocks 
of  healthful  and  strong  persons  in  certain  inclo- 
sures,  called  cloisters,  for  the  purpose  of  making 
them  fat  and  smooth.  This  object  seldom  fails, 
as  these  prisoners,  free  from  all  labor  and  care, 
have  nothing  to  do  but  to  enjoy  themselves  in 
these  gardens  of  pleasure. 

"  Europeans  commonly  drink  water  in  the 
morning  to  cool  their  stomachs  j  this  object 
accomplished,  they  drink  brandy  to  heat  them 
again. 

"In  Europe  are  two  principal  sects  in  reli- 
gion ;  the  Roman  catholic  and  the  protestant. 
The  protestants  worship  but  one  God ;  the 
catholics,  several.  Each  city  and  village,  with 
these,  has  its  appropriate  God  or  Goddess.  All 


154  NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 

these  deities  are  created  by  the  pope,  or  superior 
priest  at  Rome,  who,  on  his  part,  is  chosen  by 
certain  other  priests,  called  cardinals.  The 
mighty  power  of  these  creators  of  the  creator 
of  the  gods,  does  not,  as  it  would  seem  to 
an  indifferent  spectator,  apparently  alarm  the 
people. 

"  The  ancient  inhabitants  of  Italy  subdued 
the  whole  world,  and  obeyed  their  wives  ;  the 
present,  on  the  contrary,  abuse  their  wives  and 
submit  to  the  whole  world. 

"  The  Europeans  generally  feed  upon  the 
same  victuals  with  the  subterraneans.  The 
Spaniards  alone  live  on  the  air. 

"  Commerce  flourishes  here  and  there  ;  many 
things  are  offered  for  sale  in  Europe,  which  with 
us  are  never  objects  of  trade.  Thus  in  Rome, 
people  sell  heaven  :  in  Switzerland,  themselves  ; 
and  in  *******  ?  the  crown, 
sceptre  arid  throne  are  offered  at  public  auction. 

"  In  Spain,  idleness  is  the  true  mark  of  a 
well-bred  man ;  and  the  distinguishing  proof  of 
pure  nobility  is  an  aptitude  to  sleep. 

"  Among  European  writers,  those  are  in  the 
highest  repute,  who  change  the  natural  order  of 
-*• 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KL1M.  155 

words,  making  that  which  is  in  itself  simple  and 
distinct,  intricate  and  incomprehensible.  The 
class  most  noted  for  this  abominable  perversion 
of  style  is  that  of  the  l  poets :  '  this  singular 
removal  of  words  is  called  •'  poetry.'  The  capa- 
bility to  puzzle  is  by  no  means  the  only  requi- 
site to  become  a  true  poet ;  one  must  be  able  to 
lie  most  terribly.  A  certain  old  poet  named 
Homerus,  who  possessed  both  these  qualities  in 
an  eminent  degree,  is  styled  the  'master,'  and 
is  idolized  with  a  kind  of  divine  worship.  He 
has  had  many  imitators  of  his  distortion  of 
sentences  and  falsification  of  truth  ;  but,  it  is 
said,  none  have  yet  reached  his  excellence. 

"  The  cultivators  of  science  purchase  books 
in  great  quantities,  not  so  much,  I  am  told,  for 
the  sake  of  the  contents,  as  for  their  antiqueness 
of  style  or  elegance  of  binding. 

The  learned  and  unlearned  are  distinguished 
from  each  other  by  different  dresses  and  man- 
ners j  but  especially  by  different  religions  :  the 
latter  believe  mostly  in  one  God  ;  the  former 
worship  many  divinities,  both  male  and  female. 
Among  the  principal  of  these  are,  Apollo, 
Minerva,  and  nine  muses ;  besides  many  lesser 


156  NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KUM. 

whole  and  half  Gods.  The  poets  particularly 
implore  their  aid  and  l  hail '  them  when  they 
take  a  notion  to  rage. 

"  The  learned  are  divided,  according  to  their 
different  studies  into  the  classes  of  philosophers, 
poets,  grammarians,  natural  philosophers,  meta- 
physicians, &c. 

"A  philosopher  is  a  scientific  tradesman, 
who,  for  a  certain  price,  sells  prescriptions  of 
self-denial,  temperance  and  poverty  ;  he  generally 
preaches  the  pains  of  wealth,  till  he  becomes 
rich  himself,  when  he  abandons  the  world  for  a 
comfortable  and  dignified  retreat.  The  father 
of  the  philosophers,  Seneca,  is  said  to  have  col- 
lected royal  wealth. 

"  A  poet  is  one  who  makes  a  great  stir  with 
printed  prattle,  falsehood  and  fury.  Madness  is 
the  characteristic  of  the  true  poet.  All  those 
who  express  themselves,  with  clearness,  precision 
and  simplicity  are  deemed  unworthy  of  the 
laurel  wreath. 

"  The  grammarians  are  a  sort  of  military  body, 
who  disturb  the  public  peace.  They  are  distin- 
guished from  all  other  warriors,  by  dress  and 
weapons.  They  wear  black  instead  of  colored 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM.  157 

uniforms,  and  wield  pens  rather  than  swords. 
They  fight  with  as  much  obstinacy  for  letters 
and  words  as  do  the  others  for  liberty  and 
father-land. 

"A  natural  philosopher  is  one  who  searches 
into  the  bowels  of  the  earth,  studies  the  nature 
of  animals,  worms  and  insects,  and,  in  a  word,  is 
familiar  with  every  thing,  but  himself. 

"A  metaphysician  is  a  sort  of  philosopher, 
partly  visionary  and  partly  sceptical,  who  sees 
what  is  concealed  from  all  others.  He  describes 
the  being  and  unfolds  the  nature  of  souls  and 
spirits,  and  knows  both  what  is,  and  what  is 
not.  From  the  acuteness  of  his  sight,  the  meta- 
physician cannot  discern  what  lies  directly 
betore  his  feet. 

"  I  have  thus  briefly  considered  the  condition 
of  the  learned  republic  in  Europe.  I  could 
relate  many  other  things,  but  I  think  I  have 
given  the  reader  a  sufficient  test,  by  which  he 
may  judge  how  far  the  Europeans  have  a  right 
to  hold  themselves  preeminent  for  wisdom. 

"  The  people  above-ground  are  exceedingly 
pious,  and  extraordinarily  zealous  in  praying. 

Their  prayers,  however,  do  not  arise  from  the 
14 


158 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 


j  impulses  and  emotions  of  their  hearts,;  but  are 
subdued  to  mere  matters  of  form,  directed  by 
bells,  clocks  or  sun-dials.  Their  devotion  is 
entirely  mechanical,  founded  on  external  signs 
and  old  customs  rather  than  in  sincere  feeling. 

"When  I  came  to  Italy,  I  fancied  myself 
master  over  the  whole  country ;  for  every  one 
called  himself  my  slave.  I  took  a  notion  to  test 
the  extent  of  this  humble  obedience,  and  com- 
manded my  landlord  to  lend  me  his  wife  for  a 
night ;  he  became  very  angry,  however,  at  this, 
and  ordered  me  out  of  his  house. 

"  In  the  north,  there  are  many  people  who 
seek  with  great  pains  to  obtain  titles  of  offices 
which  they  do  not  hold  ;  and  many  lose  their 
reason  in  their  eagerness  to  be  on  the  right  side. 

Furthermore," 

******* 

Here  I  lost  my  patience.  Inflamed  to  the 
utmost  fury,  I  threw  the  book  on  the  ground, 
and  assured  Tomopoloko,  who  was  by  me,  that 
it  was  the  fiction  of  an  unjust  and  choleric 
writer.  When  my  first  passion  was  cooled,  I 
reviewed  my  sentence,  and  finally  concluded 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIAI.  159 

that  the  author  of  these  travels,  although  unfair 
and  untrue  in  many  particulars,  had  nevertheless 
made  some  good  points  and  happy  reflections. 

I  will  now  return  to  civil  affairs.  All  our 
neighbors  had  kept  very  quiet  for  a  long  period, 
and  during  this  peace  I  made  every  effort  to 
constitute  the  government  according  to  my  own 
notions,  and  strengthen  the  army  in  numbers 
and  efficiency. 

Suddenly,  we  received  information  that  three 
warlike  and  formidable  nations,  namely,  the 
Arctonians,  Kispusiananians  and  Alectorians, 
had  united  against  the  Gluamites.  The  first 
named  were  bears  gifted  with  reason  and  speech. 
The  Kispusiananians  were  a  nation  of  large 
cats  celebrated  for  their  cunning  and  ferocity. 
The  Alectorians  were  cocks,  armed  with  bows 
and  arrows.  These  arrows  with  poisoned  tips, , 
were  cast  with  wonderful  precision,  and  their 
least  touch  was  fatal. 

These  three  nations  had  been  irritated  by  the 
uncommon  progress  of  the  Quamites  as  well  as 
by  the  fall  of  the  Tanaquites.  The  allied 
powers  sent  ambassadors  to  Q,uama,  to  demand 
the  liberty  of  the  imprisoned  Tanaquitians  and 


160  NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 

the  cession  of  their  land,  with  power  to  declare 
war  should  the  same  be  denied.  By  my  advice, 
they  were  immediately  dismissed  with  the  fol- 
lowing answer :  "  Since  the  Tanaquitians,  vio- 
lators of  peace  and  alliance,  have  deserved  the 
misery  which  they  have  brought  upon  them- 
selves by  their  own  folly  and  pride,  his  majesty ; 
the  emperor,  is  determined  to  defend,  to  the 
utmost,  the  possessions  of  a  land,  conquered  in  a 
lawful  war,  in  spite  of  the  threats  and  fearless 
of  the  strength  of  your  unnatural  alliance." 

In  a  short  time  I  had  an  army  of  forty  thou- 
sand men  ready  for  the  coming  war:  among 
these  were  eight  thousand  horsemen  and  two 
thousand  riflemen.  The  emperor,  old  as  he 
was,  determined  to  follow  this  campaign ;  his 
eagerness  and  ambition  were  so  great,  that 
neither  his  wife's  representations  nor  mine  were 
effective  enough  to  induce  him  to  abandon  this 
intention. 

In  this  state  of  affairs,  I  was  made  somewhat 
uneasy  from  mistrust  of  the  Tanaquitians.  I 
feared  that,  impatient  of  their  unaccustomed 
slavery,  they  would  take  the  first  opportunity 
to  throw  off  their  yoke,  and  go  over  to  the 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM.  161 

enemy.  I  did  not  deceive  myself:  for  immedi- 
ately after  the  declaration  of  war,  we  heard  that 
full  twelve  thousand  Tanaquitians  in  complete 
armor,  had  marched  for  the  enemy's  encamp- 
ment. Thus  were  we  occupied  at  once  with 
four  mighty  foes. 

In  the  beginning  of  the  month  Kilian,  we 
commenced  our  march.  From  a  spy,  we  learnt 
that  the  united  troops  had  already  besieged  the 
fort  Sibol  in  Tanaqni.  on  the  borders  of  Kispu- 
siania.  On  our  arrival  before  the  place,  they 
abandoned  the  siege  and  prepared  to  meet  us. 
The  battle  took  place  in  a  dale  near  the  fort,  and 
is  to  this  day  called  the  "  Sibolic  battle." 

The  Arctonians,  who  formed  their  left  wing/ 
made  great  havoc  among  our  cavalry ;  and,  sup- 
ported by  the  rebellious  Tanaquites,  fell  furi- 
ously on  our  right ;  a  moment  longer  and  the 
fate  of  the  conflict  would  have  been  deter- 
mined. I  detached  a  body  of  riflemen  to  en- 
gage the  attention  of  the  enemy,  and  allow  the 
cavalry  to  recover ;  this  movement  was  very 
effective ;  the  men  handled  their  guns  well,  and 
the  enemy  hastily  abandoned  their  ground, 

under  a  terrific  shower  of  balls.     Meanwhile, 
14* 


162  NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 

the  Kispusiananians  on  the  other  side  pressed  our 
infantry  very  hard  ;  six  hundred  Qimmites  were 
down :  some  killed,  others  mortally  wounded. 
The  recovered  cavalry  now  rushed  upon  them 
impetuously,  broke  their  ranks,  and,  unresisted, 
slaughtered  them  by  thousands. 

The  Alectorians,  who  formed  the  reserve, 
gave  us  the  greatest  trouble,  for  when  our 
soldiers  would  attack  them,  they  flew  into  the 
air,  whence  they  shot  on  our  heads  their  poi- 
soned arrows.  One  of  these  entered  the  neck 
of  the  old  emperor,  while  fighting  vigorously  in 
the  midst  of  the  field.  He  fell  directly  from  his 
horse,  was  carried  to  his  tent,  and  shortly  after 
expired.  The  soldiers  having  been  kept  in 
ignorance  of  their  sovereign's  death,  the  battle 
was  continued  until  midnight.  I  soon  found 
that  our  balls  had  but  little  effect  upon  our 
flying  enemies ;  their  motions  being  so  rapid 
that  our  gunners  could  take  no  aim.  Some 
new  method  must  be  devised  to  check  them  ;  a 
lucky  expedient  occurred  to  me  ;  I  ordered  the 
guns  to  be  loaded  with  small  shot :  these  scatter- 
ing, brought  them  down  in  great  flocks,  and 
soon  half  of  them  were  destroyed ;  the  rest  laid 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM.  163 

down  their  weapons  and  surrendered.  The  Arc- 
tonians  and  Kispusiananians  quickly  followed 
their  example,  and  their  fortifications  were  sur- 
rendered to  our  hands. 

When  all  these  things  were  fortunately  brought  to  an  end, 
Behold  then  I  called  together  the  first  among  the  people,  the 

eldest, 

The  heads  of  all  the  troops,  to  Council,  in  full  assembly  ; 
Like  the  bubbling  ocean's  high-roaring  billows 
They  all  did  stream  to  me  ;  and  silently  heard  my  speech  : 

"Noble,  brave  and  celebrated  warriors.  I 
doubt  not,  that  it  is  well  known  to  the  most  of 
you,  that  I  ofttimes  advised  his  majesty  not  to 
hazard  his  precious  life  in  this  desperate  strife. 
But  his  natural  courage  and  fearless  heroism 
would  not  suffer  him  to  remain  at  home,  while 
his  brave  people  exposed  themselves  abroad.  O, 
that  he  could  have  witnessed  our  glorious 
victory  !  Then  our  entrance  into  the  imperial 
residence  would  have  been  a  true  triumph,  and 
our  joy  over  so  many  noble  deeds  would  have 
been  perfect ;  not  as  now,  mingled  with  torment- 
ing sorrow  !  I  can  no  longer  conceal  from  you 
the  mournful  event,  which  has  given  each  one 
of  us,  a  greater  wound  than  could  all  the  arrows 

*• 


164  NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 

of  the  enemy.  Know  then,  that  our  emperor, 
in  the  thickest  of  the  battle,  was  struck  by  an 
unfortunate  arrow,  and  soon  after  expired.  Hor- 
rible event !  What  sorrow,  what  general  mourn- 
ing will  the  loss  of  this  great  king  cause  over 
the  whole  country !  Yet,  do  not  lose  courage  ! 
The  great  hero  has  ceased  to  live  in  himself  ; 
but  he  is  not  dead  to  you  !  Your  emperor  lives 
again  in  two  princes,  true  images  of  their  great 
father,  and  heirs  no  less  to  his  virtues  than  to  his 
dignities.  You  have  not  changed  your  emperor, 
but  only  your  emperor's  name.  Since  the  prince 
Timuso,  as  the  first  born,  receives  the  crown,  I 
am,  from  this  moment,  under  his  sceptre,  the 
leader  of  the  army. 

"  Hail,  Timuso  !  To  him  let  us  swear  alle- 
giance !  To  him,  let  us  swear  eternal  loyalty  ! 
Him,  let  us  all  hereafter  obey  !  " 


mmm 


CHAPTER    XIV. 


THE  AUTHOR  BECOMES  A  MONARCH  UNDER  THE 
GROUND. 


WHEN  my  speech  was  ended,  they  all  cried 
out  with  loud  voices :  "  We  will  have  Pikil-Su, 
for  emperor."  When  I  heard  this,  I  became 
terrified,  and  begged  them,  with  tears  in  my 
eyes,  not  to  forget  the  fidelity  and  duty  they 
owed  to  the  imperial  family.  But  my  words 
were  of.no  use.  They  all  approached  me,  and 
placed  the  crown  upon  my  head,  repeating  the 
above-mentioned  exclamation.  I  was  then  car- 
ried from  the  tent  and  proclaimed  before  the 
whole  army,  emperor  of  Q,uama,  king  of  Tanqui, 


1C6  NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 

Arctonia  and  Alectoria,  and  duke  of  Kispusiana- 
nia.  Afterwards  we  made  a  triumphal  entry 
into  the  capital,  where  prince  Timuso,  himself 
acknowledged  me  for  emperor.  Thus,  from  a 
miserable,  shipwrecked  wretch,  I  became  a  great 
and  powerful  monarch.  I  soon  married  the 
daughter  of  the  deceased  emperor,  for  the  people 
still  loved  and  honored  the  old  royal  family. 
This  princess  was  named  Ralac,  and 

Bloomed,  like  the  new-blown  rose 
In  mellowed,  purple-smile. 

when  I  had  reduced  to  order  the  affairs  of  the 
empire,  and  firmly  established  myself  on  the 
throne,  I  thought  of  new  means,  by  which  I 
might  extend  my  dominions,  and  render  my 
power  fearful  to  the  whole  subterranean  world. 
I  turned  my  attention  to  a  navy,  and  soon  had  a 
fleet  of  twenty  ships  on  the  sea. 

I  soon  came  to  regard  myself  an  under-ground 
Alexander ;  and  determined  to  make  myself  as 
famous  as  he  had  on  our  globe.  I  concluded  to 
sail  first  for  Mezendore  and  thence  to  Martinia. 
We  set  sail  at  that  period  of  the  year,  when 
!  the  planet  Nazar  is  of  the  middle  size,  and 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM.  167 

in  a  few  days  came  in  sight  of  the  Mezendoric 
coast. 

I  immediately  sent  ambassadors  to  the  impe- 
rial residence,  of  whom  was  demanded  in  the 
name  of  the  emperor, 

"  What  their  purpose ;  whence  they  came 
Over  the  foaming  billows  of  the  swelling  main." 

The  ambassadors  answered : 

"  Neither  misleading  stars,  deluding  winds  nor  storm 
Here  brought  us ;  with  voluntary  will  we  steered." 

and  thereupon  delivered  to  the  emperor  a  letter 
of  the  following  contents  : 

"  We,  Niels  Klim,  ambassador  of  the  sun, 
emperor  in  QAiama,  king  of  Tanaqui,  Arctonia, 
and  Alectoria,  and  duke  of  Kispusianania,  salute 
the  emperor  of  Mezendore,  Miklopolata.  We 
humbly  make  known,  that  it  is  concluded  in 
the  unchangeable  councils  of  heaven,  that  all  the 
empires  and  kingdoms  of  the  world  must  sur- 
render themselves  to  the  power  of  Q,uama ;  and 
as  the  will  of  providence  is  irrevocable,  your 
kingdom  must  necessarily  submit  to  fate.  We 


168  NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 

therefore  advise  you  to  surrender  voluntarily 
yourself  and  your  dominions,  rather  than  fool- 
ishly resist  our  invincible  phalanx,  and  thereby 
experience  all  the  bloody  horrors  of  war. 

"Given  from  our  fleet,  the  third  day  in  the 
month  Rimat." 

In  a  few  days  our  ambassadors  returned  with 
a  bold  and  haughty  answer.  I  made  a  descent 
upon  the  coast,  placed  my  army  in  battle  array, 
and  sent  spies  to  examine  the  condition  of  the 
enemy.  The  spies  came  back  in  great  haste, 
and  related  that  an  immense  army,  of  sixty 
thousand  in  number,  consisting  of  lions,  tigers, 
elephants,  bears  and  birds  of  prey,  was  drawing 
towards  us.  We  were  soon  apprised  of  their 
near  approach,  by  roars,  shrieks  and  terrific  cries, 
commingling  a  devilish  tumult.  The  combat 
soon  commenced,  and  truly,  't  was  one  of  the 
hottest  and  most  contumaceous,  in  which  I  ever 
engaged  :  at  last  we  put  them  to  flight. 

In  this  engagement  fell  thirty-three  thousand 
Mezendarians,  and  about  four  thousand  were 
made  prisoners.  We  followed  our  victory, 
and  drew  before  the  capital  city;  this  we 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM.  169 

besieged  both  by  land  and  sea.  So  energetic 
was  our  blockade,  that  the  enemy  quickly  pro- 
posed a  parley,  and  sent  ambassadors  to  ask  for 
peace  on  reasonable  conditions.  The  emperor 
offered  to  me  his  daughter,  the  handsomest  of 
the  lionesses,  in  marriage,  and  the  half  of  his 
empire  as  a  dowry.  These  conditions,  although 
very  honorable,  were  very  displeasing  to  me,  for 
I  considered  it  both  unsafe  and  illicit  to  forsake 
my  wife,  whom  I  left  behind  in  pregnancy,  and 
marry  a  lioness.  I  therefore  sent  back  the  am- 
bassadors without  answer. 

I  now  ordered  my  cannon  to  be  directed 
against  the  wall,  which,  although  built  of  stone? 
was  soon  rent.  The  emperor  lost  all  hope  and 
surrendered  himself  together  with  all  his  lands. 
After  putting  a  garrison  in  the  capital,  I  took  the 
emperor  on  board  my  own  ship,  and  laid  my 
course  for  Martinia,  the  coast  of  which  we 
reached  after  a  long  but  fortunate  voyage. 

We  obtained  here  the  same  success  as  else- 
where. When  the  Martinians  submitted,  I 
determined  to  include  their  neighbors  under  the 
same  yoke.  As  I  was  preparing  to  effect  this, 
ambassadors  from  four  adjacent  countries  arrived, 

15 

* 


170 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 


and  voluntarily  acknowledged  allegiance  to  me. 
I  now  possessed  so  many  kingdoms,  that  I  did  not 
deem  it  worth  my  trouble  to  ascertaiu  the  names 
of  these  ;  but  included  them  all  under  the  title 
of  the  Martinianic  "dominion." 


•*-- 


CHAPTER    XV 


A  SUDDEN   CHANGE   IN  THE  FORTUNES   OF  THE 
AUTHOR. 


HAVING  made  so  many  and  extraordinary 
warlike  excursions,  and  added  to  our  fleet  a 
number  of  Martinianic  ships,  we  set  sail  for  our 
own  land,  into  which  we  entered  with  a  splen- 
dor exceeding  the  old  Roman  triumphs.  And 
really  my  deeds  deserved  all  possible  honors ; 
for  what  heroic  action  could  be  greater  and 
more  glorious  than  to  change  a  despised  nation, 
a  nation  exposed  to.  the  insults  of  its  weaker 
neighbors,  to  the  acknowledged  and  respected 
ruler  of  the  whole  subterranean  world  ?  What 


172  NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 

could  be  more  honorable  to  a  man,  than  to  rein- 
state the  human  race  in  that  dominion,  which 
nature  has  given  to  it,  over  all  other  animals  ? 

From  this  time  a  new  period  may  be  reckoned 
in  history  ;  a  fifth  monarchy  can  be  added  to 
the  glorious  roll  of  splendid  empires.  To  the 
Assyrian,  Persian,  Greek  and  Roman  empires, 
the  Subterranean-Q,uamatic  monarchy,  which 
unquestionably  exceeds  them  all  in  magnificence 
and  power,  may  not  be  considered  unworthy  to 
be  joined.  I  could  not  decline,  for  obvious 
reasons,  the  title  of  Koble,  or  great,  with  which 
the  conquered  nations  saluted  me. 

I  was  hailed  thereafter,  by  the  following  titles  : 
"  Niels  the  Great,  Ambassador  of  the  Sun,  Empe- 
ror in  Qiiama  and  Mezendore,  King  of  Tanaqui, 
Alectoria,  Arctonia,  the  Mezendoric  and  Martini- 
anic  dominions,  Grand  Duke  of  Kespusianania, 
Ruler  of  Martinia,  etc.  etc." 

firmly  founded,  stood 


The  mighty  empire  ;  the  favorite  of  fortune, 
I  seemed  as  firmly  fixed  ;  not  one,  alas  ! 
May  be  deemed  happy  'till  his  latest  hour. 

When  I  had  reached  this  splendid  and  pow- 
erful height,  greater  than  any  man  should  desire, 

-*- '• 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM.  173 

I  became,  what  men  usually  become,  who  are 
raised  from  a  simple  state  to  great  honor  in  the 
world.  I  forgot  my  former  condition,  and  in- 
clined to  vanity.  Instead  of  exerting  myself  to 
retain  the  favor  of  the  people.  I  proved  myself 
cruel  and  rigorous  to  all  classes.  My  subjects, 
whom  I  had  formerly  endeared  by  friendly  and 
polite  conduct,  I  now  regarded  and  treated  as 
slaves.  For  this  course,  I  came  soon  to  be 
despised ;  the  love  and  reverence  of  my  people 
were  changed  to  indifference  and  fear.  Their 
sentiments  towa-rds  me  I  soon  had  reason  to 
understand,  when  I  issued  a  proclamation  to  the 
inhabitants. 

The  occasion  was  this :  the  empress,  whom  I 
left  in  pregnancy  during  my  last  expedition,  had 
in  my  absence  been  delivered  of  a  son.  This 
prince  I  wished  to  have  nominated  as  my  suc- 
cessor. I  therefore  summoned  a  Diet,  and  com- 
manded the  Quamitian  nobles  and  the  great 
men  among  the  conquered  nations,  to  meet  in 
the  capita],  at  the  crowning  of  the  child.  None 
dared  to  disobey  this  proclamation,  and  the 
coronation  passed  off  with  great  magnificence ; 

but  I  observed  by  the  countenances  of  my  sub- 
15* 


174  NARRATIVE   OF    NIELS    KLIM. 

jects,  that  their  joy  was  dissembled.  I  became 
more  confirmed  in  my  mistrust,  when  I  learnt 
that  a  multitude  of  libels  had  been  spread  about. 
These  libels,  by  unknown  authors,  criticised  me 
very  severely,  and  asserted  that  prince  Timuso 
was  insulted  in  the  choice  of  my  son.  This 
enraged  me  so  much  that  I  could  not  rest 
until  that  noble  and  excellent  prince  should  be 
removed  from  my  path.  I  therefore  suborned 
some  persons  to  accuse  him  of  treason ;  and 
since  rulers  seldom  want  assistants,  when  they 
would  commit  crimes,  I  was  quickly  enabled  to 
prove  that  Timuso  had  attempted  my  life.  I 
had  him  sentenced  to  death  by  bribed  judges, 
and  then  threw  him  into  prison,  where  he  was 
privately  murdered ;  for  I  feared  to  excite  a 
rebellion  by  a  public  execution.  I  had  deter- 
mined to  murder  the  younger  prince  likewise ; 
but  postponed  it.  His  youth  procured  for 
him  the  safety,  which  neither  my  justice  nor 
humanity  would  have  granted  him.  Having 
once  imbued  my  hands  in  innocent  blood,  my 
cruelty  and  moroseness  knew  no  bounds.  I 
doomed  to  death  several  whole  families,  whose 
loyalty  I  merely  suspected.  Not  a  day  passed 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM.  175 

without  bloodshed.  I  defiled  my  soul  with  the 
blood  of  innocence,  virtue  and  nobleness.  All 
these  things  hastened  a  rebellion,  excited  by 
the  nobles,  who  had  been  long  disgusted  with 
me. 

I  will  here  acknowledge,  that  I  deserved  all 
the  misfortunes  that  afterwards  met  me.  It  had 
certainly  been  more  fit  for  a  Christian  king  to 
have  taught  his  ignorant  and  heathen  subjects 
to  know  the  true  God,  and  to  have  given  them 
an  example  in  my  own  person  of  the  sweet 
charities  of  the  true  religion,  than  to  have 
excelled,  even  themselves  in  barbarity,  sin  and 
moral  turpitude.  It  would  have  been  an  easy 
matter  for  me  to  have  reformed  the  whole  sub- 
terranean world,  for  whatever  I  commanded 
was  fulfilled  ;  whatever  I  determined  was 
received  in  perfect  good  faith ;  whenever  I 
spoke,  my  words  were  as  those  of  a  God.  But 
I  forgot  God  and  myself;  I  thought  of  nothing 
but  empty  arid  vain  splendor,  and  the  augmenta- 
tion of  my  power  ;  wherefore  I  perpetrated  many 
cruelties,  until  the  people,  unable  to  bear  more, 
(and  they  were  a1  patient  people,)  broke  out 
against  me. 


176  NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 

While  matters  stood  thus.  I  determined  to  lay 
hands  on  prince  Hidoba.  This  intention  I 
revealed  to  my  high-chancellor,  Kalak,  in  whom 
I  had  great  confidence.  He  promised  to  be  of 
service  to  me  in  all  things,  and  departed  to  fulfil 
my  order :  but  at  heart,  he  detested  my  cowardly 
fears,  and  left  me  only  to  discover  my  plot  to 
the  prince.  Together  they  repaired  to  the  fort, 
collected  the  garrison,  and  represented,  in  a 
touching  manner,  their  danger  and  my  fears. 
The  tears  of  the  unfortunate  prince  gave  weight 
to  his  words  ;  all  seized  their  arms,  and  promised 
that  they  would  hazard  their  lives  for  him. 
The  cunning  chancellor  took  the  opportunity  to 
persuade  them  to  swear  loyalty  to  the  prince, 
and  sent  messages  to  others,  who,  he  knew, 
were  displeased  with  me,  to  take  arms  against 
the  tyrant. 

All  armed  themselves,  whose  hearts,  through  fear  and  horror, 
Did  burn  towards  their  country's  tyrant ;  they  met 

and  united  with  the  garrison,  while  I  awaited 
the  return  of  the  chancellor. 

******* 

By  the  advice  of  Pomopoloko,  I  fled  seasona- 

•*- 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM.  177 

bly  to  Tanaqui,  leaving  my  own  capital  before 
the  inhabitants  generally  were  apprised  of  the 
immediate  cause  of  the  sudden  out-break. 
Arrived  in  Tanaqui,  I  quickly  collected  an  army 
of  forty  thousand  men,  and  boldly  retraced  the 
steps  which  a  few  days  before  I  had  pursued  in 
fear  and  trembling.  I  had  little  doubt  that  my 
powers  would  be  augmented  by  Quamites,  who 
had  been  either  too  remote  to  suffer  from  my 
cruelty,  or  too  indifferent  to  my  infamy,  to  hesi- 
tate in  joining  a  force  so  overpowering,  and  a 
leader  whose  prospects  were  so  brilliant  as  mine. 
But  I  was  deceived  in  my  hopes :  instead  of 
auxiliaries  a  herald  from  the  prince  met  me. 
The  object  of  his  mission  was  to  declare  a 
formal  war,  and,  for  a  commencement  of  hostili- 
ties, that  my  wife  and  son  had  been  imprisoned. 
On  the  footsteps  of  the  herald  came  the  Qua- 
mitic  forces.  A  bloody  engagement  took  place, 
in  which  our  part  proved  to  be  inferior.  I,  left 
to  my  fate,  fled  to  a  neighboring  mountain, 
crossed  its  side  and  descended  to  a  dale  behind 
it.  There  I  remained  in  concealment  for  some 
time,  bemoaning,  the  while,  my  misery,  as  I 
then  believed,  but  which  I  afterwards  more 


•*. 

178  NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 

justly  named,  my  folly.  I  was  so  agitated,  had 
so  thoroughly  lost  that  presence  of  mind  for 
which  I  had  in  former  days  been  distinguished, 
that  I  did  not  remove  from  my  head  the  crown, 
which,  being  ornamented  with  sunbeams,  would 
have  easily  betrayed  me.  While  panting  like  a 
bayed  lion,  I  heard  a  nestling  on  the  other  side 
of  the  mountain,  which  I  supposed  was  made  by 
men  beating  the  bushes  to  discover  any  hiders. 
I  now  looked  around  for  a  more  secure  retreat, 
for  I  doubted  not  that  my  flight  had  been 
noticed,  and  that  these  pursuers  would  search 
on  my  side  of  the  mountain.  Behind  me  was 

A  thick  and  matted  forest,  sunk  between  hills 


All  desolate  and  bare,  whose  dark  and  awful  silence 
Beckoned  me. 

I  hurried  thither,  fiercely  flinging  aside  the 
thorny  bushes  that  clung  as  fiercely  to  me,  and 
came  at  last  to  the  mouth  of  a  cave.  Creeping 
in,  I  observed  that  the  cave  was  deep,  and  as  far 
as  the  light  penetrated,  level.  I  determined  to 
explore  its  recesses,  though  I  think  I  should  not 
have  been  so  hardy  in  my  days  of  fortune. 

After  treading  cautiously  a  hundred  paces,  I 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM.  179 

suddenly  lost  my  footing,  and  plunged  with  the 
quickness  of  lightning,  into  a  hole  that  must 
have  had  perpendicular  sides. 

Having  shot  through  this  passage,  the  abode 
of  palpable  darkness  and  night,  I  suddenly  per- 
ceived a  faint  light. 

As  when  through  clouds  the  moon  doth  gleam 
With  pallid  smile. 

As  this  light  increased,  rny  speed  decreased,  so 
that  without  pain  or  trouble,  I  was  soon  brought 
to  a  stand  between  two  high  mountains.  My 
sensations,  during  this  remarkable  passage,  were 
similar  to  those  experienced  while  tossing  among 
the  billows  of  the  ocean.  On  recovering,  I 
found  myself,  to  my  great  astonishment,  in  the 
same  spot  from  which,  years  before,  I  had 
plunged  into  the  subterranean  regions.  A 
moment's  reflection  gave  me  the  means  to 
account  for  the  decrease  of  speed  in  the  latter 
part  of  my  course.  The  weight  of  the  atmos- 
phere is  much  greater  on  the  surface  of  the 
globe,  than  below ;  consequently  I  was  buoyed 
up  by  the  increasing  resistance  of  the  air  towards 
the  surface.  Had  this  not  been  the  case,  I 
*• 


J80 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 


should,  unquestionably,  at  least  in  my  own  mind, 
have  shot  off  to  the  moon. 

Still,  being  obnoxious  to  cavil,  I  will  defer 
this  hypothesis  to  the  astronomer's  closer  exami- 
nation. 


CHAPTER   XVI. 


THE  AUTHOR'S  RETURN  TO  HIS  FATHER-LAND,  AND 
THE  END  OF  THE  FIFTH  MONARCHY. 


ALTHOUGH  perfectly  sensible,  my  limbs  were 
entirely  benumbed ;  and  I  lay  helpless  for  a  long 
time.  Meanwhile  I  ruminated  on  my  singular 
course.  The  events  of  the  past  years  rose  one 
after  another  with  clearness  in  my  mind ;  partic- 
ularly those  of  my  exaltation  and  fame.  Here 
was  I,  the  late  founder  of  the  splendid  fifth  mon- 
archy, metamorphosed  to  a  poor  and  hungry 
bachelor-of-arts ;  a  change  so  terrible  and  un- 
precedented, that  it  might  well  have  disturbed 

the  strongest  brain.     I  seriously  examined  my 
16 


182  NARRATIVE  OF  NIELS  KLIM. 

present  circumstances  —  were  they  real  ?  or  did 
I  dream  ?  Alas  ?  the  tremors  of  terror  and  un- 
certainty only  gave  place  to  the  pangs  of  sorrow 
and  regret. 

"  Almighty  Father  !  "  I  exclaimed,  and  towards  heaven 
Stretched  my  trembling  hands,  "  what  sin  provoked  thy  ven- 
geance, 

That  all  thy  thunders  crash  upon  my  head? 
Where  am  T  ?  whence  came  1 1  how  shall  I  escape 
Thy  anger." 

Truly !  should  one  look  over  the  journals  of 
all  times,  he  will  neither  in  ancient  nor  modern 

history  find  a  parallel  to  so  great  a  fall ;  with 

i 
the  single  exception  of  that  of  Nebuchadnezzar, 

who  from  the  greatest  of  kings  was  changed  to 
a  dumb  beast. 

I  began  to  descend  the  mountain  by  the  path 
which  leads  to  Sandvig.  When  about  half  way 
down,  I  observed  some  boys,  whom  I  beckoned 
towards  me,  repeating  the  words :  Jem  pikal 
salim,  which  in  the  Q,uamitic  language  signify : 
show  me  the  way.  The  lads,  however,  were 
apparently  frightened  at  seeing  a  man  in  a 
strange  dress,  and  with  a  hat  on  his  head  glitter- 
ing with  golden  rays ;  for  they  rushed  down  the 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM.  183 

mountain  in  great  haste,  arriving  at  Sandvig  an 
hour  hefore  me.  The  rumor  of  the  strange 
appearance  on  the  mountain  was  spread  about 
and  caused  terror  throughout  the  town ;  the 
notion  was,  that  the  shoemaker  of  Jerusalem 
wandered  among  the  mountains.  This  impres- 
sion arose  thus:  the  boys  on  being  questioned 
by  the  townsmen,  replied  that  I  had  told  them 
who  I  was.  I  afterwards  learnt  that  my  words, 
Jeru  pikal  salim,  had  been  interpreted  by  sound, 
and  that  this  clew,  acted  upon  by  fear  and  super- 
stition, had  been  developed  into  the  strangest  of 
fables.  This  story  was  unquestioned  by  this 
simple  people,  inasmuch  as  the  adventures  of 
the  travelling  shoemaker  were  then  newly  re- 
ported, and  it  had  been  asserted  that  he  had 
been  seen  a  sliort  time  before  in  Hamburg. 

When,  towards  evening,  I  entered  Sandvig,  I 
observed  that  the  inhabitants  were  collected  in 
large  flocks,  to  gaze  at  me.  As  I  approached 
them  and  spoke,  they  all  took  to  flight,  except 
one  old  man :  him  I  addressed,  and  begged  of 
him  to  give  me  lodging  at  his  house.  He  asked 
me,  "where  I  was  born,  whence  I  came,  &c." 
I  answered  him,  with  a  sigh  :  "  When  I  come  to 


184  NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KLIM. 

your  house,  I  will  relate  events  that  will  seem 
incredible  to  yon,  and  whose  equals  you  will 
not  find  in  any  history."  The  old  man  then 
took  me  by  the  hand  and  led  me  to  his  house. 
When  there  I  demanded  drink  ;  he  gave  me  a 
glass  of  beer.  When  I  recovered  my  breath, 
after  this  draught,  I  addressed  the  old  man  thus : 
"  You  see  before  you  a  human  being,  who  has 
been  a  bolt  for  the  changing  winds  of  fortune  ; 
one,  who  has  been  pursued  by  a  fatality  more 
controlling  and  more  unhappy  than  was  ever 
experienced  by  mortal." 

"  Moral  and  physical  revolutions  may  be 
effected  in  a  moment,  without  surprising  men  • 
but  what  has  befallen  me  is  beyond  the  reach  of 
human  imagination !" 

"It  is  the  traveller's  fate;"  my  landlord 
answered  ;  "  many  strange  events  and  changes 
might  happen  on  a  voyage  of  sixteen  hundred 
years." 

I  did  not  understand  this,  and  requested  him 
to  tell  me  what  he  meant  by  sixteen  hundred 
years.  He  replied  :  "  If  one  may  believe  history, 
it  is  now  sixteen  hundred  years  since  Jerusalem 
was  destroyed,  and  I  doubt  not,  venerable  man, 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    KL1M.  185 

that  you  were  already  of  age  at  its  destruction. 
If  what  is  said  of  you  is  true,  you  must  have 
been  born  in  the  reign  of  Tiberius.  I  know 
that  this  matter  is  rather  supposed  than  proved. 
The  inhabitants  of  this  place,  however,  believe 
you  to  be  the  shoemaker  of  Jerusalem,  cele- 
brated in  history,  who,  since  the  time  of  Christ, 
has  travelled  about  the  world.  Nevertheless, 
the  more  I  look  at  you,  the  greater  resemblance 
I  find  to  an  old  friend  of  mine,  who  twelve 
years  since  perished  on  the  top  of  a  neighboring 
mountain."  At  these  words,  I  looked  carefully 
at  my  host.  In  a  moment  the  fog  was  cleared 
from  before  my  eyes.  I  saw  before  me  my 
dear  friend  Abelin,  in  whose  house,  at  Bergen,  I 
had  spent  many  happy  days.  I  ran  to  his  em- 
brace with  outstretched  arms.  "  Then  'tis  you, 
my  dear  Abelin !  I  can  scarcely  believe  my 
eyes.  Here  you  see  Klim  again,  who  has  just 
returned  from  the  subterranean  world.  I  am 
the  same,  who  twelve  years  since  plunged  into 
the  mountain  cave.  He  fell  upon  my  neck  and 
with  tearful  eyes,  demanded  where  I  had  been 
and  what  had  happened  to  me.  I  told  him  all 

that  had  occurred.     At  first  he  would  not  credit 
16* 


186  NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS    HUM. 

me ;  but  afterwards  he  acknowledged  that  all 
must  have  been  so,  for  I  could  never  have 
invented  such  strange  adventures. 

Abelin  advised  me  not  to  repeat  these  things 
to  others,  and  to  keep  myself  secluded  in  his 
house.  He  told  the  people,  who  rushed  to  his 
house  to  see  the  "  shoemaker  of  Jerusalem," 
that  I  had  vanished;  for  he  justly  concluded  this 
to  be  the  best  and  most  satisfactory  answer  he 
could  make  to  an  ignorant  and  superstitious 
peasantry.  I  remained  in  concealment  until 
clothes,  more  suitable  to  the  surface  of  the  earth, 
than  those  I  brought  from  below,  were  made, 
when  Abelin  reported  me  to  be  a  relative  of  his, 
lately  a  student  in  Trondhjim,  on  a  visit.  He 
recommended  me  to  the  bishop  of  Bergen,  who 
promised  to  me  the  first  rectorship  that  should 
become  vacant.  This  office  was  much  to  my 
taste,  for  it  seemed  to  have  a  likeness  to  my 
former  state,  a  school-master  being  a  miniature 
of  royalty.  The  rod  may  be  likened  to  the 
sceptre ;  the  desk  to  the  throne.  After  wait- 
ing for  a  vacancy  in  vain,  I  determined,  from 
necessity,  to  accept  the  first  office  I  could  get. 
At  this  time  the  sacristan  of  the  church  died  ; 


NARRATIVE    OF   NIELS   KLIM.  187 

his  place  was  offered  to  me  by  the  bishop  and 
accepted.  An  amusing  promotion  to  one  who 
had  lately  reigned  over  many  great  kingdoms. 
Nevertheless,  since  nothing  is  so  ridiculous  as 
poverty,  and  since  it  is  foolish  to  throw  away 
dirty  water,  before  clean  is  at  hand,  I  think  it 
would  have  been  still  more  laughable  to  have 
refused  it.  Fulfilling  the  duties  of  this  office,  I 
now  live  in  philosophic  ease. 

Shortly  after  my  induction,  a  marriage  with  a 
merchant's  daughter  was  proposed  to  me.  I 
could  have  liked  the  girl,  but  as  it  was  probable 
that  the  empress  of  Q,uama  was  yet  alive,  I  did 
not  care  to  make  myself  obnoxious  to  the  ban  of 
polygamy.  M.  Abelin,  however,  into  whose 
bosom.  I  was  used  to  pour  my  doubts,  and  all  the 
pressures  of  my  heart,  abridged  this  fear,  and 
advised  me  to  marry  ;  which  I  did.  With  this 
wife  I  have  lived  six  years  in  peaceful  and 
affectionate  union.  During  this  period  she  has 
borne  me  three  fine  sons,  wholly  worthy  of 
their  half  brother,  the  prince  of  Quama. 

To  my  wife,  I  never  told  my  subterranean 
adventures ;     but    I    can    never    forget,    for    a 
moment,  the  splendor  that  once  surrounded  me. 
-*- 


188 


NARRATIVE    OF    NIELS  JCLIM. 


To  this  day,  I  often  express  myself  in  signs 
and  words,  which,  however  consistent  in  the 
mighty  ruler  and  magnificent  tyrant,  are  little 
adapted  to  the  humble  sacristan  of  Bergen. 


•*•- 


--*- 


THE   SUPPLEMENT   OF   ABELIN. 


NIELS  KLIM  lived  to  the  year  1695.  His 
irreprehensible  life  and  amiable  disposition  en- 
deared him  to  all.  Yet  were  the  priests  now 
and  then  angry  with  him  for  his  great  sedateness 
arid  reservedness,  which  they  called  pride  and 
haughtiness.  I,  who  knew  the  man,  wondered 
much  at  the  modesty,  humility  and  patience 
with  which  he,  who  had  been  monarch  over 
many  nations,  executed  his  mean  and  vulgar 
duties.  So  long  as  his  strength  permitted,  he 
would,  at  a  certain  time  in  the  year,  ascend  the 
mountain  and  gaze  into  the  cave,  out  of  which 
he  came  to  the  surface.  His  friends  observed 


•4- 


190 


THE    SUPPLEMENT    OF    ABELIN. 


that  he  always  returned  weeping,  and  immedi- 
ately shut  himself  in  his  chamber,  where  he 
remained  alone  the  rest  of  the  day. 

His  wife  informed  me,  that  she  frequently 
heard  him  murmur  in  his  dreams,  of  armies  and 
navies.  His  library  consisted  mostly  of  political 
works;  for  this  selection  he  was  blamed  by 
several,  who  thought  this  description  of  books 
unfit  for  a  sacristan. 

Of  the  "subterranean  travels,"  there  is  but  a 
single  copy,  written  by  his  own  hand,  which  is 
in  my  possession. 

I  have  often  had  it  in  mind  to  publish  them, 
but  several  important  reasons  have  hindered  me 
from  doing  so. 


•*•- 


30112041635068 


